The Hands of Sorrow
by Confessed4Life
Summary: Richard's anger has grown wild with the Rahl magic, bringing his relationship with Kahlan to a dark place where the life of the child she carries is not only in danger from him, but their enemy as well. *This fic was written by request and contains things that may be sensitive for some. **This story is rated M for scenes of violence.
1. Chapter 1

Kahlan sat on the edge of the lake, watching as the water rippled before her. The sun was beating down upon her, relentlessly heating her body without mercy. Her heart was pounding, not only from the warmth, but the thoughts she had tried to run away from. It wouldn't be long until he came after her, wondering what was wrong and once she told him; once the words were spoken aloud, it could not be taken back. It had been going on for over a year, her heart and mind fighting over what she wanted and though she had promised to never hurt him, it was increasingly becoming harder.

The night before they had stood around him as he shouted in anger, announcing his frustration in the situation between himself and the Mother Confessor. Her heart had stopped in that moment, a part of her wanting to rush into his arms and demand that he make love to her, while the other wanted to run into the forest and scream in agony. The look in his eyes remained with her, the intensity of the moment almost overwhelming. She knew that it was hard for him, that whatever feelings he had for her were forced to remained buried, but in that second, when their eyes met, she saw the same frustration and rage she felt herself.

She awoke in his arms, unsure as to how she had arrived there, but didn't rush to move away. It was the first time in a long while where she had felt the way that she did. She was safe and warm, comforted and alive, things she never felt away from him. Richard had awoken without a tell, laying silent as she pulled herself closer, needing more. The instant she let it known she was awake, she would have to pull away and she wanted whatever feelings he provided her to linger when she moved.

The urge to kiss him had been so strong, she could almost feel his lips against hers and from that thought alone, she went down. Her body began to ache, her mind imagining things she had never done before, things she would never be able to do with him. Her leg had come to lay over his, her knee lightly touching something that gave him away. Doing her best to pretend to awaken, she rolled from his arms and onto her back, rolling her shoulders as she turned her head toward the fire. If she opened her eyes in his direction, her secret would be clear, she needed something more. Sitting up, the Mother Confessor stretched her arms the way that she always did before coming to her feet. Within a breath she was standing and moving faster than before.

Now she sat here, beaten by the sun for her own foolishness. A part of her had wanted to jump into the water, hoping that it would clear her mind and ease the ache in her stomach, but even now, she thought of the consequences. It was her burden to bear, loving a man she could not have. When they found the stone, he would leave and she would take a mate, it was their destiny. He would never touch her the way that he did in her dreams and his mouth would never claim hers and hers alone.

Shaking the thoughts from her mind, she pulled off her boots and brought her feet to the water, almost moaning as the cool liquid flowed over her hot skin. Laying back, she let the sun pound on her face and chest, almost feeling like it was a punishment from the spirits for having such thoughts. Lifting the bottom of her dress, she exposed more of her legs to the heat, enjoying the cross feelings of pain from the sun and the relief from the water. She has definitely spent too much time with the Mord'Sith, she thought as a smile came to her lips. Pain was never something she enjoyed before, but now, the physical pain either reminded her that she was strong or it took away what she felt inside. Both, she concluded, were a good thing.

The brunette jumped as something cool splashed on her face, her eyes opening as she brought her hand to her forehead to block out the sun. "Richard?" she questioned as he knelt down beside her, almost blocking the light from her eyes. "What are you doing?"

The panic left his face as she finished, his shoulders slouching in relief. "You wouldn't wake up," he said quietly.

"I'm sorry, I must have- How long was I out here?"

"Long enough for the sun to claim you," he responded softly, pulling his shirt from his chest. She watched him move for a moment, his muscles rippling with each motion, her body screaming in need. His shirt was wet when he brought it back to her sight, she had to force her eyes off of his skin as he brought the cloth to the side of her face. It stung, but not as bad as she thought that it would. He was gentle as he moved the cloth, letting her skin soak up some of the water in hopes that it helped with her pain. "Zedd said that it would be safest to stay here for another night until we know where the compass is taking us."

She was grateful that he didn't mention what had happened that morning, but she wasn't entirely sure why. "Does he think it will bring us to another village?"

Richard shrugged, moving the cloth to her neck, his eyes glancing to the top of her breasts. "I don't know, maybe. I don't think I can become any more of a monster."

"You're not a monster," she stated quickly.

Blinking, he brought his shirt to her chest and squeezed, watching as her eyes fell closed to the pleasure the water brought her. "I killed all of those innocent people, Kahlan."

"We've all killed people and some, some have been innocent, yes, but some haven't. We can't let our past mistakes hold onto us. We learn from them and try to become better."

"You-"

Sitting up, she held his shirt in her lap, letting what was left of the water inside drip onto her dress. "There are always mistakes, Richard. We make them everyday, I make them every day. It's the ones that we can control that we hold onto. Listen to me, I know how you are feeling, I do. It's terrible that those people died, yes, but you were not able to stop it. But," she added as her hand came to his knee. "If it was to happen again, you could and you would stop it. You learned from it, found something about yourself..."

"I don't like who the anger turns me into."

Pulling back her hand, she leaned toward the water, staring out as she took in a slow and deep breath. "We all have a piece of ourselves that we wish we could change."

"I can't think of anything you'd want to change about yourself," he told her softly.

Blinking, she turned her head toward him. "I can think of one."

"You shouldn't."

Her body tensed at the tone of his voice, the look in his eyes captivating her instantly. "We should get back."

"We have time," he told her quietly. Watching her for a moment, he sighed. "What were you thinking about?"

"Everything," she said, skillfully admitting nothing.

"About this morning?"

Holding her eyes on the water before her, she shook her head. "I don't- I shouldn't," she corrected herself.

"Are you upset with me?" Her eyes met his in confusion for a moment before he continued. "I know that you don't like me to sleep so close to you."

"Why did you?"

Shrugging his shoulders, he tried to find something to say, something other than the truth. "I hated who I was. I sat beside the fire and all I could think about was that when I was near you, I wasn't the evil I saw in myself." He avoided her eyes as he spoke, settling on the truth. He could never lie to her, not because she would see through it, but because she thought of it the way he did. Lies never solved anything or helped anyone. "I just needed to be close."

"You could have woke me."

"I was afraid," he whispered shamefully. "I saw the look in you eyes last night and I didn't mean to hurt you-"

"I know. You- Richard, you didn't hurt me. I was... Surprised, I think."

"You know how I feel about you."

"Part of the surprise."

"I don't know how you can't see it."

"What?"

"How I can love you."

Looking down to the cloth in her hands, she swallowed. "Don't say that."

"Anything else would be a lie."

Bringing her eyes back to his, she frowned. "You can't love me. I'm a Confessor, no one loves us."

"I do."

"I'll destroy you."

"No," he said at once. His mind was made up, there was nothing she could do to change the way he felt and he wouldn't give up until she accepted it. "You would never hurt me."

"My magic would take away everything that you are. Loving me is a death sentence."

"It's a purpose," he whispered just loud enough for the two of them to share it. "I know you, Kahlan. I know you better than anyone you've ever known. I know that it's hard for you to understand that I'm not afraid, but- I don't fear your magic running through me, Kahlan."

Pushing his shirt into his lap, she gritted her teeth to find her strength. "Then you are a fool." She stumbled to her feet, remaining in the water for a moment as the bottom of her dress fell into the lake. "There is a reason people run away in fear when I approach. I destroy people and if given the chance, I would ruin you."

Coming to his feet, he stepped in close to her. "You've had many chances, Kahlan. You would never- The one thing I am sure of is that you would never hurt me."

Her eyes dropped to his chest at his words, unable to hold his as her heart threatening to leap out of her mouth. "And if I wanted to?"

"It wouldn't change anything."

Sitting down once again, Kahlan closed her eyes. "Sometimes I wish that it would." He didn't move at her words, though she wished that he did. "Sometimes I feel trapped inside of myself."

"I know the feeling."

"Do you?"

Kneeling down, Richard brought himself closer to her. "Maybe not as well as you do." Pulling off his boots, he lifted the legs of his pants and let his feet sink into the cool water. "I know how you feel."

"When you went into that village," she said, hoping to change the subject. "What was going through your mind?"

"I'm not sure I can name one thing. I couldn't see anything other than my anger and each movement brought me- I was glad when I killed one of them."

"Because it dampened the anger?"

"Because it made me feel strong."

"You are strong."

Closing his eyes, he sighed. "I wasn't strong enough to stop myself."

"You didn't know how," she told him softly. "Now you do."

"It doesn't change what I did."

"We can't change the mistakes we've made, but we can learn from them. That's why we remember them so well."

"I remember their faces. Each one of them and not just the ones I murdered- I never wanted to kill anyone, Kahlan."

"I know and you don't- You don't kill most of the men you fight. You give them a chance to-"

"Do you remember what you once told me? I asked you why you would release a man who had tried to kill you and- What you said keeps ringing in my ears."

"That people deserve a second chance?"

"They deserve to become better than what the world made them. The people I have killed, they were not given that chance."

"Yes, they were. They know you in battle; what you stand for and they choose to fight. You standing before them is chance enough. The ones who rush in to attack, they seal their own fates."

"And the men you confess?"

"I am different," she told him softly as she brought herself to the same position he was in, letting the water cool her feet. "I am not a symbol of hope and freedom. I am your servant, prepared to deliver justice to those who try to harm you."

He smiled at the thought, the idea laughable. "You are no one's servant."

"Then what am I?"

Turning his head toward her, he fought the urge to take hold of her hand. "You are the symbol I wish to be. You are the greatness of people and when you are seen in battle, the fear the enemy feels is not of your magic. You are the light that shines down on their darkness, revealing their deepest secrets." Richard looked back to the water, seeing the tears in her eyes. "You are the justice of those who have been harmed."

"I wish I had known you as a young girl." He turned to question her, but the words refused to leave his mouth as their eyes met. "You are the only person I have ever known to see me as anything other than the pawn of the High Council. If you had been one of the wizards we trained with, I think many of us would have- Your words would have saved many lives."

"I'm afraid that whatever wizard is within me, he would not have been the same had I grown up with you." He grinned, his cheeks hot as his mind imagined impossible things. "No learning would have ever taken place with you in the room."

"You underestimate the power of our teachers."

"Even if they had beaten me silly, I would have found it impossible to focus on anything else."

"You would have known what I was," she said in a voice that pained him. "You never would have grown to care for me."

"I would know who you are, Kahlan." Releasing another sigh, he leaned forward and poked the index finger of his right hand into the water. "What was it like? Training with the wizards?"

"Difficult," she chuckled. "We train at different ages, our magic developing in other ways. A wizard is, what's the word, connected, to a specific Confessor. They are our guides; our protectors. I was three when I met mine, Henry; he was ten. He was afraid of me, they all were."

"Why?"

"Most Confessors do not come into their magic until they are five, especially not the way I- I seemed to be ahead of the others."

"How?"

"My magic was- It was different than the others, stronger. I couldn't control it and I..." Looking down she folded her hands. "I used to scare myself. I used to wake up and before I would dress, I'd pray to the spirits to- I was so afraid I was going to hurt someone. Have you ever- The magic within you, the way you feel, the fear you have about hurting someone else- I still feel that to this moment, but as a child, I... I used to believe that there was no greater fear."

"There isn't," he told her softly.

"My wizard used to say that I would never need protection as long as the people continued to fear me. I always envied the life a wizard had. They-" Meeting his eyes, she almost smiled. "You have magic, but people do not run away when they see you coming. You're embraced, have friends, lovers... I always wondered what it would be like if I had been born a wizard, instead." Richard smiled, his teeth showing. "What?"

"You would have been a wonderful wizard, too."

"Things would have been easier," she replied. "Maybe we should switch bodies for a day."

"That would be a sight to see." Holding a smile, he nudged his shoulder against hers. "What happened with your wizard?"

"After my mother died, my father took us away, I didn't see him for many years, not until I was old enough to leave Thandor. When I returned to Aydindril with Dennee, I learned that he had married and had a son... He was surprised I was still alive and I would have asked for his help, but he had offered his services to another Confessor. He died a few months later, after Darken Rahl took over the Midlands."

"I'm sorry."

"That was why I traveled to find you with my sister. Neither of us had a wizard and we were safer together. Most wizards were murdered to keep Darken Rahl in power and I- She was scared to go alone, but I was sure we would make it."

Meeting her eyes, he frowned. "It's not your fault," he said softly.

"I don't think I'll ever believe that." Slouching her shoulders, she looked to the water and sighed. "I know that she didn't die for nothing, but I can't help but feel like it was partly my fault." Bringing her eyes back to his, she gave a half smile. "I didn't know she was pregnant and I keep thinking that if I had, maybe I could have helped her. Maybe hid her somewhere safe... She had a chance for a family-"

"And it's not your fault it was taken from her. You did everything you could to protect her."

"She should have had a wizard at her side."

"What happened to hers?"

"She never had one. By the time her magic came to her grasp, we were in my fathers care. I was allowed to work with her in Thandor, teaching her as well as I could... She was smart and quick, any wizard would have been lucky to train with her."

"I'm sure. She must have succeeded even you," he teased with a smile.

"Maybe, if I had been a better teacher. I- My mother died before I was able to learn much of what I needed. I felt lost for months as the changes began."

"Changes?"

"It grew stronger, at first and then I couldn't- I'm still learning now. The ConDar, I shouldn't be able to do that." The confusion on his face made her smile, always enjoying the way he tried to understand everything about her. "Not every Confessor can bring out that kind of magic, especially without being taught. There is a lot you would have learned had you trained with us."

"In another life, maybe."

"I'd like that."

Grinning, he leaned closer to her, their shoulders lightly touching. "We'd be great friends."

"Of that," she replied with a smile, "I have no doubt. You would have had many friends."

"Not like you."

"Nobody is like me."

Nodding, the Seeker wiggled his feet in the water. "That's true. I wish we had that chance- to have grown up together. Though," he added with a smile, "it feels like I have."

"We grew up in different worlds."

"Maybe, but we found our way here.

Lifting her dress, she moved forward, letting more of her legs submerge in the water. "The water feels nice."

"Can I ask you something?"

"Of course," she answered without hesitation.

He turned at the waist to look at her, almost knowing that if he didn't, she wouldn't answer the question. "This morning, when you woke up and realized you were- That I was holding you, you didn't move away... You brought yourself closer and I know that you- I felt it to, Kahlan."

"I don't see the question."

"If I hadn't awaken, would you have stayed?"

"I don't know, maybe." It was a simple answer, though he knew it was difficult for her to say. She thought about this differently than he did, making it harder for him to know how to respond. Before he could find a thought, she continued. "I shouldn't be so comfortable with you."

"We are not hurting anyone."

"It's dangerous."

Releasing a sigh, he nodded. "Everything that we do is dangerous."

"I cannot change what I am."

"I would never ask you to," he said instantly.

She licked her lips, trying to buy herself a moment to think. Her head was spinning and her heart racing, the same as it was before, only now he sat beside her, hunger in his eyes. "I may have remained for a few more moments."

He nodded and looked away, doing his best to keep her from feeling pushed on the subject. "Thank you."

"For what?"

"Answering. I know it couldn't have been easy."

"We should get back." Neither moved at her words, making them share a smile. "Zedd is going to come after us."

"I don't think he will be angry at us for sitting here. We aren't doing anything wrong."

"Not physically," she whispered. His head snapped in her direction, surprisingly meeting her eyes. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have-"

"No," he replied softly, still stunned. "It's alright, I know what you mean. Our thoughts can't get us into trouble."

Giving him a smile that set his skin on fire, she shrugged. "That depends on the thought."

"And keeping it hidden."

She moved quickly, lifting her dress as she climbed onto his lap, her knees on either side of his thighs. "From everyone else." Taking his face in her hands, she leaned forward and kissed him.

There was something about the moment, something that whispered to her that it was the end. This would be the only chance she had to give into her desires and though they could do nothing more, she wasn't willing to let it slip by. He returned her kiss in full, his arms circling her at once. There was a hunger in their motions, both clinging to the other as they tried to remove the space between them. Kahlan slid her hands over his back, thriving on the feel of his skin. His muscles flexed beneath her touch, fueling the fire within her, pushing her farther than expected.

The need to feel more of his skin began to overwhelm her and from the way he pawed at her dress, she knew he had the same urgency. Before she could stop herself, she pulled on his hands and broke their kiss, keeping her face close to his while they both gasped for their next breath. Bringing his fingers to the front of her dress, she laid them over the laces and encouraged him to pull. He hesitated for a moment, his eyes trying to focus on hers to be sure it was what she wanted him to do, but she was so close, she couldn't see anything other than the passion within him mirroring back. Her fingers circled his, helping him to grab the strings as she teased his lips with hers. Moving slowly, he pulled back his hands, the dress loosening as their mouths returned to claiming the other.

She wasn't wearing her corset, a fact he was thrilled to learn as his hands circled her shoulders. Their kiss never broke as her dress fell down her arms, their bodies parting for a moment as she pulled her arms free. The instant her hands came back to his face, he tightened his arms around her, bringing her chest to flatten against his, a soft moan of content leaving both of their throats at the feeling.

She couldn't come close enough, no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't feel enough of her. His mind spun with the possibilities, the fantasies he had had and it was impossible for him not to respond. His hands dropped to her hips and jerked her forward, bucking upward at just the right moment. Her head pulled back, a gasp leaving her lips as her own body replied to his with a hard rock, followed by a roll. She moved rapidly, taking her cue from him as he nudged her hips with his fingers. His kisses grew sloppy, his breathing heavy and in a swift action, he brought her to the ground and laid over her.

Kahlan let out a sound of surprise, one that was cut off as he brought his lips back to hers. His hands slid down her sides, instinctively trying to rid her dress from his path, needing her at once. Trailing his mouth down her neck, he tried to focus on his actions, wanting to be sure she was given everything and more. He paused as her hands came to his, his head lifting from the crook of her neck to look down upon her. She had her eyes closed, lips parted and her cheeks were flushed. She was always becoming more beautiful at every moment and when she opened her eyes, his heart stopped. The blue he adored was gone, leaving a darkness that was just as beautiful and called to him all the same.

"Richard, I can't..."

He could hear the sorrow in her voice, the disappointment and shame, each an emotion he hated her to feel. Bringing his right hand to her cheek, he nodded, bringing his face closer to hers for a breath. "I know."

"I'm sorry." Her words shook, matching her body beneath him.

Nudging his nose and forehead against hers, he smiled. "Don't be. I'd do this all day."

A smile came to her lips, unstoppable as she shook her head. "You're a strange man."

"I know, but we can't change that."

Stoking her fingers through his hair, she grinned. "I wouldn't want to."

Closing his eyes, he kissed her once more and then rapidly moved off of her. His body was on fire, desire and need at its height. Rubbing his hand over himself, he sucked in a gasp of air and looked away in embarrassment. His pants were tight and the urge to jump into he water was strong, but he couldn't stand to be away from her. To his surprise, she inched to his side and slowly crawled back onto his lap.

Unsure as to what to do, she used his eyes as a guide and lowered her hands between them. Unlacing his pants, she took in a slow breath and slowly reached inside, her fingers wrapping around him gently. His breath caught in his throat at her touch, his body thriving. Leaning forward he kissed her, changing the speed of her hand to his benefit. His release came with a whisper of her name against her lips. She lived off of his breathing, her eyes closed as his forehead rested against hers, his fingers digging into her legs.

When his breathing slowed, she moved her hand, lowering him back to the ground. Their eyes met, his just as dark as hers and both breathing as though they had just gone through battle. Without a word, she released him. Darting her eyes to her hand, she examined the liquid that covered the top, trying to ignore the way his body had spasm to release it. Swallowing the lump in her throat, she bit down on her bottom lip and pushed the thoughts from her mind. His hand took hold of hers and brought it to him, wiping the top with his other.

"I'm sorry, I should have warned you."

She seemed dazed, her eyes still on her hand as though it was still covered in him. "It's alright... I-"

"I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."

Meeting his eyes, she blinked away the shock. "No- I, I don't know. I'm sorry, I'm just... I can't believe I did that."

"Are you alright?"

"Fine, I-... Are you?"

He smiled, "Yes."

Moving off of him, she pushed her arms back through the sleeves of her dress and began relacing, doing it quickly to keep her mind busy. "We should get back, they're going to wonder what happened to us."

She had pulled on her boots with lightning speed, coming to her feet before he could stop her. When he had retied his pants and looked up, she was already walking through the trees, disappearing within them as he watched in confusion.

Kahlan was sitting beside Zedd when he returned to their campsite, the two of them looking over a map as the wizard grumbled something about walking too far from a tavern that had his favorite food. The Mother Confessor whispered something about the fate of the world and Richard couldn't help but smile at the sound of her voice. He had found it impossible to move after she walked away, feeling guilty for having more than she could and he would never forget the look in her eyes as she began to redress. It was understandable that she would be confused as to what happened, but there had been something more and he feared it was disappointment. She deserved more.

Sitting down on his bed roll, he laid back and stared up at the blue sky, a set of clouds floating by to distract him from his thoughts. Cara was watching him, he could feel her knowing eyes. She wouldn't say anything in front of the others, but when they were alone, she would tell him what he didn't want to hear. To everyone else, the thought of him and Kahlan was mute, a mistake and if he needed to be 'taken care of', he should go to Cara, who, as a Mord'Sith, was used to being in service to the Lord Rahl. She would give him that look she had, the annoyed one with her eyebrows furrowed and lips parted, one he was sure she only gave him.

Turning his head, he looked at her and grinned, doing his best to act normal. "I'm surprised to see you still sitting there," he commented to her.

"I went for a walk," she replied with a sly grin. "The lake was too warm."

His heart stopped and her smile widened, pleased to have embarrassed him. "The sun has no mercy today."

"I didn't see a need for mercy."

"You don't see any need for mercy."

"Weakness."

Shaking his head, he sat up and began to move toward her, suddenly wanting her advice. "What did you see?"

"The Mother Confessor in your lap." She answered with a grin, one that was surprisingly kind. "Were you able to-"

"What do you know about Rada'Hans?" The question surprised them both, but the Seeker was in another mindset, his thoughts on her needs alone. "There has to be some way."

"The Rada'Han is the only way, but you would never allow her to wear one."

"She shouldn't have to," he replied at once. "Her magic is part of her and should be released, she should be free."

"She cannot be, not with you."

A growl of frustration left him, bringing the others eyes to him. "It isn't fair."

"We will be moving on after lunch," Zedd informed him with a smile. He didn't seem to notice as Kahlan met his grandson's eyes and shifted beside him. "I will make us some soup!"

The Mother Confessor inched back, allowing the older man to move past her, hurrying away to begin their lunch. Richard took the opportunity to sit beside her, hoping that she wouldn't rush away. She remained still as he settled down, her eyes firmly on the fire ahead of her. He wanted to talk about what they had done, but she wasn't sure she would be able to. It was difficult for her to even think about what she had done, how close she had come to demanding that he take her and what was the worst of it all, she still felt the same desires. Her body heated with his next to her, her muscles tightening as though she was in his arms and her breath refused to come, lost in her lungs while she waited for him to break the silence.

"You found a safe city for me to travel through?"

"We believe so."

"Are you alright?"

Slouching her shoulders, she looked to the ground. "I don't know," she replied honestly.

"I never meant to upset you."

"I kissed you, remember? Anything I am feeling is because of me." He started to speak, to tell her that it wasn't her fault, but as though she could read his thoughts, she brought her eyes to his. "I knew better. I made this harder because I- I was weak and I'm sorry for pulling you into my mess."

"I jumped in," he said instantly. "Kahlan, this isn't on you, not alone. I know that it's hard for you, especially after what we did, but it was just as much me as it was you. I wanted to be with you, I wanted it just as much. Kahlan, I understand the frustration you feel, I match it at all times."

"How can you?" she questioned in a voice that was almost painful. "You do not have to be afraid that the instant you touch me, you will lose control and destroy everything that matters. This, you sitting beside me, it's hard. This, something so simple, is more difficult than imaginable and I know that it's silly, but even in a moment like this, I feel like I could ruin you. By the lake, I couldn't get my body to stop screaming for yours and then I couldn't stop myself from doing... I'm ashamed for what I did." He stared at her in silence, unsure as to everything she meant with her words. "I was weak and I am sorry."

"You are far from weak."

"No, I'm not."

Taking hold of her hand, he intertwined their fingers, watching the way hers fit perfectly within his. "You have more strength than anyone I know. What we did by the lake, Kahlan that is more proof. I saw the desire in your eyes, the hunger and yet you- It was not you who should be ashamed, it's me. I should have stopped you, but I didn't. I didn't want to. I wanted you more than my next breath and in that moment, your hand wrapped around me... I never wanted you to stop."

"Zedd will be back soon, I should find more firewood so he can begin the soup."

"Please don't let this end th-"

"If I do not leave right now, I'm afraid one of us is going to say something we shouldn't."

He watched her walk into the forest, leaving him with his thoughts, Cara watching intensely.

"Keep Zedd from coming after us," he instructed the blonde as he came to his feet. His mind was full and spinning, a single thought remaining as he rushed after the Mother Confessor.

She hadn't gone very far into the trees, almost a relief to him as he closed the distance between them. Grabbing her arm, he spun her around, meeting her eyes with a panicked expression.

"What's wrong?"

Shaking his head, he took a small step back and licked his lips. "Nothing. I- Kahlan, I'm going to-"

He cut himself of by leaning forward and connecting their lips, knowing that she wouldn't be quick enough to stop him from wrapping his arms around her. To his surprise, she didn't attempt to pull away, instead, she pushed into his embrace, soaking in his warmth as though it was the first time she's felt it. He couldn't keep his hands still, the memory of the feel of her skin hovering above him, quietly whispering for him to experience it again. Walking her backward, he brought her back to a thick, redwood tree and pressed her against it. Lifting her feet from the ground, he wrapped them around his waist, needing her closer and instantly. A soft moan escaped her at the contact, his slight roll of his hips being more pleasurable than she anticipated.

Her body burned for him, ready for his and desperate in need. He was careful, moving slowly to keep her from pushing him away, if they stopped now, he wouldn't survive. He needed her to breathe, to move and holding her in his arms was enough to rid him of anything and everything else. With a heated moan, she tightened her legs around his waist and bucked forward, almost screaming his name as he reached between them to give her the attention she needed. Her head flew back into the bark of the tree, her eyes squeezed shut and lips parted as she panted. His name rolled off of her tongue, rapidly climbing with each stroke of his fingers. With a flare of warning, she raked her nails down his shoulders, nearly tearing through the fabric of his shirt.

Pulling back his hand, he replaced it with his knee, pushing forward until she was rocking against it. His mouth danced over her chest, his tongue sneaking a taste that was instantly stored in his memory. His actions came to a sudden stop as she went rigged, her body tensing in a way that captured his attention and worry. Pulling back his head, he brought his eyes to her face, his right hand coming to her cheek in concern. When he eyes opened, he nearly gasped, the darkness covering them completely and as he leaned forward, drawn to their beauty, she closed them and groaned.

Moving quickly, he pulled her from the tree and lowered her to the ground, trying to find words as she blinked loose a set of tears and wiped the flow of blood that leaked out of the right side of her nose. She was shaking, so much so that he could see it in every movement, her heart beating hard enough for him to not only hear it, but feel it as well. Kneeling down at her side, he tried to help her, needing to do something, but she wouldn't allow it. Using all of her strength, she pushed him backward and then covered her mouth to muffle a cry.

He didn't understand it at all. She was free, she could release her magic, but she didn't. His mind quieted at once, appearing to have thought too soon as it witnessed the most beautiful view.

Kahlan's back arched forward, her fingers digging into the dirt as she sucked in a breath, the air around them shifting powerfully as it knocked him back. He almost missed the rest as he struggled to sit back up, bringing his eyes back to her just in time to see her nearly lift from the ground as her body gave in completely and not only release its magic, but reach it's height as well.

Zedd and Cara were next to them in a matter of seconds, seeing the last of it, the moment her body fell back onto the cool grass. The Seeker stared at her in amazement, wonder and adoration, wishing he had hurried to her side and grabbed hold of her; claiming himself as hers.

"Have you lost your minds?!" the wizard shouted as he came to Kahlan's side. Her nose was still bleeding and from the expression on her face, he was sure she was dizzy and seconds away from losing consciousness.

He was right. A moment after the older man knelt down, she was gone.

"I don't understand-"

"Of course not," the wizard snapped at his grandson. He had warned him time and time again and he couldn't express his disappointed anger enough. "You must listen when I tell you that it can never be. Do you understand me? She could have damaged herself beyond repair, her body is not made to hold back the magnitude of the magic in passion. The strength of it is wild and dangerous, far more so than anything else. It is painful and she must let it free. Spirits Richard, do you have any idea how much pain she would have experienced while holding it in?"

"No- Zedd, she didn't say anything."

Shaking his head, the wizard frowned. "You must never do this again. If she wakes up, there could be more consequences."

"What?"

Releasing a sigh, Zedd turned to face the young man. "She may not be able to release her magic again for some time. There is also the chance that she will not be able to hold it in again and we both know how dangerous that will be. How could you have been so foolish?"

"I love her," he stated factually. "I would never hurt her and I know- I wanted to show her how I feel."

"The two of you can never experience the feelings you have for the other."

Bringing his eyes back to the woman sleeping before them, he sighed. "I never wanted to hurt her."

"I know," his friend whispered.

"I can't stop loving her, Zedd."

"You don't have to stop loving her, but you have to let her go."

Swallowing, he brought his eyes to the other man. "How"

"That is a question only you can answer."

When Kahlan awoke, she remained quiet, embarrassed and upset, her magic locked inside of her. Richard kept his distance, keeping quiet and avoiding her at every turn. It was frustrating to both of them, but neither could change it. They walked on opposite sides of their friends, one trying to keep from crying, while the other growled softly in anger.

Her mind was focused on the feel of his mouth, hot on her skin and his hands on every inch of her body. She felt as though she was on fire and the wind that breezed by did nothing to help, the contact making her shiver in need. She couldn't feel her magic and it was impossible for her mind to ignore its desires. It was foolish, of course, but with each moment, the possibility grew within. Her magic may return at any moment and with her luck, it would be the instant she jumped into his arms. He would be destroyed and she would never be able to live with herself. She could hear him breathing across from her, his hand on the sword for a boost in anger. This was all her fault.

Zedd stepped closer with a sad smile, hoping to comfort her as she looked up. The attempt failed. "I'm sorry, dear one."

"Me too," she whispered shamefully.

The wizard brought his eyes back to the road ahead and sighed, "I cannot imagine how hard this is for the two of you, but you must understand-"

"I understand," she interrupted quietly. "I'm a danger to him, more so now than ever before. I will not allow myself to hurt him."

"I do not believe that you would. Kahlan, this situation is far greater than we thought. If the two of you were to lose yourself within another moment-"

Kahlan stopped and turned toward him, stepping close to keep her words between them alone. "There will not be another moment between us, not in the way we both desire and the instant we have sealed the rifts, I will return home and take a mate."

"Kahlan," the older man started before realizing she wasn't finished.

"I cannot continue on like this, especially now and if the time comes and I feel myself becoming a danger, I will leave and take a mate before my mind has the option to think on the matter. I will not destroy him, we cannot lose the Seeker."

Zedd frowned at the young woman, his heart aching at the pain in her eyes. "I am sorry that it has come to this."

Blinking out a small set of tears, the Mother Confessor swallowed. "I wish I could stop loving him. I wish that it didn't hurt so much."

"I know, dear one. Give it some time, you will see that it will be alright."

Shaking her head, she looked ahead to where the others were walking. "I'm in love with him, Zedd. It will never be alright." Bringing her eyes back to him, she shrugged. "I was foolish and now I must endure everything that comes from it. Was it so wrong to want it?" she questioned after a moment. "I was going to stop him, but I thought- I hoped that it would bring us something out of it, I hoped that I would have a piece of him with me. I hate that it was wrong to hope for it."

The wizard pulled her into his arms at once, hugging her tightly as she let go of her tears. "I'm sorry, Kahlan."

"I need you to promise me something," she said into his chest. "When the time comes for me to take a mate, I need you to make it alright."

He knew what she was asking, what she wanted him to do and the thought, as unbearable as it was, he knew it was nothing compared to how she felt. "The spell does not work on everyone, Kahlan."

"I must try. If I am to do this, I cannot have him in my heart."

"If the time comes, I will do what I can."

Nodding, Kahlan forced a small smile and wiped her cheeks free of the tears. "Thank you."

"He will fight your decision."

"I am the Mother Confessor," she stated in a voice that revealed as much. "He has no say in the matter of my duties."

"No, but it will not keep him from voicing his protests."

Lowering her voice, she looked over to the others, who had stopped and turned toward them. "Then he must never know."

"You cannot expect to keep this from him. He knows you, he will see-"

"I have no other choice, Zedd. By taking another, I can set Richard free. He may not understand it now, but in time... It will not be long before he starts a family of his own and when that happens, he will be grateful."

"I do not believe it will be so soon. I've known Richard all of his life, he has never cared for a woman the way he does you."

"He doesn't care for me, Zedd. He can't."

"That doesn't change the fact, Kahlan. Confessor or not, Richard loves you and it will take time for that to change."

Swallowing the man's words, she blinked. "Then I must aid time." Looking at the older man, Kahlan frowned. "Forgive me, Zedd."

"There is nothing to forgive dear one. It is not your fault."

"I have broken my promise to you."

Nodding, the older man smiled weakly. "It was not your intention."

"No, but I-"

"It's alright, Kahlan. I understand the power of emotions."

She avoided Richard's eyes as she looked over to the others, who were waiting patiently. "We should keep moving, I don't want to slow us down."

"Kahlan," Zedd said in a voice that made her blood run cold. "We know what this will do to him and if he keeps feeding off of the sword-"

"We will lose him. I don't know how to prevent it, Zedd. All I can think of is what I mustn't do." Staring into the wizard's eyes, she swallowed. "I know Richard, he will not allow the anger to consume him again in that way, he doesn't want to hurt anyone."

"When it comes to you, he will do anything and I fear that this will not aid his control. He will use it to take the strength of it out of his blood, he will-"

"I will stop him."

"How?"

"I'm not sure, but I will. Zedd, I will protect him, even from himself."

She began walking without another word and without hesitation, passing the others just slowly enough for them both to catch glimpse of her tears. Richard had released the sword, a surprise to them all, but he remained quiet, holding back a secret kept between him and the metal at his side.

The Sword whispered to him at all times, talking to him, warning him and from the beginning, it started with her. It told him of the dangers, a subtle sentence that he couldn't understand and grew stronger with his feelings, telling him that it wasn't him alone it would hurt. Now, it whispered of pain, somehow feeling within her an amount a weapon could not cause. It told him to be careful, that she was close to breaking and one small move from them could end her. The sword sent a light shock through him as the Mother Confessor passed, a final whisper on the matter, telling him to act.

Rushing to her side, he matched her speed and held himself a short distance next to her, being sure to give her space to breathe. The silence was loud around them, but it wasn't deafening. They felt comfortable, the presence of the other being enough to keep them on the edge of the relationship.

Turning his head, he watched her blink through her tears and he refused to go on this way any longer. "I'm sorry, Kahlan."

"Don't be," she said calmer than she had expected the words to be released. "This is not your fault."

"It's not yours either," he said quickly, his hand going back to the hilt of the sword that hissed through him. "If you had told me the dangers, it may not have changed anything."

His words surprised her, a thought she had never had. "Yes, it would-"

"This is it, this is why it's as hard as it is. Kahlan, listen to me. Telling me that when we made love you would destroy me is only a small factor. You're a beautiful woman, smart and kind, your captivating and every piece of you is attractive. Just because there is a risk, that doesn't mean that it's not worth it. The only thing that would have been different, Kahlan my mind would have fought just a little bit harder as I imagined myself with you."

"I'm sorry."

"You should be," he snapped before jerking his hand away from the sword. "But you're not sorry for what you need to be."

"And what is that?"

"You shouldn't be sorry that I care about you, you should be sorry for believing it would hurt you alone." Brushing his fingers back through his hair, he sighed. "It's not just you who feels this way."

"I know and I will never be able to take back my mistake. Richard, I grew up in a place where everyone rushed from my path and I know that I shouldn't have held onto your friendship, that I should have told you, but I couldn't help but believe that you didn't care about me. I-" Coming to a stop, she turned to face him, prepared to say something she had never spoken aloud. "For months, I was excited. You would sit next to me, hand me things and never once did I see fear in your eyes and I mistakenly let it go on because I thought that somewhere within you, you were like everyone else. I am me, I am a Confessor and how could you care about me? When I started to have feelings for you, I- I started to see it differently, but again, I made a mistake and told myself that it was what I wanted to see because I loved you so much and now... Because I was foolish, I have brought you pain and that is what I am sorry for. I was to protect you and I failed."

He nearly laughed, his face holding back as a smile pulled on his lips. "Even now... You don't realize it, do you?"

Confused, she tilted her head. "What?"

"Everything about you, everything you say, it only makes me love you more. You say these things that are- They only make me care about you even more. Kahlan, I can't help it. You didn't fail in protecting me."

"We have to get moving, we are running out of time."

He didn't stop her as she walked away, not knowing what to do to change her mind. From the way she walked, he knew something was on her mind, something important and though he wished she tell him, he couldn't bring himself to push. He wanted to know what was going on in her mind, how she felt and if her magic was on edge. When he looked into her eyes, he saw nothing like before and he almost missed the warning from the sword.


	2. Chapter 2

They rarely spoke, both avoiding the other at all cost, but when the wizard awoke the next night, his heart broke at the sight before him. Sometime after he fell asleep, the couple had moved closer to each other and were now sleeping side by side. They were facing the other, their bodies so close he was sure they could feel the warmth and he couldn't help but notice the expression on their faces. They were calm and relaxed, their bodies matching completely and the hint of the smile that tugged on their lips made him wish there was something more he could do.

He knew the couple was struggling, but he couldn't keep himself from wondering if this was a mercy. If they had the life they dreamed of, one with each other, they would be destroyed. Richard would lose his soul and Kahlan would kill herself just to release him, resulting in a far worse fate. Shaking his head, the older man tried to rid his mind of the thoughts and begin his watch, nodding to the Mord'Sith who was leaning against one of the trees. He wondered if she saw anything, if she could tell him how their friends arrived in their new position and who had made the first move. Kahlan let out a soft moan, one that called everyone's attention, but it didn't wake them. Her body shook and her head jerked, her mind trapped in a nightmare. Richard responded instantly, his body inching to hers until she was in his arms and she went willingly, quieting down at once.

The others waited for her to open her eyes and hurry away, the way she had done many times during one of their watches, but she didn't. To their surprise, she pulled herself closer as though it was the only way to live and then released a long breath. It was there she felt safe, but it could not go on. In four days they would be close enough to Aydindril for a detour and once she was there, taking a mate would be priority. The council had had perfect timing in the matter, having sent word only days after she had come to the decision and having the order made it easier. She didn't want to, of course, but when she told the man beside her, it would be because she was ordered to and not to destroy herself in his eyes.

She believed that once she took a mate, Richard would lose interest and they could continue on, but she knew better. This would destroy everything they had built, their friendship included and though it pained her more than she thought possible, it was worth his existence. When morning came, she was to tell him of her plans and accept any consequences her words may have. Tonight, she reasoned with herself, was the last one to spend as she wanted, beside him.

Richard was the last to wake up, rubbing his face with his hands before fully opening his eyes. He could smell her on him, the honey and lavender she always seemed to smell of, lingering from their close night. He tried not to show his disappointment as he sat forward, wishing he was able to roll over and watch her sleep. Their eyes met briefly as he crossed his legs, both darting them away as though it burned. This was the moment she had been dreading and if the others hadn't been with them, she wasn't sure she would be able to do it.

"We will be passing Aydindril," she mentioned casually. "I will need to stay for a few days."

Richard's head snapped in her direction and gave no effort to hide his emotions. His hand now held the hold of his sword and the anger within was more than visible. She knew he would piece it together, he always did, but she had hoped it would take him a few moments longer.

"You're just going to take some man to your bed?!" he half shouted as he came to his feet. He was fighting his own words, the wrath of the sword, but it was no use. "You are going to force a man to lay above you?"

To everyone's surprise, Kahlan remained still, her eyes locked on his. "He will be confessed," she replied quietly. "He will do anything I ask him to."

"So would I!"

She swallowed and came to her feet, the straps of her travel pack gripped tightly in her hands. "But I cannot have you."

"Liar," he spat instantly. "You can have anything you want."

Nodding, she blinked back her tears, refusing to let him see. "Except for you. Pack your things, we need to get moving."

He began instantly, his mind never questioning anything she said to him. The sword hissed at him, urging him to stop and make her listen, but he didn't pay any attention.

When he finished, he began walking after her, holding his eyes on her back with each step. She was beautiful, every inch of her and the way she walked, the grace and strength... He hated the thought of anyone else seeing it too. He could imagine her with another man, any man and it pained him to think that he would experience a piece of her that he would never be able to. He wanted to hear his name on her lips while her nails dug into his skin, a quiet direction given in the heat of passion that would send her higher and cause her breath to stop as she fell.

Pushing the thought from his mind, he continued after her in the hopes that in the middle of one of his steps, he would figure it all out. There had to be a way, he told himself silently. If not to have her for himself, then to keep her from anyone else.

'She wants it,' his mind whispered. 'She is the Mother Confessor, she could have declined the order. No one gives her orders. She wants him, anyone.' His pace began to slow with each thought, his mind spinning in every direction. 'Take her,' it urged him softly. 'She has no magic. No one will get hurt. Take her. Now.' Licking his lips, he choked back the urge to call her name and bring her to a stop. If she slowed now, he could have her pinned against a tree before she could blink. 'Do it. Feel her against you. She's never been with a man before,' his mind snickered. 'Imagine what you can give her.'

"Nothing," he told himself aloud. "I have nothing she needs."

'Wants and needs are not the same thing.'

"Hers are," he reasoned. "She wants what the world needs her to do."

'She wants a man to give her a child.'

"Not me."

"Richard?" Zedd asked as he turned around. "Are you alright?"

"Fine," he lied at once. "Thinking."

"Out loud?"

"It's important." Giving a swift smile, he shrugged. "I didn't realize I was speaking."

He was beside him now, both walking slow in comparison to the women ahead of them. "I know this is difficult for you," Zedd said as he tried to ease the younger man's mind. "This did not come easily to her either."

"But she is going to do it."

"She must. Richard, she is the last Confessor and who knows how long she will live? She must bare a child, many children to ensure the survival of her kind. It may be difficult, but this is the way it must be, the way it has always been. As Mother Confessor- We both know Kahlan; she would do anything for her people to keep them safe. She cares more about them than herself, she will not hesitate to do what she must to aid them."

"She doesn't need to- I'll keep her safe, Zedd. She doesn't need to-"

"She will not take you as her mate, Richard. She loves you. She would never risk everything you are for a night with you." Seeing the expression on his grandson's face, the wizard sighed. "It's not that she believes it would not be worth it, I believe the thought remains in her mind, even now, but because after that one night, the moment her magic released, you would be gone and she would never feel your love again."

"I would still love her."

"Not freely. When a Confessor takes a mate, there is no love, not for her. She cannot take it from you, not something so important."

"She wouldn't take it," he replied softly. "I'd give it to her. Whoever he is, the man she chooses, why is it so different for her to do this to him and not me? I am willing where he is forced."

"She will not choose at random from the street, Richard. She is too kind for that. The man she chooses, we know, he will be in need of a second chance and by giving her a child, raising her, it will be given to him."

"She deserves more," he whispered into the wind.

"Yes, but it is all she can have. She will not take a man out of love or spite, she will take one who will learn from his time with her and when he is released, he will be better for it."

Shaking his head, Richard pushed his fingers through his hair, moving the stray strands out of his eyes. "I don't want her to do this."

"None of us do, but it is not our choice. We cannot fully understand as she does and it is not our opinions she needs, it's-"

"Her friends."

"Talk to her," he encouraged softly, his eyes coming to the sword. "Tonight, leave that with me, anger will not help either of you."

"It never does."

Kahlan was laying on her bedroll in silence, listening to the sounds of the forest that had become entirely comforting. Staring up, she tried to envision the parts of the sky that were hidden by the tree branches. It was lighter than usual around them, the moon seeming to be generous and in a good mood. The last time she had spent so long looking up at the sky, she had been laying beside Richard, pointing up to show him her favorite one, a single star that was only visible for a few weeks of the year. She smiled as she remembered his response, the way he chuckled and told her that it couldn't have been her favorite because he had claimed it years before. After a short, playful fight, he was laying nearly above her with his lips covering hers, a battle neither hated to lose.

She could almost taste him as she ran her tongue over her lips. He had eaten a honey biscuit with a handful of berries and she soaked in the flavor as his tongue danced with hers. Shaking the thought from her mind, she swallowed and closed her eyes, doing her best not to imagine him against her. She wanted nothing more.

"What are you thinking about?"

She didn't open her eyes as he settled down beside her, partly afraid that she would melt when she saw him. "Impossible things."

"Snow in the summer time?"

Grinning, she turned her head in his direction. "That's not impossible. A wizard can do anything."

"Zedd sharing his food? That must be it," he answered himself swiftly. "I agree, it is impossible."

"He does enjoy his food." Bringing her eyes back to the sky, she let her smile falter. "I wasn't thinking about that, though."

"What-"

"I was thinking about that night we stayed up talking about the stars."

"While Zedd snored," he added softly.

"Mmmhmm."

"Would it be alright if I asked you something?"

"If it's alright if I do not answer."

"What will it be like?"

She didn't have to ask him what he was talking about, she knew very well. "I don't know," she answered softly. "I was a child when I was in the palace at the time a Confessor took a mate. I don't remember very much about it, but I assume I- I can only imagine what it will be like."

"What do you remember?"

"A few things. Carol was sixteen, excited and I remember the way the other Confessors spoke to her, like it was all a big secret. Whispers were all over the palace, rumors on who she had chosen and why... The day it was to happen, my mother brought me with her to one of her confessions. She said that I had plenty of time to learn what would happen to me." Turning her head toward him, she met his eyes. "I never thought I would live this long."

He could feel his heart pounding in his throat, a part of him wanting to ask more questions, while the other wanted to show her what to expect. He wasn't sure either of them were the right thing to do. "What about now?"

She gave a soft laugh as she shook her head. "I don't think you're going to let me die in the next day."

"Never," he replied before he could stop himself.

Returning her eyes to the sky, she frowned. "It's been done this way since the beginning of time, but I can't help but wonder if any of them ever felt the way I do. I want so badly to be able to talk to one of them, anyone and ask everything I've always wondered, but... If I do this, I won't be alone anymore." She was quiet for a moment and he could see her mind spinning, trying to figure things out. "It's selfish of me to say that, isn't it?" He said nothing, though she didn't give him very long to reply. "I've always wanted children, but before it was for different reason and now... I keep thinking that if I am the last Confessor, what will become of us? I don't want us to be forgotten."

"No one will ever forget you, any of you. You have done too much for your people."

"Not enough," she said quietly. "You," she added as she looked over to him, "people will remember you."

"Because I am the brother of Darken Rahl."

"Because you saved everyone. You're the Seeker; the most important one. It is because of you, the world continues on and when you seal the rifts-"

"The world will know I did it with you at my side."

"They will know they are safe with you."

"No more than they are with you."

Blinking, she stared up at the stars. "That is where it all changes. My magic is not something people think lightly of. I am dangerous and they know it. No matter how hard I try to protect them, there is always a chance I will become what they fear. It's not uncommon for Confessors to turn on their people or have different views. When I went to find another for you, Lara... Even Confessors crave more power."

"You don't," he said factually. "You'd never do anything like that."

"I am not sure that I wouldn't. There are times when I- When I'm in the ConDar, the way it feels- The strength of it... I feel invincible and there are times, more than I can admit, when I wish I could stay that way. The instincts to become more, to live, they are heightened and I don't care who I hurt if I survive. There is a darkness within me and I think the people can see it."

"I don't."

"You're not looking."

"Not anymore," he admitted softly. "Kahlan, before- When I first met you, I tried so hard to find something wrong with you, a part that you didn't want anyone to know you had..." She looked at him in confusion, partly glad for his admission. "I looked for months and found nothing."

Kahlan rolled onto her side and brought her right hand to his cheek. The warmth shot through them, calming the fierce beat of their hearts. "I don't know how you exist."

"Me either," he teased through a whisper. He was watching her carefully, seeing the same dilemma in her eyes that he felt within himself. It shouldn't have surprised him, but it did. Sometime during the day, he had made himself believe that she no longer cared for him, at least, not in the way he wanted her to. "I'm sorry that you have to do it," he managed to say after a long moment.

Nodding, she pulled back her hand and sighed, "Me too." Returning to her back, Kahlan closed her eyes. "I keep wondering about Dennee and how she felt about this. She- She never told me that she was considering taking a mate."

"Would it have changed anything?"

"No," she replied instantly. "But things were different then. I think- I can't help but want to believe that she didn't tell me because she knew that I would do the same to keep her from doing it alone. She probably spent months thinking; planning it all. There were only a few of us left and she... You would have liked her," she said suddenly. "In a lot of ways, she was like you."

"From the time I spent with her, she was like you." His hand was suddenly laying on her stomach, feeling her every breath. "She loved you, Kahlan and she wouldn't blame you for what happened."

"No," she agreed as she turned her head and looked into his eyes. "But it doesn't mean it wasn't my fault." Licking her lips, she fought the urge to run away. She could never explain what he did to her, the way he always managed to pull her secrets out of her mouth and into the air. "She was stronger than me. I am the one who should have died, not her."

"You can't believe that."

Holding his gaze, she remained still and hoped that at any moment she would awaken and see that this was a dream. "This wouldn't be hard for her."

"That doesn't mean that it should be her here instead of you. This shouldn't be easy for anyone and I am certain that if Dennee were here, she would be feeling the same way."

"You think she'd be afraid of destroying you, too?"

Richard smiled widely, his hand slowly moving higher in her stomach. "No, she'd be pacing while she tried to think about what you would do."

"And what would you be doing?"

"Eating with Zedd," he teased softly. "I don't know, I think I would be trying to help her. This would be when I knew she needed me."

Turning to face him once again, she brought her hand to his chest. "And if I needed something more?"

Her face was close to his and with a single move, he could connect their lips and from the look in her eyes and sound of her voice, he knew that she wanted him to. She was testing him, he thought to himself quickly. Shutting off his mind, he held still and and gave a small smile. "I'm in love with your sister," he answered after what felt to he an eternity, keeping the game going for just another minute. If it had been Dennee before him, he knew that his heart wouldn't be pressed against his skin and beating so fast that he thought he would throw it up onto her.

"You don't know her," she said at once. If she was to be her sister, she knew that he never would have spent time with her, his feelings never growing and a part of her was curious as to where this would lead them.

"Don't I?"

"No. She's dead."

"She's right here," he told her.

Shaking her head, she raised an eyebrow the way she did when she was about to do something unexpected. "I can take you," she said in a voice that made his body jerk beside her. "I have no feelings for you, it would mean nothing to watch you become my slave."

"If it would please you."

"You couldn't stop me," she continued as though he hadn't spoken. She felt brave without her magic; without the tingling in her fingertips each time she touched him. "No one could."

"I wouldn't want them to."

His words surprised her, almost painfully as she reminded herself that they were pretending she was her sister. "Why not?"

"Because you shouldn't know the feeling of being with a stranger."

Her body quaked with his words as she held his eyes. He meant every word and there was no fear in his eyes. She wondered, for a moment, what it would be like to have a stranger enter her bedroom and empty himself within her, then she imagined the man before her. His words made sense to her and in an instant, she spoke. "Touch me."

"No," he said before she could take in a breath. When he saw the hurt and confusion on her face, he licked his lips and hurried to continue. "Not until you're you again." She remained still and said nothing, watching him as though we expected him to change his mind. "End the game and I'm yours."

"Richard?" She hadn't meant it as a question, more like a declaration that she had done what he asked, but as herself once more, she felt lost and afraid.

"What do you want me to do?" he asked in a hushed tone.

Her breathing had increased and she fought her mind at every turn, but she had said it before and they both knew that if she didn't say it again, they would roll over and go to sleep. Swallowing, she let her eyes trace his lips and suddenly she spoke, "Touch me."

His hand moved slowly over her side, coming to her back to draw her closer. It was difficult for him to move without the rush he felt inside, but he was almost certain that she would change her mind at any moment. He wanted to kiss her, but he didn't want it to spark something in her mind and bring her to stop him. From the way she looked at him, he knew what she wanted, but it couldn't be what she needed. His body screamed for him to rip open her dress and claim her as his, to roll onto her and never come up for air and with her so close, it was nearly impossible not to listen.

His hand snaked over her back, moving lower until it reached her bottom, where he used their position to her benefit. Lifting her leg, he pushed his against her, letting it settle between hers as he inched closer. He was about to tell her that she could stop him when she closed the distance between them and connected their lips. It was more than a surprise, but he didn't stop her, he couldn't.

There was something in her kiss that made him hesitate, a difference he was sure he shouldn't feel. She wasn't holding back like she usually did and he liked it. He always knew this part of her existed within, hidden away in fear, but now that her magic was gone, she had nothing to be afraid of. Her body moved instinctively, trying to obtain something she didn't know she wanted and he hurried to respond.

This was his chance, he told himself between kisses. If she was to lay with another man in a days time, he would show her what it would be like, no, he corrected himself as he rolled onto her. He would show her how it should be.

Breaking their kiss, he pulled his head back and waited for her to open her eyes. "Come with me," he said breathlessly as he began moving away from her. From the look on her face, she was in no position to argue with her body now desperate for more. "We can't do this beside them," he added in a rushed sentence as he watched her mind begin to question it all.

He reached for her hand and though she looked like she wasn't sure, she took it without hesitation and allowed him to help her to her feet. They nearly ran into the trees, Kahlan following his lead until he suddenly stopped and turned around. As their chests collided, he reconnected their lips, pushing into her with each kiss. He had her pinned against a tree within a heartbeat and instantly began lifting her dress. Her head pushed back against the bark of the tree, granting his lips full access to her neck with a soft moan.

He wondered if he could take her, if he could have her for the night and be claimed as hers. The consequences, whatever they may be, meant nothing to him, but he couldn't shake the feeling that it would harm her. She had given her word that she would take a mate, but she never said who he would be. No, he thought instantly, she would not approve of his thoughts, she wasn't the type of woman who would find a hole in the law, in her word. She would take a mate.

Pulling his lips from her skin, he met her heated eyes and panted, "This is about you. Whatever you need, Kahlan..." Pushing in closer, he swallowed. "Make sure he knows and that he touches you like this..." His hands ran up her legs and over her thighs, slowing as he circled the insides. Her eyes closed, relishing the feeling, the gentle pleasure that shot through her core at his touch. "You have to be ready for him," he whispered into the night's air. Kissing her again, he moved his hands higher, coming to a place she had only dreamed of him touching. He was so close to where she wanted him, but no matter how she rocked, he didn't move. "When he takes you," he said in a voice that brought her eyes to open, "don't let him rush into it, it will only hurt you more."

His fingers brushed against her and a series of emotions crossed her face, her body jerking away and forward at the same time. "Hold him still," he instructed and she acted instantly, grabbing his shoulders to hold his arms in place. She was staring into his eyes and tasting her heart, a pounding so intense, she feared she would fall over dead. "Let your body accept him and roll your hips, slowly." She did as he said and instantly released a long moan. Biting her lower lip, she fought to keep her eyes open, to hold his and not give in. "This is about you," he repeated. "What do you need? Don't tell him, act on it."

He watched as she played with the dilemma within, hoping for any outcome other than her shoving him away. She moved so slowly at first, he wasn't sure she had. Her hips shifted against the tree, changing the angle between them until she could take no more and paused. He waited patiently, his curiosity and arousal from the action holding him steady. With a single tug on his shoulder, she encouraged him to move his hand. Releasing her lip, she tightened her legs around his waist and pulled him closer, almost making it impossible for him to continue between them.

"He will be bigger than this," he said softly, confusing her for a moment until her mind circled the thought. "If you move too quickly..."

She nodded slowly and loosened her hold on him. Swallowing back her fear, she opened her mouth, pausing for a moment as she hoped he wouldn't laugh at her. "What do I do?"

He smiled, not one of mocking like she expected, but a genuine one that held her eyes. "Whatever you like." His smile widened as she stared blankly at him, confused. "Explore," he said in a whisper. "Let your body guide you."

Kahlan pulled on his arms, removing his hands from between them and brought them to the laces of her dress. "Is it wrong?" she questioned timidly.

Shaking his head, Richard pulled on the white strings, his eyes eagerly awaiting the downfall of the fabric. When he reached the point of no return, he paused as though giving her a chance to stop him, but she didn't. His breath stopped as she was revealed, the beauty of her being more than he imagined. She remained still, letting him stare to know what to do, wondering how he viewed her. Feeling brave, she suddenly pulled on his shirt, forcing his eyes off of her as he removed the blue cloth.

Once she was able, she pulled him against her, their chests crashing together instantly. Time slowed as he stepped closer, removing any and all space between their bodies, taking advantage of the lack of clothes. With a hard buck forward, he fought his needs as his pants grew painfully tighter. From the way her nails dug into the back of his shoulders, he knew she was in the same place. Both lost in the moment between passionate release and agony from failing to be connected. He wanted her to know what it felt like, to be the first man she laid with, but it wasn't something he could take from her.

Forcing himself back, he eased her down to the ground and licked his lips. He was about to explode, bringing him to do the only thing that he could. Unlacing his pants, he laid on his back and sucked in a deep breath of relief and pain. Holding his eyes closed, he tried to calm himself, tried to stop seeing her body before him. It was no use.

"Are you alright?" she asked in a voice that brought him to look at her. She was afraid, it was clearly written on her face, mixing with the concern. "Did I do something wrong?"

"No," he managed to pant. "You- Spirits..." Her eyes followed his hand as he rubbed it over the top of his pants, releasing a low growl as his head pushed into the ground.

Fascinated, she watched as his body jerked and he let out a heated whisper of her name. She was drawn forward, the need to touch him wild within and after a brief moment of hesitation she reached forward. Though her eyes were on his manhood, she took hold of his hand, bringing his eyes to her face. His body tensed at the expression on her face, the mix of emotions that seemed to seep out of her and into him. She had yet to bring her eyes off of him, making him grow more embarrassed than he thought possible.

Doing the only thing he could think of, he pulled her down to him and rolled onto his side. Her chest was pressed against his, his body still jerking occasionally.

"Is that what it's like?" she whispered into his neck.

"It's close."

Licking her lips, she tried to stop thinking about what she had done and seen, but it was no use. Latching her mind on the thoughts, she let it fuel her already wild desire and decided to be brave. This would be the only time she would experience anything like other women, a night lost in passion with the man she loved.

"I don't want it to be close," she replied as she rocked herself forward.

If he told the story of this night, he would swear that his heart stopped. It was more than the anticipation within him, surpassing the desire and passion in her voice. The look in her eyes held him firmly in a way only hers could, but it was filled with something more. He felt like he was seeing her before him for the first time, naked and bare, pure and innocent, excited and afraid. Afraid of what? His mind questioned as it came to thought. You? 'No,' he told himself instantly. 'Herself.' Laying beside him was a woman who was never aloud to go for what she wanted, to have someone be close and make her feel the passion within her. That is what she is afraid of. She's scared of her own feelings.

"Kahlan-"

"I know that I am promised to another, but-" She stopped herself and looked away, the reality of the situation settling upon her. Rolling onto her back, she closed her eyes and quickly pulled her dress to cover herself. No one had ever seen her this way, touched her, mostly at all, but definitely not in the way he had. She was to be with another man and here she was, asking him to help her destroy her promise. "I'm sorry," she said quickly. "I didn't mean to-"

"It's alright to get carried away, Kahlan. You're allowed to feel this way."

"No I'm not. I- Richard, I'm a Confessor. We do not love anyone."

"Yes you are," he agreed quietly. "But you do and it's not just me that you love."

"Zedd doesn't count," she said just as soft.

"Don't let him hear you say that," he chuckled. "It's alright to care about people, Kahlan. Even as a Confessor."

"We should go back, they are going to come looking for us."

"Probably," he told her as she sat forward and began fixing her dress. "It doesn't make you weak, Kahlan. Caring about people, loving them, it makes you stronger. It's hard to care as much as you do."

"Maybe that's why it's frowned upon."

He laughed, hard, bringing her to turn and look at him. "It's not frowned upon in my land," he told her with a grin. "If you stay with me, you'll fit right in." She started to speak, but he sat forward and continued before she could. "You may stand out a little bit, though. You're much prettier than the others." Holding his smile firmly, he leaned closer to her, bringing his mouth to her neck for a quick kiss. "They have big teeth and hideous noses..."

"Like yours?" she teased as her head fell to the side to give him better access.

"Bigger. It's frightening."

When he pulled back to shift his body, he wished he hadn't as she turned to look at him, making nearly impossible for him to return his lips to her skin. "You're not afraid of anything."

"There are a few things that scare me."

"A spider on your shoulder?" she asked as her eyes moved to his right shoulder. She stared at the skin for a moment, waiting for the brief moment he hurried to brush of the nonexistent bug. He didn't move.

"No, I'm bigger than the spider."

"It's poisonous."

"If it was, you would have already thrown yourself between us to protect me." His smile suddenly faded and he found his mind settling on a previous thought. "Are you sure you have to- I know why- Does it have to be tomorrow?"

Kahlan nodded slowly, her eyes falling to the ground as she sighed. "If I don't do it now, it will only become harder."

He wanted to tell her that maybe that was a sign, that she felt this way because she was meant to be his, but he knew the words would do neither of them any good. "I think it will always be hard," he said quietly. "Loving someone isn't something you can just push aside."

"That is why Confessor's are not supposed to love." Finishing the lacing on her dress, she came to her feet and looked down at his sad features. "Thank you," she managed to say louder than a invisible whisper. "For tonight, I mean." Licking her lips, she turned her head away, hoping that the pain would stop when she looked at something else. "Thank you."

And then she was gone, leaving him half naked in the trees with his heart racing and full of pain.


	3. Chapter 3

The Confessor's Palace was bigger than he thought it would be, a sad thought when he realized just how many Confessors had died. In his mind he knew how important it was for her to conceive a child, but seeing everything in this place, made it even more so. The people in the city avoided eye contact with her, bowing quickly as she approached, ignoring her without disrespecting. It angered him how they feared her, hated her even and every piece of him wanted to shout at each one and demand they love her. She didn't seem to notice their reactions, though he knew better. She was used to this, she would never show the hurt she felt in front of them. It wasn't her way.

He had imagined this all differently. The first time he saw her home, he thought they would be hand in hand, both smiling as she showed him around and introduced him to everyone she knew. The reality was exhaustingly sad. The people were friendly to him, but acted as though she carried a plague. None of them saw her the way he did, the way they should.

"This is the high quarters," Kahlan said, interrupting his thoughts. "It's reserved for our respected guests, you, Cara and Zedd will have a room on this floor. Mine," she added off the curious expression on his face, "is just a floor above where many of the Confessors- Many of them used to have rooms up there." Meeting his eyes, she forced a small smile. "Would you like to see more before you're settled in your room?"

Richard nodded eagerly, a wide smiling coming to his face as he let himself imagine the tour. "I would. I can't believe how big this place is."

Grinning, she took hold of his arm and began walking, each stepping together. "It is, isn't it? As a child, I remember thinking it was endless. There was always another room to explore, another secret passage I would never tell the others I had found..."

"Secret passages?"

"Mmmhmm. There are many that I'm sure my mother didn't even know of. Some were made specifically for us, in case we needed an escape, but others, they were built at different times, I think they were done for others who didn't feel safe."

"Why wouldn't they feel safe in their own home?"

"We don't truly feel safe anywhere," she told him secretly. "There is always someone who is trying to kill us, our own even. Our magic only protects us for so long."

"I won't let anything happen to you."

Tightening her hold on his arm, she nodded with a small smile. "I know, thank you." Pointing the index finger of her left hand, she tugged on him with her other. "That was one of my favorite places as a child. You can smell each one of the flowers when the wind blows. I used to sit in the center and close my eyes, trying to name each one. My mother told me that it would help me in the future, being able to tell where a smell came from... It was a long time before I understood why."

"Did she sit out here with you?"

"Sometimes, when she was pregnant with Dennee and for a few months after, but as Mother Confessor herself, she didn't have a lot of time for sitting in the dirt. When she was older, I brought Dennee out here with me. We spent hours playing instead of our lesions."

"Sounds like fun," he said cheerfully. "She must have enjoyed that."

"Not as much as I did." Glancing over to him, she sighed. "She was my only friend."

"What about the other Confessors?"

"We were all different ages, we trained at different times and I- I was never the one to jump into anything with them. When I wasn't with Dennee, I was alone. I would go somewhere no one knew about and think or read. The others went through the city... I always avoided it."

"Why?"

"I was a child," she replied softly. "They all feared me and I didn't want to see it in their eyes. I still remember the way it felt when parents would rush to their children when I tried to hand them the ball they had kicked too far in my direction."

"They're foolish."

"They were trying to protect their children." He wanted to tell her that there was no need to protect anyone from her, but he knew there would never be a moment when she believed it. "That is where most of us are buried. The crypt goes down lower than many that I have seen."

The outside was carved beautifully in stone, making the place stand out against the set of trees it was surrounded by. The details in each piece was breathtaking, the two figures beside the door were so life like, he would swear the women were looking at him.

"They're beautiful," he commented softly as he began to move them closer. "Who were they?"

"The one on the left, she's one of the first Confessors. We don't even know her name, but she is the reason we are here. The other..," she said as she took a step forward and reached up to the face of the woman in the right. "This is my mother." Her voice was soft and she looked at it as though it was the first time she had seen it. "They began carving a few days after she died. It took years to add it to the crypt... She would like it, though. This is the first time people can look upon her without fear."

Richard couldn't help himself as he ran his eyes over the stone, seeing more similarities between mother and daughter. His mind was full of questions, but he couldn't bring himself to speak one aloud when he saw the way she was looking at the stone. It was the first time in over a year, maybe longer, that she saw the image of her mother and he felt like it was more comforting to her than she could explain. "You look like her," he stated after a brief dilemma in his mind.

"Her hair was longer," she said quietly with a sad smile. "I remember playing with it before bed, brushing it in admiration."

"Must have been very pretty."

"It was." Taking a step away from the stone, Kahlan bowed her head. He had known people to bow in respect to the dead, but the way the woman did it before him made his body ache. He could feel the emotions radiating off of her and hitting him. She was not only showing respect, but she whispered a short prayer asking for guidance and forgiveness, a painful set of words he barely heard. "Are you hungry?" she asked as she brought her eyes back to his. "There will be a feast tonight, but if you want anything to eat, you're going to have to beat Zedd to the food."

"He's probably already in the kitchen," he joked with a knowing smile.

"It's possible."

"Do you think she'll answer?" he asked before he could stop himself.

She shrugged, a slow breath leaving her lips. "I don't know, but I hope that the spirits are kind enough to allow her to."

"I pray that they are."

Taking his arm once more, she smiled. "Thank you."

The feast was nothing like the ones he had attended in Hartland, a thought he knew shouldn't surprise him. Everything was bigger here, even the seven tables in which everyone sat. They were long, seating four dozen people at each, the noise and chatter filling the room. The table he sat with, next to his friends and Mother Confessor was the shortest of them all, having just enough room for the four of them and one more. It was usually given to the man she had chosen as her mate, but she had yet to claim one, having spent the afternoon with Richard as a tour guide. The High Council didn't seem upset, but the Seeker couldn't imagine how they could be when she informed them that she would chose the following morning.

The thought still made his blood boil, but it was nothing compared to the way he felt about everyone celebrating the idea. 'How dare they', he growled at himself as he continued to smile at her side. 'They have no right to ask this of her, of anyone.'

"You're going to cut through the plate," Zedd said, interrupting his grandson's thoughts.

Looking down, he sighed as he realized he had long cut the piece of meat and was now scratching his knife into the plate. "I'm sorry, I didn't realize."

"I know. Richard, you do not have to pretend to be happy for her."

"Everyone else is."

"They are not you."

"You are happy for her," he stated softly. "Zedd, I know that this is important and that it's how it has always been done, but I can't stand the thought of anyone doing this for any reason."

"I know, but it is their way."

Nodding, Richard brought his eyes back to the meat in his plate and blinked away the anger. "Kahlan?"

"Mmm?"

Looking over to her, he grinned as he watched her attempt to swallow the large bite of bread she had just taken. "I'm sorry, I'll give you a few moments to finish. Ouch!" he joked as she pushed her elbow into his side.

"What?"

"I was going to ask you if you were going to eat the sausages."

"Do you want them?" she questioned as she lifted one with her fingers, watching his face as she brought it slowly to her mouth and took an incredibly slow bite. "Mmm they are delicious."

"I know..." It was all he could manage to say, his mind spun and body ached. If they were alone, he would have thrown himself forward and taken her at once.

Letting out a soft laugh, she lifted her plate and pushed her fork against the last four onto his. "Here, I'm more interested in the soup."

"The soup?" he questioned in surprise. They ate soup more often than anything, he couldn't imagine she would want it more than the other items that surrounded them.

"I haven't had it in years... It was my mothers recipe." Richard nearly jumped from his chair as he eagerly lifted his spoon and leaned over to her, sampling a bite from her bowl. "Do you like it?"

Nodding, he swallowed the bite and brought his eyes back to her. "You inherited your mother's cooking skills."

Grinning, Kahlan took a bite of her own. "I'm not sure I could have created this, though." Lowering her voice, she leaned herself a little bit closer to him to keep her words between them. "This is one of the things I've always missed when I traveled. The cook, Brenda, she always makes it for me when I'm here. It reminds me how it used to be."

"Fond memories."

"Some of the best. When I was a young girl, I would sit over there, where Zedd is, and fling food off of my spoon. I didn't care where it went, another table, my sister's hair... This was where I had the most fun."

"Care to relive those moments?" he asked in a voice that she was sure meant he wasn't joking.

"If you go first."

Poking his fork into his potatoes, he bit his bottom lip to fight his laugh and then flung the food to his left, right into Cara's face. Their table froze, by the rest of the room continued on, even as the Mord'Sith turned to face the Seeker.

"Have you gone mad?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," he replied without pause. "Cara, you should be careful when you eat, you're covered in food."

Her eyes narrowed on the younger man and the air cooled around them. "As you wish, Lord Rahl." Grabbing a set of peas, she threw them in his direction, never blinking as they splattered upon his face.

Kahlan laughed loudly, leaning back in her chair with satisfaction. "Peas do not suit you."

Licking the juices off of his lips, he looked over to the brunette with a sly grin. "Maybe they will look better on you."

"You wouldn't," she said factually. "My guards would have you in a cell before the last pea left your hand."

"That may be a risk I am willing to take."

"You would risk sitting in a cell for weeks for a short moment of flinging peas?"

"You'd rescue me."

"Would I?" she teased. "I don't know. I would have to bathe and redress, who knows how long that would take?"

"Alright," he said quietly, looking over to his grandfather, who watched in curiosity.

"Did you want some of the soup?" Kahlan suddenly asked.

"If you don't mind sharing."

Pushing her bowl between the two of their plates, she grinned. "Of course not."

After the feast, Richard returned to his room and quickly found himself in a bath. He couldn't remember the last time he had the luxury and he was sure to soak it in completely. Closing his eyes, he leaned back and let the warm water cover his chest, a feeling he hadn't had in years since he out grew his own tub. He wondered if this was what it was like for her, if somewhere in the palace, Kahlan was in her room, sitting in a bath of her own and enjoying the small comfort of being safe at home. A smile came to his face as he imagined it all, the scent of the room from the choice of soap she had made and the way the candles would light the area around her, bringing out more of her natural beauty. What he wouldn't give to see her that way.

He wondered what it meant when she told him that her next day would be spent preparing. He pictured her in another bath, but he knew that could only last for so long. Things were different here, not only the people, but the way they lived and he wasn't able to shake the feeling that she knew more of what was to happen, than she told him. It was completely her to try to protect him, keeping something to herself that she knew would hurt him. The thought lingered in his mind longer than he wished, leaving him to think of so many possibilities. The next night would, in all likelihood, change the woman he knew and a part of him feared that to he worst of it.

She wasn't the kind of woman who could do what she was needed to and not change, not feel like she had lost a part of herself within a stranger, who loved her because he had no choice. What had happened between them, the brief session of passion within the darkness of the trees, was all that she knew; all that he knew when he thought about it. Yes, he had been with women before, but it had never been like it was with her. With Anna, he had been a young and foolish boy, taking what he wanted for a quick release and nothing more. He thought he cared about her, but now, he was sure he never cared about any of them before.

It had been satisfying, yes, but there was more to it. Kahlan would never know how it felt to be taken in a way that only he could. She would never allow anyone else to get close to her, never enough to care about her the way he did, leaving her empty at night. He could almost feel her next to him as he re-imagined the previous night and the way they had so flawlessly moved together. The sight of her half bare before him was burned in his mind, a heavenly painting he would always reach for. She was different than his other women in more ways than he could count, but it wasn't only the shape of her body or texture of her skin. She was strong in a way that made him proud, that made his heart race and then her grace and smile, her eyes and touch. The way she tilted her head when she thought or bit her bottom lip when she was embarrassed... Everything his mind could hold was something so magnificent it could only be her and there was nothing grater.

Richard suddenly jumped at the knock on the window, his movement so fast and rough, it sent water splashing onto the floor around him. To his surprise and delight, Kahlan was on the balcony, standing close to the glass door that kept her outside. Moving out of the bath, he began moving toward the door, instantly running as he noticed the blood on her face. Pushing open the door, he missed the cool breeze that flew past his still naked and soaking wet body, pulling her inside at once while letting his eyes search her cheek for the wound.

"Are you alright?" he asked as his fingers moved around the stained skin.

Confused, she nodded. "I'm fine, wh-"

"You're bleeding," he stated as he showed her the tips of his fingers.

"I'm fine, I-" Lifting her hands, she shrugged. The center of her hands were covered in blood, the skin cut and torn, leaving them to look more painful than that of what she felt. "It was harder to climb down here than I remembered."

"We should clean the-"

"They're fine," she said quickly, her eyes doing their best not to examine the naked man before her. "I lost my hold a few times, nothing too bad."

He was shaking his head and staring down at her hands, her wrists held firmly until he made a decision of his own. "Come here." She went with him as he lead her to the wash station, instantly gathering a few cloths to help soak up the blood. "We should ask Zedd to heal them before they-"

"They're fine. A few scrapes won't brake me, Richard." She could see the intense worry on his face and though she tried not to, she smiled. "I've had worse, I promise."

"Why did you- You could have used the door."

Grinning, she tried to take his mind off of her hands. "And miss all the fun?"

"Kahlan-"

"I used a door, two actually, but I needed you to open the second."

"You could have fallen," he stated quietly, his eyes now leaving her hands and coming to hers. "You could have-"

"But I didn't," she countered just as soft. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to worry you, but... It was the only way I could get to you without anyone seeing me."

Holding her gaze, he swallowed the thoughts in his mind. "You don't want anyone to know you're here?"

"They can't know," she told him honestly. "I could never explain why I came to you, not to them."

The concern returned to his face at once, almost making her smile. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing is wrong, I... I don't know, maybe this was a mistake. I should go."

Richard tightened his hold on her wrists, shaking his head. "I won't let you climb back to your room."

"My hands are fine."

"Kahlan- Why did you come here?"

Closing her eyes, she took in a slow breath. "I was in my room and I couldn't quiet my mind." Returning her eyes to his, she sighed in defeat. "All I could think was that I would feel better with you."

He had her wrapped in his arms at once, held firmly until he realized he was naked. "I'm sorry, I should get dressed."

Kahlan took a short step back, meeting his eyes for a moment. "I didn't mean to interrupt your bath."

"I know," he whispered as he tried to find the right movement.

"Do you want to finish?" The tone of her voice made his body react instantly and the way she looked at him didn't help at all. She was barely dressed, wearing what he assumed to he a night dress, only it was barely long enough to hide her from him. "I don't mind waiting."

"You can join me," he said before he could stop the words from leaving his lips. "The water is warm."

She held the same desire in her eyes, surprising him how brave she was to stare into his. "Need me to wash your back?"

"If you wouldn't mind."

Neither knew who moved first, but after an instant, they didn't care. Their lips collided again and again, each pulling each other closer as though it was the only way to breathe. Kahlan expected him to move her toward the bath, but he didn't. Instead, he pulled her forward, walking her toward the very large bed that sat on the other side of the room. She needed more and quickly. Her body was on fire and only his touch could ease the pain.

Pushing into him, she tried to gain more, stepping onto her toes and dropping for a quick moment of more skin touching his. She had worn it on purpose, having put on several different night gowns before settling on this one. It covered her enough to make her feel comfortable leaving her bedroom, but left her partly exposed to his hungry eyes. She could feel him against her, his body expressing the same as within her, loudly.

Using all of his strength, he sat down on the edge of the bed and pulled her onto his lap. He wanted to roll onto her, to push her into the bed and bury himself within the warmth of her, but he couldn't. She seemed to feel the same desperation, her body melting into his with each rock and kiss. She was comfortable in their position, finding it safe and passionate, warm and satisfying, the whole of emotions flooding through her and into him, out of his lips and into hers. It was a never ending circle between them and they each wanted more.

His hands slid over her legs and beneath her gown, gliding up her sides until they were close to her breasts. She responded at once, but not in the way he expected. Instead of shying away or flinching at all, she pushed into him, shifting just enough for his hands to graze her untouched skin. His mind nearly exploded in thought, the action sending him to a place he had never been and with her mouth hot on his, he was never to return. He was gentle at first, giving her yet another chance to stop it all.

She broke their kiss as his right hand covered her breast with a soft squeeze and he thought she would push him away, but she didn't. Holding her forehead close, she grabbed his hand through her gown and increased its force, doing just what he had taught her to do before. She told him what she wanted without words, acting upon her instincts with each breath. Her lips grazed his, nipping as his fingers pushed into her skin. One hand held her waist, the other holding her breast just as tight, both beneath her nightgown and both setting her on fire.

Parting their lips, she did something unexpected and pulled the cloth from her body and shoved his back to the bed. Richard stared up at her naked form above him, his body aching as he moved his hands over her. He opened his mouth to tell her how beautiful she was, but all that escaped his lips was a soft moan of desperation that seemed to be all she needed. Shifting her body, she brought her own hands to his chest and slowly began to lean forward, using the contact between them to hold herself steady. They were naked, a fact neither could deny as she continued moving, lowering her hands to the bed so that her chest could rest against his and their lips could reunite again and again.

His hands continued their exploration of her body, circling her back and sliding over her sides, down her thighs and everywhere they could reach. She held her hands firmly in place, one, with her fingers intertwined in his hair, the other griping the blanket on the bed beside his head. Her body rocked against his, gently enough to barely graze his, but hard enough to make each breath come in a heated pant.

He wanted to take her, needed to switch their positions and bury himself within her. His body screamed for him to act, for him to take control and claim her, but he remained still. She was in control, she was to decide how far this would go and somewhere within the dark desire of his mind, he knew she wouldn't allow it. Her need grew wild before him and suddenly she was beneath him, pulling on his shoulders as she tried to gain the pressure she craved. The Seeker responded instantly, lifting his body from hers long enough for him to roll her onto her stomach and pull her up. A gasp of surprise left her lips, but faded as his hands circled her and his mouth found the side of her neck.

With her back against his chest, his hands had perfect access to her. She encouraged his hands, holding one to her breast while the other helped move his lower until spots danced before her half open eyes. Lost in a state of bliss, Kahlan brought her right hand to his head, holding it close while she grabbed his knee with her other. Her mind was spinning, trapped in a loop of thought that the man behind her was sent by the Creator herself as a gift to women, providing pleasures they never knew existed. Her moans began to grow louder, shielded only when he crashed his mouth to hers, a small attempt to hide their actions.

Neither knew when they changed positions, but suddenly, he was laying above her once again. Her wrist was stuffed in her mouth, her teeth biting down to stop the cry of pleasure she released again and again, filling the ears of the man against her with passionate joy. Their lips connected flawlessly as his body shifted against hers, both so close to the edge the slight movement nearly set them off.

He lifted his had as she rolled her hips, she shifted her legs, quietly asking for more. "Kahlan..," he panted heatedly. "We don't... If we- I may not be able to-"

Touching his cheek, she lifted her hips into his. She was fighting herself, fighting the magic that chose this moment to return to her, setting her fingertips on fire as they touched his cheek. This was the final chance.

Richard woke the next morning with the Mother Confessor in his arms, naked. He was surprised to have her body pressed against him, while she slept, having assumed that she would have left at some point during the night. Their actions replayed in his mind, the sight of her, the sounds that filled the air and as he moved her onto her back, he grinned. Her right arm firmly held the indentions of her teeth, her hold on it during their passion having broken the skin and drawn blood. Laying his hand on the wound, he recalled the moment she bit into it, half silencing the moan that he drew from deep within her.

They had spent the night rolling around, kissing, biting, touching and moving together in a way that still made his body ache. Her magic had returned, darkening her eyes before him and with the spirits as their witness, she held on until she nearly exploded. He had never experienced anything like it before and now as he watched her sleep, he knew he never would again.

With his mind wondering, he lowered his head and kissed her shoulder, letting his lips linger. It was impossible for him to describe the way her skin felt against his lips and the way it called out to him, begging for more. Her head faced away, leaving her neck open to him, an opportunity he made sure to take advantage of. His left hand moved over her stomach slowly, struggling to keep from waking her while he did the best he could with whatever time he had left. If she claimed him as her mate, he knew that this would be how he woke her every morning possible. If he was hers, she wouldn't have to hold back the sounds of pleasure he longed to hear escape her lips and if he was hers, he would die happy.

Pulling back, he brushed his fingers through part of her hair, bringing more of her face into sight. She appeared to be sleeping peacefully, something he had not seen for some time. He remembered the way they had been the night before, the way she trusted him with every move and instantly accepted anything he offered. It was almost hard to believe, really. The woman before him had never been with a man before, had never been touched or kissed in any of the places he had taken and yet, she didn't fight him at any turn, hesitate on any action. Her trust in him was far grater than he deserved.

He had taken her, claimed her as his body slid into hers. It was perfect, a fit so right it made complete sense. There was no other moment in which he had felt such bliss or seen something more beautiful. Her magic rose within her, but she didn't stop him, to his delight, she only held him tighter. The darkness in her eyes had screamed out to him, demanding more in sync with her body's movement. It told him impossible things and asked him to do others. It whispered like his sword, lingering words of not only warning, but desire, a look at her own thoughts.

Sitting up, he pushed his hair back, sucking in a breath that he hoped would calm his heart. Whatever happened the night before could never happen again. He may have claimed her, but she didn't claim him and when she woke up, she would declare a mate and take him to her bed. Her bed, his mind lingered on the thought, wondering what it felt like, how it would make way for her body as he pushed into her- No. Standing, he pulled on his pants, quietly walked to his wash station and pushed his face into the cold water. Instant relief of the warmth he felt radiating between them. Lifting his head, he quickly rubbed it dry in a small towel and as he tossed the cloth to the floor, be began walking to the door. He needed to get away before he tied her to the bed and demanded she never lay with anyone else.

She had awoken naked and alone in his bed, the sun shining on her face from the half open window across the room. The moment remained with her as she walked down the halls of her home, haunting her. Her body shook in a mix of anger, sadness and betrayal, all of which she refused to let her face show. She had already chosen her mate, a choice that had been surprisingly easy to make and she had yet to see the other man. She had thought he would be there, somewhere, anywhere, trying to stop her, but he wasn't and he didn't. If a night with her was all he wanted, he had achieved his goal and she now saw no reason why he would come to her.

Coming to the door of her bedroom, she entered with a small circle of her most trusted servants, each having a purpose to help her prepare. Two of the five were younger than her, but had husbands of their own, each exchanging looks as they heated the water for her bath.

"Have you any questions, Mother Confessor?"

"No."

The women came around her with sad expressions, inching closer than any of them had ever dared before. "This cannot be easy for you."

"It is my duty," she said softly. "It being easy or not has no weight on what must be done."

One of the younger women laid her hand on her arm and squeezed gently. "Laying with a man for the first time can be painful."

"Your body-"

Meeting the other woman's eyes Kahlan blinked out her tears. "A woman's body can handle-"

"Mother Confessor, please..." It was another woman speaking now, the youngest and unmarried. "Being with a man, as you must, it is not the pain of the moment that we speak of."

Kahlan sat down on the stool at the side of her wash station and closed her eyes. "I must do this, no matter how it makes me feel. No words will change any of it."

"We must prepare you."

Meeting the young woman's eyes, the Mother Confessor frowned. "I need no preparation, not for this."

"Your bath is ready."

"Thank you."

The women helped her out of her dress and into the water, taking note of the strange marks on her body. She had been gone over a year and fought many times, none of them suspected that the red smudges were from a night of passion with the Seeker. The bite mark and cut hands however, each paused upon sight.

"They're fine."

"They must be healed before tonight."

"I will send for the wizard after my bath." Looking back to one of the younger women, she leaned forward in the water. "What was it like? The day you were married..."

The woman smiled, her teeth showing as she folded the white Confessor's dress. "I never knew anyone could be so happy."

"What did you wear?"

"A green dress my mother had made, it was the most beautiful gown I had ever seen."

"Do you still have it?"

"I'll never be without it."

"And your wedding night?"

The woman sat down on the stool and blushed. "It was magical. My husband, he was... I believe the spirits sent him to me for a lifetime of those nights."

"You are lucky to have such a love." The women stared at the Mother Confessor for a moment, each filled with pity. "I will be ready within the hour, please send the wizard at that time to tend to my wounds."

They left her at once, all of them except for one. "Your mate will make love to you in any way you desire, in this night, you may find your own pleasant bliss."

"I'm afraid it will never be as I wish it to."

"Perhaps not, but there will be nothing lost if you try to have it so. You will be surprised to see that a man will do anything to please someone he loves."


	4. Chapter 4

Kahlan was lying naked in her bed, her mate, Tony, beside her breathing just as heavy. She was exhausted, having spent the past three hours taking everything the other man could give her in a small attempt to forget the way it felt when the Seeker touched her. It was impossible because it was all she had known before and when she was in this man's hands, it was obvious. His kiss was far different than the only other she had, his hands were more gentle and lacked all of the passion. She had cried for a while, she didn't know how long and she couldn't understand why. It was anger that she felt the most of, anger that she had let herself believe that the man she loved, loved her too, but the spirits laughed in her face. He wanted a night with her and she foolishly gave it to him. The only thing that lingered within her mind is that now that she had given herself to him, would everything else change?

"Mistress?" Tony spoke as he sat up and turned to face her. "Are you alright?"

"No," she replied honestly. "But I will be. You are all I need." Her eyes moved over his body, taking note of everything that had made her chose him on sight. Every piece of him was completely different than Richard. His hair was cut short, almost shaven away and his shoulders were twice as wide. He was a large man, much bigger than her and when she laid beneath him, she was half certain she would plummet through the bed. His manhood surprised her, again being different than the Seeker's and to her curiosity, didn't seem large enough for the man before her.

He was quick to find his own pleasure, something a Confessor's mate was instantly given when having the opportunity to slide within and thrust again and again. She scolded her mind at the thoughts, not knowing when she believed it to be alright that she think of such things so carelessly. He tried to raise her higher, his hands and mouth working furiously in attempt to give her the same enjoyment, but it was quickly proven difficult. It wasn't until she took control that she began to lose herself. She had crawled onto him, bravely taking his hands to her breasts as she moved over him. It amazed her how different it felt, the pressure she had felt with one man's hands had thrown her overboard, but it took much more with another. She had to order him to be rougher, to make his movements known, it was the only way she felt anything, a secret she would never tell.

After a while, her mind had blacked out everything else, a mercy as she saw it now, and given her the opportunity for more, for taking in every indulgence without thought. A position she had shared with another man had become her favorite, her chest pressed into his as he bit down on her bottom lip, pulling as she rolled her hips over him. From the sounds the man made, she felt powerful, seductive and for however brief a time, content.

"Were you married before?"

"No."

Nodding, she turned onto her side, making sure to hold the blanket to her chest. "Had you been with a woman?"

"Yes Mistress, many."

"Did you love any of them?"

"I'm sure that I must have," he said softly. "But I don't remember loving anyone other than you."

"You didn't love me until I confessed you this morning."

"I was a fool."

Kahlan grinned as she reached out and touched the fingers of her left hand to a long scar on his chest. "What happened here?"

"I fought some resistance fighters."

"Did you kill them?"

"Yes."

Inching closer, she continues to move her eyes over him. "Did you kill many?"

"Yes."

"How did it make you feel?"

"Strong, Mistress," he stated at once.

Bringing her eyes back to his she returned to the position on her back and sighed. "And you liked it? Feeling strong?"

"Yes."

"Do you like other things?"

"Yes."

Before her mind argued with her next set of words, she spoke, "What do you like about me?"

"Your breasts," he said without hesitation, his eyes coming to rest on the top, just above the blanket that shielded her from him. "Your skin is soft too, Mistress and you're- When I'm with you, it is a pleasure I never want to end."

"It doesn't have to," she whispered in surprise to herself. "What is it you wish to do to me?"

"Everything."

"Go on," she told him after a brief moment of silence. "Take me."

Kahlan brought him with them as they left to continue their journey. The High Council had no objections once she informed them that it was the only way she would be able to continue to try to conceive a child and help the Seeker. One of the bonuses that accompanied the decision were known to her alone. Her mate, Tony, would do his best to protect her, die at once to save her life, but it wasn't the reason she wanted him to come along. With him near, she would be able to be near Richard and she hoped that the time would reveal his true feelings. It didn't take long for the anger to show. It was instant.

Tony remained close to her, between the once couple as they walked and it was almost amusing to the Mother Confessor to see the two men growl each time they made eye contact. She was exhausted and the memory of waking alone in his bed still haunted her, bringing her to remain silent as though nothing was happening. It angered him more. The day was still early and going backward, each moment seeming to last a lifetime between breaths. A never ending agony she felt throughout her entire being.

When she could stand it no longer, she quickened her pace so that she was walking beside the bigger man. "How long has it been since you left Aydindril?"

"Two years, Mistress. I was in prison waiting for my judgement."

"And now you're free." Smiling up at the man, she bit her lower lip, partly in show for the other who watched from the corner of his eye. "How does it feel."

"Beyond words, Mistress."

"Words are not always needed," she told him with a smile that let loose her thoughts. The man beside her knew what she meant, that sounds could be just as powerful, especially those in pleasure. "Where is it you lived?"

"Outside Mak's, just before you reach the mountains. When you are done with your quest, I can take you there. I would make you happy, Mistress, I swear to you."

"Of that I have no doubt, but I cannot live away from the Confessor's Palace. I have my duties."

"If you didn't?"

"I don't know," she said quieter than intended. "A life away from all of this does sound inviting."

"I would keep you safe, Mistress. I would give you everything you wanted; you would be happy."

"Perhaps it is something I must think on."

"Of course, Mistress."

Richard was fuming, his hand griping the sword so tight, his knuckles were white and his breathing a heavy pant. He hated for any other man to look at her, but even more so the men she confessed. They didn't deserve to look at her that way and Tony sure didn't deserve to have had her. She was smiling and he hated it. He hated that someone else was making her happy, talking to her and sharing the same space. Their arms touched as they walked and neither appeared to mind, she even seemed to enjoy it.

"Would you like me to?" Tony asked eagerly as Richard's ears returned to their conversation.

"Very much so. Tonight, if you're able."

"It would be my honor."

He had listened to almost every word, ignoring everything else around him. It was hard for him to breathe, especially with the Sword of Truth whispering in his ear. When they began to set up camp, it didn't end and then came the final straw.

Richard returned to camp with four rabbits, but he stopped frozen in the tree line at the sight before him. They were sitting around the fire with Tony, who stirred something in a pot while they ate. Dropping three of the animals, he came into sight and did his best to pretend it was all right.

"You need to try this, Richard."

Shaking his head, he began cutting into his rabbit. "No, I have this."

"It's delicious," his grandfather said between quick bites.

Lowering his voice, the Seeker mocked the older man and sighed. Betrayed for food, he thought at once. He could trust none of them.

As the night went on, he remained away from them, leaning against a tree in the darkness while staring out into the trees. He hoped for danger, for their enemy to come running into their camp. He craved the fight and the feel of blood splattering against his face as he pushed his sword into any one of them. He needed the battle. He wanted it to be as it was before, for the beautiful woman across the camp to come to his side with a bowl of food and a joke. She was always the one to make him feel better, to take away any of the pain he felt, but now that it was caused by her, it wasn't possible.

Her eyes never went in his direction, something he was sure of because he could always feel them. Closing his own, he reached for the hilt of his sword and slowly tightened his hold to let the anger rise. He needed more of it.

He didn't know how long he had sat there, but when he opened his eyes, the others were on their bed rolls. Looking right to her, he growled. Kahlan was laying on her side, facing away from him and toward the other man in whispers. They were close, too close and it was a pain he refused to feel. Coming to his feet, he began marching across the camp until he stood at the man's side.

"Get up," he commanded at once. Their eyes came to his and she instantly began moving until his expression hardened. "Not you," he instructed her sternly. "You," he stated as he brought his sword to Tony's neck. "Get up."

The bigger man did as he was told after a nod from his Confessor. "Richard-"

"Not now," he growled at her as he took a step toward the other man. "You are taking this watch, sit in those trees and do not move unless we are in danger."

Again, he looked down to her and waited, but she didn't nod this time, she didn't have to. He could feel her heart pounding in his, feel her anger and pain, everything she felt when she was close to the Seeker. Everything, leading him to do as he was told. When he was gone, she started to sit up, but was stopped as his sword angled toward her.

"Do not move." She surprisingly remained still, her face showing no emotion as he looked down at her. "Have you lost your mind?" She said nothing, hearing far more in his tone than she needed to understand. "Speak, Confessor!"

"I have nothing to say," she replied as though it was a typical moment.

Richard knelt down and leaned close, meaning to whisper what he shouted next. "You're mine! You have no right to-"

"To what?!" she shouted in return, shoving the palms of her hands into his chest. He stumbled back for a second, but quickly regained his balance. "I am not the one who chose this. I belong to you?!" The last of the words came out as a part laugh and part confusion, neither fully escaping. "You left! Do you not remember?! It was I who awoke in your bed alone, you have no right to do any of this. You left, you made your decision and now I have made mine."

"Of course I left!" he shouted back at her. "Do you know how hard it is to lay in bed with you?!"

Coming to her knees, she lifted her chin and locked her jaw. "You had no problems with it the night before. How dare you treat me this way. I belong to no one, especially you."

"I claimed you," he stated louder than he intended, hitting everyone's ears as though he spoke it directly to them. "I had you before him-"

Her hand slapped the side of his face, hard, shutting him up instantly. "And how many had you before me?" she questioned just as rough. "How dare you!" Shoving him once more, she inched closer. "No, how dare I? I was a fool to believe that you cared for me, but no longer, Seeker. I know the truth and I have nothing left to give you."

"You're mad, woman!"

Growing frustrated with him, she slapped him again and then reached for his sword, at last feeling the same wrath within him. Her eyes grew dark and the sword hissed its warning, demanding he escape at once.

"I'm mad?!" she shouted in his face. "I am not the one who left! I did not take a woman in my bed and make her feel such things! I did not- You do not take a woman and then leave her in the night! You do not take me and leave! Do you know how it felt?!" Her fist slammed into his jaw, sending him back for a rock. "How dare you say you've claimed me! You are not man enough to speak such words, had you been, I would have had no need to take another man to my bed!"

He pulled back his hand to hit her, but stopped as the sword sent a wave of pain through him. "You would have taken him anyway! That's what you wanted isn't it?! A man to thrust inside of you until you could stand no more pleasure?!"

"You know nothing of pleasure!"

"I've only known pleasure with you!"

She fell back on her heels at his words, her hand leaving the sword and the anger leaving almost instantly. Their eyes were locked, they were inches apart and for the first time, one of them whispered. "How can you mean that?"

Her calmness threw him, unsure as to what was now happening. He felt the urge to scream, but the look on her face stopped him. "I mean everything with you."

"Not everything," she countered near tears. Swallowing the lump in her throat, Kahlan blinked as her body began to sway. "I can't do this. Tony," she said in a voice that broke all thoughts and brought them to her pain, "walk with me."

Raising his hand toward the man, Richard pointed. "You will stay where you are! And you," he added as he looked back to the woman before him. He could see her tears and the heart breaking pain that filled her, but he couldn't stop now. "Why did you bring it with us?! He's not even a real man anymore!"

This was it, she thought in silence. Moments before she had told herself that she could feel no worse, but instantly, she was proven wrong. In a simple sentence he had managed to say something entirely different than what he was capable of. Only now, she wasn't sure it was the sword that made him say it. "I brought him with me so that I wouldn't be alone." Again, another simple statement, one that meant more than the words released. "I brought him with me so that for one moment, I could feel anything other than what I feel at all other times. I brought him so that I wouldn't look over at you and suddenly want to be in your arms. I brought him because he is all that I have. Tony if you stand there another minute, I will be greatly unhappy." The large man rushed to her side and just as Richard had done time and time again, he dropped to his knees at her side and took hold of her hands, Instantly trying to comfort her.

No one moved or spoke as they watched, the scene being too familiar in its differences. Tony brought his face close to hers, nudging his forehead against the side of her head while his left hand came to the side and wound his fingers in her hair. This was the part the Seeker would use to kiss her, kiss her lips, her cheek, her head... Anywhere he could, but her mate didn't do that. Instead, Tony began to whisper in her ear and as though a switch was flipped in her mind, she came to her feet and took his arm, pulling him along behind her as she walked into the darkness of the forest.

"Richard?"

"She has been out there for hours."

"She's fine, Tony will not allow anything to happen to her."

"Neither would I," he said at once. He was no longer holding the sword, having let it go a short breath after they had left his line of sight, but the anger within him still lingered. This was an anger of his own, but he couldn't tell if he was upset with her or himself. "She shouldn't have brought him with us."

"It was her duty," Cara said as though it was the easiest reason in the world. "She owes it to her people to conceive a child and she couldn't remain in her palace to do it."

"She owes those people nothing."

"It's their way, Richard."

"Stop saying that. She is not like other Confessors-"

"How would you know?" Cara snapped in annoyance. "You've never met any others."

"I- I know Kahlan. I know what she's told me and how everyone says that they are- that they were and she doesn't fit any of it."

"Because she fell in love with you?"

"No," Richard said as he stopped pacing and looked over his shoulder to the blonde. "Because she has allowed you to stay with us. Anyone else would have taken your life and she has had many opportunities, one given to her by you. Her loving me, if she ever did, is not the reason she is different."

Zedd came to his feet in a hurry, surprising the others. "How can you say that? You know she loves you."

"Do I? Zedd, she brought him with us! She is out there right now, letting him-"

"Have you felt her magic release?" The Seeker shook his head to the older man's question, but his expression remained the same. "What makes you think she is not out there in tears because of how you treated her?"

"He is with her."

"And at one point, it used to be you."

"And that is what frightens me."

Zedd frowned took a step forward, raising his hand to the front of his grandson's face. "Sleep." He remained still as the younger man yawned and moved to the ground, laying down as though it was all he ever wanted and then, he was asleep. Looking over to the sword, the wizard had it wrapped in the blanket it laid on, his magic binding it inside. "The jealousy cannot be mixed in anger. We must make sure he does not hold this again."

Kahlan didn't speak the next day, not even to Tony, who, from the look of him, was desperately trying to make her happy. She didn't make eye contact with anyone, her pace steadily slow, leaving her just behind the others. Richard, walked ahead of them all and without his sword. When he awoke, it was clear the anger had worn off, but the damage had been done. He was afraid that the instant he spoke, it would become worse.

The urge to come to her side and simply walk next to her was almost so strong it slowed his legs, but he could stop seeing the expression he had brought to her face the night before. The sun burned down upon them, just as hot as the day they spent by the lake, a fond memory he tried to focus on. If only he could go back and tell her what had gone on in his mind. He wanted to scream at her for believing for a second that he didn't care about her, but then his mind would whisper and he understood where the thoughts came from. What they had done that night wasn't something simple or something she could ignore. If he was honest, he knew there was no way to know what she thought of or how it felt when she woke in his bed, alone.

He wanted to drop to his knees and beg for forgiveness, followed swiftly by his plea for her to understand and how much he had wanted to tie her to his bed and never let her leave. He wanted her to be his and he to be hers, but taking a mate was, no, is so important and he didn't want to be the reason she was alone. Her words still lingered in his mind, "If I do this, I won't be alone anymore." She is the last of her kind and who was he to stand in the way of bringing the world what it needed. The thought of being the reason she didn't become a mother was worth the death of him. He couldn't imagine anyone being a better mother and she deserved to be. Her child could give her the love that was free and without fear, he couldn't.

He could give her nothing but pain, something he was good at. It surrounded him and the one thing he noticed since the beginning of their first quest was that it followed him, striking every person he came into contact with. He refused to let it soak into her any further. When they found the stone, he would leave and she would be free of him, forever able to live the life she wanted. As much as he felt that she was a part of him, he would let her go. He had to.

They fought a single round with some banelings and he never took his eyes off of her. She looked exhausted as though she had not slept in months, but she continued to fight, spinning and stabbing with just as much grace as before. She would never let on that she wasn't feeling well. Richard had been wounded during the fight and used it to buy her a short break as he asked the wizard to heal it. He missed the pain of it though, it kept him from feeling hers. It was much less painful.

Cara had grown annoyed by the tension and took to walking beside the old wizard, willing to listen to his stories instead of the awkward silence. Zedd didn't seem to be bothered by the others, something that intrigued her, but she waited to see if it would reveal itself to her. Everything did, eventually.

The dizziness began hours before, days, in truth, but since she had yet to eat, Kahlan shrugged it off. Every inch of her hurt, but she couldn't tell if it was just from the anger within her. She wanted to scream, release her magic and then fall to the ground to sleep for eternity, but she didn't want them to see her weakness. It was already hard enough without them taking pity on her and the instant she let it known how she felt, it would never end. It would be dark soon and they would come to a stop, all she had to do was wait.

When it became night, her pace had slowed dramatically and she was finding it difficult to continue with her sight blurred. She moved off of the sounds of the others, listening to guide her until she at last came to a stop. Richard noticed at once and turned, surprising them all as he began moving toward her. He said nothing as he studied her, taking in each detail to figure out what was wrong. She looked directly at him, but he knew she didn't see him, she was too calm for that.

"Kahlan?"

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to slow you down. I'm alright, only tired."

"You're exhausted," he said at once, "but that isn't what's wrong." Ignoring his comment, she took a few steps backward and reached out her left hand until she found a tree and then, slowly, lowered herself to the ground beside it. "Kahlan-"

"I'm fine," she stated again, only now her words slurred. Before she took another ragged breath, she saw darkness.

Richard shoved Tony out of his way as he rushed to her side, anything wrong between them having been forgotten. "Zedd!" Bringing his hands to her face, he lifted her chin from her chest and leaned forward for a closer look. "She's freezing."

The wizard approached slowly, already knowing what was happening to the Mother Confessor. "I know. She needs to rest."

"You know? Zedd-"

"We should make sure the area is safe, she will not be awakening tonight."

"What is-"

"The magic within her is adjusting. We should have waited another few days before leaving the palace."

Richard was lowering her to the ground as his grandfather spoke, the older man's words lingering in his mind until he at last, thought he understood what the other man meant. "If she was carrying a child, she would have told us."

Shaking his head, Zedd frowned. "I do not believe she would. It has not been easy on her, continuing on after everything between the two of you."

"She would have told me," he whispered more to assure himself than anyone else. Brushing a few strands of hair out of her face, he blinked. "We may be on different sides right now, but you would have told me."

Tony took a step forward and knelt down at the side of his Mistress. "She has not felt well for days."

Richard brought his eyes to the unwanted man and nearly growled. "You don't know her very well."

"I can feel what she feels," he whispered as his eyes remained on her face. "Every moment."

"What does she feel?" Richard asked before thinking.

Tony closed his eyes for a moment, letting the connection between himself and the Mother Confessor strengthen. "Pain. She's hurt for some time, but it's different now. I don't understand-"

Zedd was suddenly moving the men out of the way to make room for himself, kneeling down as he took hold of her hands and pulled them together. To the surprise of everyone, he began to tie them together, ignoring the Seeker's protest. "This must happen. It will protect us all." Without pause, he looked over his shoulder to Cara, who had yet to move. "We are staying here for the night, make sure we are alone." The blonde left instantly and Richard moved back to Kahlan's side. "You will not be able to touch her until she awakens. The magic within her cannot be trusted not to take us."

"How can you say that? She would never hurt any of us."

"She is not going to be in control for much longer."

Shaking his head, he reached out to her, only to be stopped by something he couldn't see. "Untie her hands," he said quickly. "She doesn't like it when- Zedd please, you have to untie her hands."

"Richard, you must trust me."

Hours past and Richard sat beside her. He went through nearly every emotion, the anger being the one to revisit time and time again. He would talk to her, demanding to know why she had said nothing and if she was pregnant, he wanted to know why she had bothered to continue with them at all. The conversation he had with her weeks before lingered in his mind, reminding him of the way she felt about the situation that had now arrived. She never thought that she would bare children and here she was, laying with one growing within her. He almost smiled at the thought, knowing that there could be no grater mother. She, however, would never see herself that way.

As he watched her sleep, he noticed a few changes in her features. He knew she hadn't slept well, but he now saw the darkness beneath her eyes, leading him to examine more. Her face was pale and not from the lack of sleep, this was different, this was almost painful to view. Her lips had lost much of the redness he had grown accustomed to savoring and there was no end to the sadness that held them in a frown. The urge to touch them, to touch her was strong within him and the shield the wizard had placed around her made it grow. It was something he never understood about himself. The desire for her was always strong, but even more so when it was forbidden.

"You need to eat," he said to her quietly. "If you do carry a child, she- Kahlan, you have to wake up and take control. If you are with child, you have to do this for her." Slouching, Richard let out a long sigh. "You should have told me, told any of us. How can you expect us to let you do this? Kahlan, you shouldn't be out here fighting banelings when you carry your daughter. You could be killed, you- Both of you and if you die... You are the last Confessor, Kahlan. You need to wake up."

"She will not wake up for some time. Her body must adjust to the life within her."

Looking over to his grandfather, the young man frowned. "When did you know?"

"I suspected when she invited him along. It would keep the two of you apart, leaving her to hold the secret to herself."

"You always think things through, don't you?" he asked her. His mind rushed back to their night together, wondering if she had planned it out as well or if she had simply allowed herself the pleasures. No, he told himself quickly, she wasn't that kind of woman. He saw something in her eyes, something stronger than what she usually showed him and it was only now becoming clear. She had come to him, he thought, knowing the risks of being caught and ignoring them, for him. "Did he know?" he found himself asking her. "Did you tell him that you carry his daughter?" Bringing his eyes to the man he hated more than he thought possible, he gritted his teeth. "Did she tell you she was with child?"

"No."

His reply made him feel better, but he knew it didn't mean anything. He was no more than her mate, she wouldn't speak to him as she would someone she cared for. Richard began to wonder how it would be if she carried his child, if things were different and the time came for her to tell him. He would be laying in bed, he thought at once, sleeping with her at his side and suddenly, she would be rocking his shoulder in excitement. He could almost see the joy on her face as his mind imagined the moment. He wished that he could hear her speak the words to him and see the smile on her face as he wrapped her in his arms... It would never happen, not with her. The saddest revelation of all was that she would not be the one who would bare his children.

"We should move her closer to the fire, the nights have been colder."

"I will do it," Tony said confidently. He was the only one who could touch her without the fear of her magic running through him. "She- I must ask for another blanket as well," he said to Richard as their eyes met. "She is cold during the night and will not allow me to keep her warm."

"I'm sure she wouldn't mind," the Seeker found himself saying. He had held her in his arms more nights than he could count to keep them warm, surly she would appreciate the man's gesture.

Shaking his head, the bigger man frowned. "I have been given orders, Sir. I am not to aid or comfort her with myself."

"When did she say this?"

"Before we left. I am only to do as she instructs and come to her when she requests my presence."

"As last night?"

"Yes. She was upset; my mistress didn't want to be alone."

"And I'm sure you were happy to please her."

"Of course, sitting beside my Mistress was a great honor."

The man's words rung in Richard's ears and he didn't understand why it made him angry. They hadn't done anything like he imagined, so he shouldn't want to rip the other man apart, but he did. It should have been him at her side, comforting her. "Move her closer to the fire, I'll find her another blanket."

It was nearly dawn when she opened her eyes, grateful to see the limbs above her instead of the eyes she felt watching. She was tired and it hurt to move her eyes, but she refused to let it stop her. They needed to continue on and she had wasted their time already. Suddenly she jerked, her eyes filling with tears as she pulled on her hands, desperately trying to get free. He was beside her at once.

"I'm sorry," he whispered to her as he took hold of her hands. "It's alright... Zedd wanted to make sure you didn't- I'm sorry." Her eyes closed as he cut the rope around her hands, freeing them as she squeezed out more tears. "Kahlan-"

"Mistress!" Tony shrieked with joy, interrupting the other man as he rushed toward her.

"I'm fine," she assured him quietly, her eyes darting between the two men. "Find the wizard, help him with any of his needs, I need to speak with Richard."

Nodding his head, Tony grinned. "Yes, Mistress."

Richard stared at her as she watched her mate leave, noticing the slight change in her features. She was holding back, fighting whatever emotion was the strongest and gave no effort to hide the struggle. "If you want me to return to Aydindril, I-"

"I don't want you to go," he stated at once. "Kahlan, I- I may be upset, but I wouldn't send you away." He sighed, blinking as she at last looked to him. "This is what you wanted, what the purpose was. You carry his child."

Her jaw locked for a moment, his words hitting her like she imagined his fist would. "I will not slow us down again."

He almost smiled, knowing that she meant it and that she would do anything she could to make sure he didn't regret taking her along with them. "I know, leaving me to be the one to do it for you. Kahlan, we can't let anything happen to you, either of you."

"I won't brake if we keep-"

"Maybe you won't," he agreed. "But you are not the only one I am thinking of. The child, she is small and anything could... You can't keep skipping meals and forgetting to wake one of us for our watch. Yours will be half as long, giving you more rest and with the spirits as my witness, I will make sure you abide the new rules."

"That won't be necessary. Richard, there is nothing to worry about. I have months-"

"She is alive within you. There is everything to worry about."

She stared at him for what felt to be several minutes, her mind reeling as she wondered how he could care. To him, she was just another woman who carried another man's child, he shouldn't care at all, especially after what happened between them. "I'm strong enough not to-"

"Mother Confessor," he said in a tone that quieted her instantly. "You have no say in this matter. I will not let anything happen to either of you." Slouching his shoulders, he looked over to Cara, who had been watching the entire time. She knew how he felt, even watched him throughout the night and he hated for her to see him that way. "We will wait here for another hour and then set out, that should give you some time to prepare."

"Alright," Kahlan replied as anyone else would her. He was the only man, the only living being who could tell her what to do and he knew it. "May I ask one favor of you?"

"I don't know," he replied honestly. Before, had she just asked him, he would have agreed to anything and done everything for her, but now, he wasn't sure.

Looking to her hands, she swallowed. "Please do not let him bind my hands again."

His eyes flew to hers, meeting the pain as she forced out the last of the sentence. It wasn't something she asked lightly and he knew that it being said to him made it even harder. He was the only one who knew why she didn't like her hands tied, who knew almost the full truth of her childhood and it made him feel worse for having not done anything more for her the night before. He assumed that a part of him wanted her to feel part of his pain.

"I will try." Kahlan nodded and began moving, needing to get away from him so that a breath would come freely. "No," Richard added while his hand grabbed her arm. "An hour."

Her eyes closed and she nodded, hoping to hide everything she felt within. He could not know of the torment and pain, the fear and weakness. She remained still until he moved away, then moving to face the fire. With her back to him, she warmed her hands in what was left of the flames, she was freezing and yet her blood felt like it was on fire, two feelings that were lost to her as she thought. She wished things were different, that she could go back to the moment she decided to climb down to his bedroom and stop herself. If she had remained in her own room, this moment would not exist, it couldn't.

"She shouldn't stay with us," Cara said as Richard stepped beside her. "She's a distraction and we can't waste time waiting for her."

"I won't send her back, she is safer with us."

"She will slow us down."

"Perhaps, but we can't leave her behind. I need her."

"You've already had her, she has nothing left for you."

Anger filled him as he turned toward her, "You will not speak about her that way, do you understand me? If you do, it will not be her I send away, it will be you and the rest of your life will be spent in exile."

"As you wish, Lord Rahl," she said softly.

"You're staring."

"You're in pain."

Slowing her walk, she glanced over her shoulder at him. "I'm fine."

"You're bleeding."

Lifting her right hand, she looked down at the palm. "It's just a cut. I must have scraped it during the fight."

"Kahlan-"

Coming to a stop, the Mother Confessor turned and held his gaze. "Why do you care?"

"Why wouldn't I?"

Shrugging her shoulders, she took in a deep breath and looked away. "You left, you don't have the right to care anymore."

"You laid beneath him, you don't have the right to tell me what-"

"I laid with him in more ways than you can imagine and I have every right to do anything that I please."

He stepped in close and held his eyes on hers, the intensity nearly knocking her to the ground. "He couldn't have been very good, your room was silent."

"I must have been too loud for you to hear." Closing the distance between them, she bumped her chest against his. "The pleasure that man provided-"

"Was nothing in comparison."

"Is all I will ever desire." She succeeded. The expression on his face was what she aimed for, a pain that at last, she believed matched hers. "Now you feel as much as me."

"You don't have feelings."

"You're right," she replied through a whisper. "I can't feel anything anymore." It was a complete lie, of course, she could feel everything and the heat of his body made it even worse. She wanted him to push into her and demand that she feel more, but he didn't. "This was a mistake wasn't it? Coming with you-"

"It was all a mistake." With tears collecting in her eyes, she turned and began walking away, needing to get away from him. She walked maybe five feet when he reached out for her and brought her to a stop. "You feel the same way, don't you?"

"I do now."

"Kahlan-"

"I didn't think it was a mistake until this moment. Had you been there when I awoke, I never would have taken Tony as my mate." He stared at her in surprised confusion, waiting for an explanation. "It was a mistake to lay with you, but not because of what we did. It was a mistake to think that it meant anything."

"How can you say that?!"

"How?!" she said loudly. "You left me in the middle of the night and you want to know how I can say-"

"Of course I left! How could I stay knowing that after everything, you would take another man to your bed? You expect me to have been at your side, encouraging you to spread your legs?!"

She slapped him, enraged by his words. "Isn't that what you did? You encouraged me before we shared your bed, why would you stop?"

"Because you're mine!" With a huff, he stepped back and looked around, hoping that none of the others heard what was being said or saw what happened. "I laid beside you, for an hour, trying not to wake you as I- I wanted to demand that you be mine alone."

"Why didn't you?"

"Because I know what being with me will do to you."

Shoving her hands against his chest, she let out a soft growl, something typically released from him. "And you think of that after we laid together?! Did you think about what that would do to me? You had no right to make that decision on your own!"

"I had to!" he shouted back at her. "One of us had to stop this!"

"Congratulations Seeker, you've ended it. You have ended everything." His hold on her arm loosened and she took the moment to move away, walking without a look back to him over her shoulder. One glance and she knew the tears would rain down her cheeks, ripping the illusion that it didn't hurt.

She wanted to turn around and slap him once more, to attack and pray for the moment he begged her to stop, but she didn't. Laying her hands on her stomach, she straightened her back and closed her eyes for a moment. She could feel the magic within her, giving her something to focus on, something that brought a smile to her lips at every thought. There was nothing like it, a feeling she would never be able to explain and as long as she held onto it, she prayed it would keep her safe from pain.

The others were waiting a few minutes away and heard almost every word, but said nothing as she walked into view. Her hands were still on her stomach, a small smile lingering on her lips while her eyes held tears. Zedd turned as she approached, letting her take hold of his arm in a small gesture of understanding and she took it without hesitation. Her body began to relax as they continued on, finding his closeness comforting, the smell of the berries and bread he had eaten lingering around them.

"Do you have any berries left?" she asked hopefully.

The wizard chuckled and reached into his pocket. "I have a few-"

"Handfuls?"

"Of course!" he told her joyfully. "The Mord'Sith has been eating everything, if we don't save things, we will starve."

"Indeed we will." Taking a few of the red fruit in his hand, Kahlan sighed, "Do you believe I made the wrong decision?"

"No," the wizard replied instantly. "Richard is not the kind of man who would accept anything less. Bringing Tony with us, it may be the only thing keeping him from trying to convince you to start a life together."

"I believe taking a mate did that for me."

"We both know Richard, he would have found a way to believe something else. As long as you keep your mate near, he will not-"

"You can feel it, can't you? The magic?"

Nodding, he gave her a sad smile. "Yes. A strong one grows within you; I am surprised he does not feel the strength of it."

"I won't tell him," she said quietly, knowing what was now in the older man's head. "After we find the stone, I will return to Aydindril and continue on as the other Confessors before me, but I swear to you that I will give her everything possible."

"I know, dear one. My great granddaughter is in safe hands. You have a decision to make, Kahlan. Her magic-"

"I fear no matter what choice I make, I am disappointing someone." Meeting his eyes for a moment, she slowed her pace. "If I try to have the Rahl magic removed, I feel that is removing a part of him from her, a part of you as well."

"I understand the importance, Kahlan. I will not be upset should you chose to remove a section of the magic."

"She might."

"Perhaps it is a choice only she can make."

"I don't want her to lose part of him."

Zedd came to a stop, bringing her with him. "You cannot hold onto him through the child. It will be too painful for anyone to bare."

"She is all that I have."

"Is that not painful enough?"

"I have felt worse," she admitted as her mind retraced the past days. From the moment she awoke alone in his bed to the last words she spoke to him, she has felt a pain unlike all others, one she was sure would never end. "I never meant for this to happen."

"What did you plan would happen when you climbed down to his bedroom?"

Shrugging, she allowed them to continue walking. "I'm not sure. I- I don't think I have ever been so scared before... All I could think of was seeing him and hoping that he would make it go away. He has that way about him. I look over and he smiles, anything really and suddenly the world is not as terrible. I wanted my friend."

"I'm sorry, dear one."

"So am I." Glancing over to him, she half smiled. "I never had a friend before Richard and now I've lost it." Looking back to the trail ahead of them, she tried to focus on the trees around it. "I used to wonder what it was like... I can't help but feel like he was a better friend to me than anyone could be to another."

"He cares for you."

"Not anymore."

"I find it difficult to believe he could stop. I've known him his whole life and there has never been anyone in his life that he has cared for more."

"There will be," she said softly. "He's the kind of man... He will find someone."

"Yes, some day, he will have the family he wishes for."

"I'm sorry I did not heed your warning. I should have known better than to doubt a wizard of the first order."

Zedd chuckled, surprising her. "Yes, we wizard's are always right, but you did not do this intentionally. I understand the desires to have a different life, but that one night is all the two of you can have."

"That is something you do not have to worry about. There is nothing left between us."

"And I fear you are wrong."


	5. Chapter 5

"Are you alright, Mistress?"

Looking up from her bowl of uneaten soup, Kahlan forced a smile. "I'm fine, maybe a little tired."

"What do you want me to do?"

"Nothing," she replied sadly. "I'm going to rest. Help the others in every way you can."

"Yes, mistress." With an eager nod, he rushed away, walking over to the Seeker, who was poking a stick into the fire. Kneeling down, he grinned as their eyes met, annoying the other man fully. "I was instructed to help-"

"I don't need your help."

"I-"

Richard looked over the bigger man's shoulder, watching as the Mother Confessor pulled at the blanket above her. "Go back to her and keep her warm."

Tony frowned and sat back on his heels. "I cannot. She doesn't like for me to touch her."

Confused, Richard blinked. "What?"

Lowering his eyes in embarrassment, Tony lowered his voice. "My mistress has given me instruction, I am not to touch her without invitation or feeling the need."

"When did as she last ask you to..."

"The morning before we left Aydindril."

"What did she ask you to do?"

Shifting his position, the bigger man tried to get comfortable. "She asked to hug me."

"Oh."

"She- Would it be alright if I asked you something?"

"What?"

"Why does she feel the way she does when she looks at you?"

Shaking his head, Richard shrugged. "I don't know, how does she feel?"

"I'm not sure I can explain it. I've never known that kind of pain." Darting his eyes to the fire, Tony sighed. "I want to make her happy."

Looking over to her, Richard sighed. "Me too. Do you feel the child?"

"No."

"Can you feel anything other than her... pain?"

"She's excited for the child, I can feel her heart race. It's almost like it was when she chose me."

"Did you please her, when you gave her the child?" He didn't know why he asked, but he couldn't stop himself. He knew how it had been for them, but he wanted to know if it was different.

"I... I did my best."

"What does that mean?"

"I should not speak of my time with my mistress."

"She told you to help me, I need to know what happened."

Looking over to the, now sleeping, woman, Tony frowned. "I did my best to please her, but I wasn't able to give her enough. It was not me she wanted to be with and it was not my name she whispered when she closed her eyes." Turning his head back to Richard, he was surprised to meet his eyes, the other man eagerly awaiting more of the story. "I disappointed my mistress, but she didn't want me to stop. I could feel her exhaustion, but I pushed forward and harder anything to give her what she needed, but it was almost as though I was not there. It upset her. I've never felt anything like it before. She was filled with so many emotions, I don't know how she could breathe."

"She seemed to be fine."

"She is very good at hiding her pain."

Shaking his head, the Seeker went back to poking at the fire with a stick. "She carries your child, she no longer has a reason to feel any pain."

"But she does. I can feel it as strong as the fire's warmth."

"It will pass, once she gives birth."

"I fear it will only grow worse."

"Why?" Richard asked slightly annoyed.

"Because of you."

"How-"

"You're the reason my mistress feels this way."

"She feels this way on her own-"

"You are a blind and foolish man."

"Tony," Kahlan's voice echoed around them. "Leave the Seeker alone."

"Do you want me to lay with you, mistress?"

She looked to Richard for a moment, hoping for anything other than the expression he held firmly. "Yes," she whispered softly. "I would like that."

The bigger man jump to his feet, nearly tripping over them as he hurried to her side. The Seeker watched as the other man settled down and inched closer, his arm laying over her stomach the way his used to. She whispered something and suddenly Richard lost it.

Coming to his feet, he reached for his sword and with a tight grip, he began walking into the forest. The anger whispered in his ears, laughing at his weakness to feel the pain. He wanted to go back and grab her arm, pull her into the trees and take her again and again, telling her who she belonged to. He wanted to break every bone in the other man's body and then watch as he tried to please her. He wanted to do so many things, each more horrible than the one before and the worst was yet to reach his mind. As he slammed his left fist into the bark of a thick oak, he imagined them taking her together, her perfect form lost between them as their bodies rocked, thrusted and pawed at hers. He wanted to hear her pant in a cross of pain and arousal, her body taking everything they gave and with no protest. She would do it, he told himself. If he desired to have her in that way, she would not stop him, she couldn't. His mind began to fill with thoughts of the others together, the way they might have been in their one night of pleasure. He hated the thought that he may have taken her in any of the ways she had shared with him.

"Seeker-"

"What?!" Richard shouted as he turned around. He was confused to see Tony standing in front of him, holding Kahlan's travel pack.

"My mistress asked me to come to you. She- Your hand is injured, I am to care for it."

"I'm fine," he snapped angrily. "Go back and crawl onto her."

"I cannot. I am to aid you. My mistress does not like it when you are hurt. Please, you must allow me to help you."

"And if I don't?"

"My mistress will come to you." He was in front of him in seconds, his body so close, it nearly knocked Richard down. "I cannot let her do that. It is you who hurts her and I must keep her safe. You will allow me to tend to your wounds."

"What did she whisper to you?"

Lowering his eyes, Tony took a step back. "I am not to talk to you in that way. I disappointed her and I should not have spoke of our night together. I had no right to aid your pain."

"That's what she said?"

"Yes." He growled for a moment and then reached into the pack. "I do not understand my mistress."

Richard nearly laughed, "Neither do I."

"I wish that I made her happy."

The Seeker nodded in understanding, fully knowing how the man felt. "Me too." Shaking his head, he decided to change the conversation, hoping to learn more about the Confessor and her choices. "Do you know why she chose you?"

"I was different," he stated softly, wrapping the last of the cloth around Richard's slightly bloody hand. "She stared at us for a long time, asking questions and then she chose me."

"What did she ask?"

"She wanted to know why we were there and if we were sorry for what we did."

"Were you?"

"No, but she told me that it was alright to feel that way, that she would give he a chance to do something greater with my life. She gave me purpose."

"She does that to people," he mused. "Now you've helped the line of Confessors to continue." Tony frowned for a brief moment, long enough to catch the other man's eyes. "What?"

"I do not want the child to disappoint her."

"I don't think she will. Kahlan will love her, very much." Stepping back, he turned away so the man wouldn't see his eyes close in pain. "You can go back to her now, she will not be upset with you."

"Thank you, Seeker!" he replied in excitement.

Richard turned just in time to see him racing away, making the anger return. 'It should be you beside her.' the sword hissed. 'Get him before he reaches her. These are dangerous woods, anything could have happened to him.' The thought was more than appealing, but Richard couldn't shake the feeling of knowing what it would do to her to raise the child without her father. 'You can step in,' it reasoned. 'Raise her as your own, ensuring your place.'

"She does not want me," he told it aloud. "She has taken another, if he does, she will do it again."

'Kill him and you will see, she will need you and all of the protection you will provide. Dangerous woods...' His sword began to take his mind down a path he was sure he wanted to abandon, but it didn't stop. It returned his thoughts to the Mother Confessor trapped between the two men, only now, he imagined her in tears.

"Enough!" he shouted at himself as he threw the sword to the ground.

'You can have her one more time. Hurry, take her.'

Dropping to his knees, Richard covered his face with his hands and screamed as his body leaned forward. He felt sick and the thoughts wouldn't leave his mind, each holding on with strength until he could feel nothing.

Someone was approaching and from the sound of their footsteps, he knew who it was. He was ready to fight, but to his surprise, they knelt down calmly beside him.

"Are you alright?"

"Fine," he whispered, ignoring the pain that shot through him as she laid her hand on his shoulder.

Turning his head toward her, Kahlan inched closer as he shoved his hand into her stomach. "No, you're not." She leaned over him with great speed, reaching for the sword that gave him relief in its magic. Her action only made it worse as he shoved her to the ground, not able to handle having her so close. "Richard!" she half shouted in anger and half concern. "Take the sword!"

"No!" he shouted back as he stumbled to his feet. His head was pounding, quickly becoming the worst he had ever felt.

Kahlan followed after him, not having to go very far with him hardly able to move. "Richard take the sword! You will die if you don't!"

"And if I do, I'll kill you!" he replied as he collapsed to his knees yet again. He could feel his blood boiling in anger, knowing that the instant he held the weapon once more, she would be at the receiving end of its wrath. "Get away from me!"

She didn't know how she managed to do it, but within a blink, she was kneeling before him with her right arm wrapped beneath his left and holding his shoulder. "I'm not going to leave you," she whispered as she brought the sword to his right hand. "Take it, as long as I remain close, you won't be able to hurt me with it." Her voice was calm and sure, the way it had always been when she spoke to him. The tone making him believe anything she said and somehow feel it to be true, but he could not trust himself in this moment. With each thought of reaching for the sword, he saw it ending in one way, with the metal sliding through her chest. "Please take it... It will make the headache go away."

With every ounce of his strength, he wrapped his left arm around her and pulled roughly until he was sure she could be no closer and then as he wrapped his finger around the hilt, he pushed his lips against hers. It was supposed to be his goodbye, a part of him expecting to fall over dead once he reconnected with the sword's magic, but he didn't and to his surprise and confused anger, she returned his kiss in full. Holding the sword tightly, he leaned forward until she was laying on the ground beneath him, doing just what the metal told him to. He tore through the laces with a single pull and one hand, reaching inside to touch her skin without hesitation. She let out a soft and familiar moan, one he couldn't shake the feeling that only he knew. He was rough and knew it had to hurt her, but she didn't stop him, she didn't want to.

From the way he moved and growled, she knew what his mind was set on doing, what was keeping him from killing them both. He was claiming her. His teeth marked her neck and shoulders, his free hand bruising everything else. She tried to remain still, to hold back her desire and passion for him in the hopes that she could keep her own magic at bay, but as his hand slipped beneath her dress, she found it impossible. She spoke his name in a heated breath and his mind snapped.

Shoving her legs apart with his, Richard held his forehead to hers and pushed his fingers forward until she let out a cry of pain, one he seemed to have eagerly awaited. He didn't let up as she gasped for air, his body now pushing against hers and slowing her breath, the weight of him coming down upon her fully. Their eyes were locked and he waited for her plea of mercy, but it didn't come. Strengthening his every position, he watched the tears collect in her eyes as she struggled to breathe and then pushed just a little harder.

"Is this how he took you?" he growled in her face. "No?" he questioned as she remained silent, her words unable to flow even if she wanted them to. The only sound that left her was a gasp of relief as he removed his hand and began unlacing his pants. "How-"

"Mistress!" Tony shrieked as he came into view.

He started to run toward them, but stopped as Kahlan turned her head just enough to shift her body for a breath. "No!" The big man froze in confusion, unsure as to what was happening when his eyes now saw what made her feel the way she did. He could feel her pain, excitement and fear, but he couldn't understand why she didn't want him to help her.

"What's the matter?" Richard asked her angrily. "He can join us. I'm sure you would enjoy-"

"Go back to the others, Tony! Go back and do not speak of this!"

"No! Come here! You want to please your mistress don't you?" Tony stood still as Richard looked up. "The pleasures we can give her-"

"Tony, go now!"

Something in her voice held Richard's attention, part of him seeming to realize what was happening. She wasn't screaming at him or begging him to stop, though he doubted that it would have made a difference. She laid beneath him and the tears in her eyes were the only thing to give away the truth of her emotions. He didn't see when the other man left, but he knew they were alone and the sword hissed its anger. His mind spun with so many images, he wasn't sure which was taking place. He wanted her to say something, to speak the one thing he knew she would never say.

Her heart was pounding, hitting her chest and thumping against his as he continued to lay close. The pulse vein in her neck jerked along, giving yet another piece of proof for him to witness. She remained silent, watching him with an expression that told him that she knew what he was thinking, she could see the thoughts. Her eyes closed the moment he made a decision, fearing the worst.

Richard rolled off of her and onto his back at her side, screaming in agony while his body demanded he return to her warmth. She didn't run away in a panic, but he thought she should have and part of him prayed that she would. If she was to go anywhere, she would be safe. All she had to do was leave him. With tears in her eyes, she sat forward and turned toward him, covering his mouth with her hand in the hopes that he would not wake the others. No one could know what had just happened, not even those closest to them.

He turned his head away with a growl, gritting his teeth to keep from saying something that lingered on his tongue. "Please go away," he managed to whisper out with his eyes closed.

"I can't leave you like this."

"Get-"

"You will not order me again," she said to him. "You aren't you right now."

"Yes, I am."

"I know you, remember?"

Shaking his head, he opened his eyes to stare out into the darkness. "No, you don't. If you did, you never would have taken him to your bed."

"That's not what angers you, is it?"

"Go away."

"Richard-"

"I don't want to be near you! Everything about you makes me angry and I- I just want it to stop..."

"Me leaving you alone here to think about it all, isn't going to help."

"Kahlan, please..."

"I'll go if you answer one question for me, honestly."

"No."

"Then I'm not leaving."

Turning toward her, he snorted angrily and reached to her throat with his left hand, squeezing. "Get away from me!"

Shaking her head slowly, she struggled to find her next breath without letting her eyes leave his. "O."

Throwing her back forcefully, he moved to his knees and made his way toward her, lifting his sword. "I don't want you here! Go or I will cut-"

"Don't you say it," she interrupted in what started as anger, then passed to pain. "Spirits, Richard don't say that." It was almost the first time, since she came to him, that she gave off any emotion and it didn't fade like he thought it would. Her tears multiplied rapidly and before she could stop herself, she reacted. Shoving her hands against his chest, she pushed and watched him fall back, enjoying the short moment of power. "You can't say that! You, of all people! I know that you cannot care for this child, but I beg of you not to- Spirits, Richard..." Turning away, she wiped her cheeks and tried to calm herself, failing as she listened to his heavy breathing behind her. "You left and now I carry a child, you-"

"You shouldn't have taken him."

Looking over her shoulder to him, Kahlan frowned. "What did you expect me to do? Richard, I thought I wouldn't have to take a mate. I thought that you and I would spend the day... I woke up and you were gone. You cannot be angry with me for doing what I had to do."

"You didn't have to-"

Spinning around, she shoved him once more. "What did you want me to do? Run out and find you? If you wanted to be with me, you never should have left your bed."

She was gone before he could process her words and before the wind finished carrying them to his ears. He was left alone in the dark with his anger and sword, thinking.

Richard was sitting by the fire when she woke up, ignoring the hard stare Tony was giving him. When she sat up, he rushed over, forgetting to be upset with the Seeker as he came to her side.

"I need you to find us something for breakfast. You're a skilled hunter, find a few squirrel."

"Yes, Mistress!"

He had spent more than an hour, the night before, trying to comfort her, but once she allowed him to hold her, some of the pain faded. She had whispered to him, making sure he knew not to speak of what he had seen and that it wasn't the man they knew who had acted that way. The magic of the sword and the jealousy within him was a terrible mix, one she was sure of because the man she loved was far different.

"Did you stay awake all night?"

"I don't know," he whispered.

"Richard-"

"It wasn't a dream, was it?"

She wanted to tell him that it was, to pretend that she knew nothing about what he spoke of, but she couldn't lie to him any longer. "No." He only nodded, his eyes remaining on the dying flames as though they were breathing his last few breaths. "Richard," she whispered, "it wasn't you."

"Yes, it was. I've- I have had those thoughts before."

"Which ones?"

His head snapped in her direction, silently screaming at her for asking such a question, but from the expression on her face, he knew she believed what she said. She didn't think he was capable of the thoughts he had of the things he did and he wanted to hate her for it. She shouldn't think him to be better than he is, it wasn't fair. "All of them."

Her face remained the same, somehow expecting the response. "When you're holding the sword and after I took him as my mate?"

"Yes," he nodded. "But they are still me. These are my thoughts and how-" Looking to the others, who were now awake, he stopped himself. "We should get moving."

"What's wrong?" Zedd asked his grandson as they walked ahead of the others.

"Would you be able to name a new Seeker?"

The wizard stopped dead frozen at his words. "What?"

"I can't do this anymore, Zedd. I need to get-"

"You cannot quit now, Richard. You are close to finding the stone and I fear that it is you alone, who can do it. I know you're angry, upset that Kahlan has chosen a mate, but-"

"Last night I- Zedd, I should not be here. I can hurt her again."

"What did you do?"

"Zedd, please... I am no use to any of you like this and if I have done terrible things to you, what will I do to others?"

Studying his grandson's face, the older man frowned. "What happened last night?"

A part of him wanted to tell him, wanting someone to be angry with him. Kahlan wasn't upset and he considered it a mercy, but he couldn't stand the thought that he would get away with such treatment. The other half of him wanted to keep quiet to keep the stillness of the Mother Confessor a secret. His mind was still trying to wrap around it, desperately trying to understand what it was that made her lay beneath him without protest, even when he began to go too far. Could she truly trust him so much that she would allow him to do as he pleased, no matter how much it hurt her? If she did, he reasoned with himself, it would mean that she loved him and again, if she did, she never would have taken Tony.

"I almost lost control of the anger," he managed to reply. It was partly the truth, making the words come out a little easier. "Zedd, if I wanted to get rid of the magic-"

"You cannot let it win," the wizard said. "You are strong enough to handle this. You must-"

"The things I wanted to do, they should not be allowed to be thought."

"Did you do them?"

"Many. Please, I don't want to hurt her anymore."

"Spirits, Richard, what did you do?"

"He let the sword fuel his anger," Kahlan piped in as she reached the two men. "It seemed to be stronger last night than many of the others."

"Kahlan-"

"It's alright, Zedd. If you would give me a moment with him, I-"

"No," Richard said at once with a step backward. "You can't leave me alone with her."

"Give him the sword," she said softly, her eyes holding his. When he was free of the magic, his eyes dimmed, the pain filling him completely. "Richard, last night was not your fault, not entirely. Had I stayed away-"

"You cannot justify what I did, Kahlan and how- You have no part in the blame. I am the one who attacked you." He lowered his voice as he spoke and took a step closer. "Spirits, I- I tried to... What kind of person does that make me? Kahlan I wanted to- I was excited when I thought he was-" He cut himself off with a growl of frustration.

"It wasn't you alone. Richard, I know you and the things you did last night, they are not a part of you."

"How do you know?"

Laying her right hand on his cheek, she continued to stare into his eyes. "Because I spent a night with you, remember? Richard everything about that night was different and I know that I don't have the experience to know how it should be, but-"

"Not like that," he said instantly. "Never-"

"Do you see? Richard there was a piece of you that was lost to the sword, it wasn't your intention to hurt me."

"Yes, it was. Kahlan how can you stand there and say that I- I've wanted to hurt you since you claimed your mate! I've wanted to do so many things... I have wanted nothing more than to hurt you for taking someone else."

"And now that you have?" she whispered painfully. "Have you hurt me the way you wanted?"

"Kahlan-"

"What more do you need to do?"

"Nothing."

Nodding, she moved back and looked to the ground. "Alright. Now we can push forward and try to forget-"

"I'll never forget, Kahlan."

Bringing her eyes back to his, she frowned. "Neither will I," she whispered.

"I'm sorry, Kahlan."

"I know."

He grabbed her arm as she began to turn away, needing to say one more thing. "Keep him with you. I can't- I don't want to hurt you again."

"Alright."

He watched her sleep, being sure to keep from his sword as she soaked in the warmth of the other man next to her. She was only doing what he told her to, keeping him close to protect her from him and yet, it still felt like a betrayal. Her back was facing the bigger man and Richard was almost able to convince himself it was because she knew he needed to see her. Even when she slept, she looked exhausted, beautiful and breathtaking, but it was the only time his eyes were allowed to linger. Tony watched him in the same way he had that morning, a hawk waiting for the right moment to strike. It would come, the Seeker was sure of it and a part of him was glad that someone would protect her. It was her alone, that kept him from reaching to his sword. The headache was nothing in comparison to the pain he had seen in her eyes. He would welcome all other pain to avoid that one.

Tony reached down and touched her cheek, taking his eyes off of Richard for a moment. When he was satisfied with whatever he wanted, he came to his feet and walked over to the other man. The Seeker said nothing as he knelt down, his gaze so powerful, it held he intensity of Kahlan's.

"My mistress is in pain."

"I know."

"No," Tony said quickly, knowing what the other man assumed. "She has been hurt, but I have been unable to tend- Please, she will let you help her."

"What-"

"There is blood on the back of her dress," he informed him through a whisper. "She hoped her hair would hide it, but I saw and I tried to help, but she- My mistress will not let me help her. Please, she is in pain and I can't-"

Nodding, Richard laid his hand on his shoulder and squeezed, a quick reassurance for the big man. "It's alright, I will see what I can do." They were standing beside her when she opened her eyes, both seeing the panic that crossed her face as she looked up and saw them both. Richard's mind flew to the night before, wondering if she thought they would hurt her. "How's your back?"

Kahlan turned to Tony, who looked down in shame at once, then dropped to his knees. "Forgive me, mistress! I did not want you to hurt!"

Licking her lips, the Mother Confessor nodded, giving him a small smile. "It's alright, I understand. I am not upset with you." Bringing her deep blue eyes to the brown ones she knew too well, she shrugged. "I must have scrapped the skin. It is nothing that will not heal."

"It could be infected."

"Yes, but it will heal."

"Kahlan-"

Lowering her eyes, she swallowed. "I am afraid to remove my dress with you near."

Richard felt his heart stop at once, his body shaking. "I'll wake Zedd. He will tend to your wound and I will... I will not be close."

He woke the wizard quickly and then walked into the trees, moving as fast as his legs would take him. The action surprised the older man, but he said nothing as he helped Kahlan with her dress, doing his best not to rip the skin when it was proven to be melding into the wound.

"What happened?"

"I fell onto a rock," she told him, trying to be as honest as possible. "I didn't realize it was this bad until Tony saw the blood."

"And Richard?"

"He doesn't know." Tony growled at her words and was instantly granted a hard look.

"Does this have to do with what happened last night?"

"It does," she replied honestly vague once more.

"Mother Confessor, I want answers."

Releasing a sigh, she held her mate's eyes to keep him in line as she spoke, doing her best to keep the story in their favor. "Richard fought the anger again and it was worse than before. I sent Tony to help him, but when he returned, I realized there was something more and I went after him. He was angry, we fought... I fell and now we are here."

"You fought?"

"Words were said," she added as she looked up to the wizard. "You know how we feel, Zedd. It has been hard on us both and last night, I think we reached the point we never wanted."

"Did he hurt you?"

"I have given you your answers, wizard. I shall give no more."

The expression on the wizard's face haunted her instantly. He was not a foolish man, she was sure he was putting the pieces together and from the look in his eyes, she knew he had figured it out. "Spirits, Kahlan-"

"The wound, wizard. You were awaken to attend to-"

"How could you say nothing? Spirits, what-"

"It wasn't him, Zedd. We both know that. The magic within him is channeling something else, something more... We know Richard; he would never hurt me. Even if I took a man before him, he would never... The man I saw last night, it wasn't Richard." She was looking into his heavy grey eyes as she spoke, holding the gaze as though she was trying to convince him that her words were true, convincing herself in the process. "He will not allow it to take over him again, I am sure. Zedd, he... You cannot let this weigh him down. He needs you, he needs guidance and training. We will not survive this world in this condition, we won't be able to let him."

"He will be trained in time-"

"We do not have the time, Zedd!" She hadn't meant to shout, but now the memory of the previous night was blaring in her mind and she hated to think that the man she loved, the gentle, caring and just man that she loved would remained the heartless shell she met. "You cannot give him more time to grow in the sword's rage, we cannot let that become of him!"

"Had you not taken a mate, we may have had time to-"

Kahlan jumped to her feet in shock, knocking both men off their balance. "You are blaming me?! How dare you!" She was standing over him in a huff, her own anger swelled. Holding her dress to her chest, she blinked out her tears. "You know how hard that was for me! You know how I feel! How dare you blame me for this! I had no other choice and I will not apologize for any of it! It is YOU who is to blame! You knew the magic could be within him, he is your grandson!" With a deep breath, she turned on her heels and walked into the forest, forgetting the purpose of waking the older man.

She had walked farther than she realized when she came to a small pond and dropped to her knees in a quiet sob. When she opened her eyes, she nearly jumped into the water, hoping for a moment of relief, but someone grabbed her waist instead.

"Don't do that," Richard whispered as she turned toward him. "You don't want to get your dress wet at night, it will be uncomfortable to sleep in." He moved back as their eyes met, not wanting to upset her any farther. "I'm sorry, I know you don't want me to be-"

"No, it's alright." His eyes dropped to her back and she twisted in reflex, letting him see the wound. "It doesn't feel very bad."

"I imagine it's numb."

"It has been for a few hours."

"Zedd should clean it before he-"

"Would you mind?" she asked as she ripped a small piece of her dark, green skirt.

"Are you sure?"

She only nodded as he took the cloth, unable to find words as she turned her head away to stare into the darkness of the trees around them. From the corner of her eye, she could see him dip the skirt in the water and slowly bring it to her back, using his left hand to push aside her hair. His touch was gentle as she had always known it to be and it made her heart race. He let some of the water drip over the wound, hoping to make it easier on her when he pushed the cloth against her skin, noticing the small white fibers in the dried blood.

"When did you-"

"Last night."

He was silent for a moment, trying to find a better set of words than, "I'm sorry."

"I know."

"I don't mean the wound, not alone," he whispered. He didn't know why he spoke so softly, but he was grateful for it, knowing that the world shouldn't hear his words. "I never wanted to-"

"I know," she repeated. "You don't have to say anything."

"Yes, I do. Kahlan, I know that I wanted to hurt you, but I never wanted it to go that far."

"You're angry with me."

"No, yes, but I... What I did-"

"I won't apologize for what I did. I can't and I know that I hurt you, but it wasn't my intention."

"You took a mate-"

"I had to." Turning her head, she met his eyes. "When you let me into your room, I thought it was done, but when I woke up and you were gone... I had no choice."

"You had a choice, Kahlan."

"You made every decision I could have with us when you left that morning."

"If I had stayed, would you have claimed me?"

"I don't know, maybe not the way I would any other."

"I thought I was doing the right thing," he admitted for the first time. "I didn't want to be the reason you never became a mother."

"And what made you believe you couldn't give me a child?"

"You would never risk another night with me. Kahlan, I know how hard it was for you. I could see the magic in your eyes and feel your body shake to hold it in."

"I wasn't shaking from the magic," she told him softly. "And I would have held on until it killed me."

"I couldn't let you do that."

"You did that night."

He smiled for a moment as he let his mind remember the night. "Your magic didn't return for most of our time together. You may have felt it rising in your touch, but I looked into your eyes, Kahlan. I looked again and again, dreading the moment you would throw me from you. When I saw it, I nearly stopped, but I couldn't bring myself to move away from you." With a quiet sigh, he looked back to the wound on her back. "I knew you wouldn't hurt me. I wasn't afraid of you letting it go."

"I wanted to," she said through a whisper. "And I keep looking back on it. I remember thinking that if I released my magic, it was over and I wouldn't be alone anymore. If I confessed you, I would never have to be afraid that you wanted to leave me, but then I kept thinking that maybe I could have the life other women do. I thought at least, for one night, I would be like everyone else."

"You'll never be like everyone else, but not because of your magic."

Looking at him over her shoulder she blinked. "You don't have to say that."

"I'm not saying it to make you feel better, I'm saying it because it is true. You are not like other women, you're smart, strong and graceful, beautiful and wise, everything about you Kahlan, you're better than them."

"I appreciate that."

"You'll never be able to see yourself the way I do."

"I'm not sure you can see me that way."

"K-"

She turned around, making sure her dress was held to her chest as she faced him. "I need to know- I know that I have no right to ask, but I'm afraid that I will go mad if I don't try to understand."

"You can ask me anything you'd like."

"Why did you leave that morning?"

He stared at her, wondering if he should tell her the truth. "Because I began to picture a life with you, one I knew would hold you back." Moving away, he crossed his legs before him and slowly leaned forward until his elbows rested on his knees. "I watched you sleep for over an hour, trying not to wake you between kissing your shoulder and sliding my hand down your stomach. I felt you take in breath after breath and I wanted so badly to give you a child... I could see it all so clearly and then I had to leave."

"Why?"

"Because taking a mate was your duty and I realized that you would never claim me."

"I shared your bed," she whispered in a tone that was filled with pain. "Had I been any other woman, that would have been enough."

He turned his head quickly, instantly reaching out for her. "No, spirits, no. Kahlan, I didn't think-"

"That giving myself to you would mean nothing to me?"

"Kahlan-"

"I know," she whispered. "How did you think I would feel?"

"I don't know," he replied honestly as he darted his eyes to the ground.

She could see his mind in thought, searching for an answer to give her. "Your turn," she said to ease his mind. When he looked up at her in confusion, she half smiled. "I asked you a question, it's only fair that you do the same of me."

"I don't-"

"Yes, you do. It's alright, I'll answer anything you ask to the best I am able."

Before he could stop himself, he blurted out the one question that he never thought he would ask. "Why didn't you stop me?"

He didn't have to explain to get her to understand what it was he meant. He was referring to the night before, when he nearly rapped her. It was a surprise for him to speak such a question and from the look in his eyes, he truly needed the answer. "Many reasons. Some I am sure are silly, but the others... Richard, I know you, I think in some ways better than you do and I could see the fight in your eyes." Turning her head, she looked out into the darkness, her mind filled with thoughts, images and sounds from the night before, each one raining as though it was happening in this moment. "There were moments when I was terrified, but I kept thinking that it wasn't you. You would never... There was a point when I began to feel differently, almost excited, I think. You knew I had my magic back, but you didn't stop or run away in fear of it. I found myself wondering what would happen if I let it all go." Meeting his eyes, she blinked, realizing it had been some time since she had done so last and her eyes were filled with tears. "I didn't stop you because you wanted to take me and I wanted to let it happen."

"Why?"

"Because I wanted to believe that a part of you loved me enough to believe I was worth it." Turning her head once again, she closed her eyes and let the wind blow past her face, soaking in the smell of the trees. "Then you wanted Tony to... I was so confused; I don't think I could have stopped you without a full thought. I couldn't understand why you would want him to be near me and then it all became clear. I told him to leave because I realized that you and I, no matter how we feel, we are going to hurt the other. But last night was different," she added softly. "It wasn't pain you wanted to cause me, it was punishment."

"Kahlan-"

"That's why I didn't stop you."

There was so much he wanted to say, to do, but he couldn't make the words leave his lips. With their eyes locked, he began thinking his thoughts as loudly as possible, nearly screaming them in his mind until he was sure she could hear them. It was one of the things he loved about her, the way they could have a conversation without speaking. Lifting her hand, she brought it to his cheek and slowly have a small smile.

"It's your turn," he managed to whisper after a moment.

"When we find the stone, will you allow yourself to be trained?"

"I don't wish to have it that long," he replied quickly. "Look at what I have done, I can't let myself run free with this darkness."

"May I have one more?" He nodded, almost excepting the next set of words that would leave her mouth. "Will you think about it?"

"If that's what you want me to."

The answer was better than she expected and to keep him from changing his mind she told him, "Your turn."

"What was it like? When you took him..."

She had not expected that question, never once thinking that he would ask. "Exhausting," she whispered distantly. "Boring and fast." Pushing her fingers into the ground, she met the cool texture guide her next thoughts. "I couldn't feel anything, numb and frustrated. I- I wanted so badly to pretend that it was what I wanted, but I couldn't." Bringing her eyes back to his, she found the courage to continue in the expression he held. It was soft, safe and comforting, the way he always was to her. "It was nothing compared to what we had done and I thought that it was because I... Everything I asked him to do, no matter how hard he worked, I felt nothing. It wasn't until he collapsed next to me that I understood what my advisors were trying to prepare me for."

"What?"

"The feeling I'm sure you felt when I brought Tony with us." He darted his eyes away in shame and discovery. He had imagined their night together so many times and in each one, he had thought she enjoyed it, but hearing her talk on it, he felt foolish. "I think I've thought about it more than you," she added after a moment.

"Maybe," he replied, "but I don't believe it's possible."

"I didn't want to take him, Richard."

"But you did and now, now you carry his child." He looked to her stomach, imagining the same impossible things he had the morning after. "You're going to be a wonderful mother, Kahlan."

"I pray that I will be, but I don't think I'll ever stop being scared."

"You don't have anything to be afraid of."

"I have everything to fear."

"No-"

"Would it be alright if I asked a favor of you?"

"What?"

"When we go back to camp... No matter what Zedd says, please do not-"

"You told him?"

"No!" she half shrieked. "I would never tell him what happened. I- I don't know how he figured it out, but..." Meeting his eyes, she frowned. "It's not you he is upset with."

"Why would he be mad at you?"

"It does not matter. Richard, please..."

"I cannot promise anything, no matter how much I want to. I can't seem to hold it away."

"You will," she reassured him easily. "When we find the stone, I promise that I will have someone help you."

With a soft sigh, he shrugged. "I don't think I will be the one to find the stone."

"You're the only one who can."

"Not if I- Here, let me finish cleaning your wound. If it becomes infected-"

She let the subject pass gracefully, knowing that it was a subject as bad as the night before for him. Turning, she gave him full access to her back once more and waited. "What does it look like?"

"It's swollen, I can't understand why you haven't been able to feel more of the pain. Do you feel this..." He laid the redamped cloth against the wound and softly squeezed to release a few drops of water.

"It feels nice, but I only... The water drops are warm."

"Zedd can heal-"

"No, it's alright. I think it looks worse than it is."

"Maybe."

"Can you do that again?"

He almost smiled, at the sound of her voice, the hint of pleasure that rolled free of her lips. "This?" he questioned as he squeezed the cloth once again. He wanted to lean forward and taste her skin, to run his tongue over her shoulder like he had done before, but this wasn't that night. They weren't pulling at each others body in passion while their lips discovered each piece again and again.

She released a low moan as the water dripped down her back, his eyes traveling with each drop. She was covered in bruises, some from the night they shared and others, from their size, came from the other man. From all of the pain she had been feeling, he thought that this, a small amount of pleasure, must come close to being overwhelming.

"You could let yourself soak in the water," he whispered as he pulled back the cloth to return it to the pond. "It might make it feel better."

"Maybe, but it's not the comfort I need."

"What do you need?"

A series of answers flooded her mind at once, many of them being those she couldn't say aloud. "Sleep," she whispered with a soft chuckle. "Deep sleep."

"We can go back-"

"If I return to camp, sleep is the last thing I will have."

"I won't let Zedd-"

"I know." She began lying down instantly, her eyes barely able to keep open while her breathing coming in long slow breaths. She laid on her stomach, crossing her arms to use as a pillow as she faced him, her back still exposed to his gentle touch. He continued to lay the torn cloth against her skin, but now he strayed away from the wound. Her muscles flexed with each touch, accepting the gentle gesture.

"I am sorry, Kahlan."

She moved slowly, her eyes opening as she turned her head toward him, her hand reaching for his. "I know... Thank you."

She didn't let go of his hand, even as she drifted off to sleep, a blessed curse, he thought to himself. The small contact wasn't enough and he could have nothing more. Keeping close, he laid down beside her and took in the features of her face. It wasn't something he hadn't done before, he did it more often than he would ever admit, but as he studied her face this time, he found it difficult to believe that he had missed so much. The darkness beneath her eyes was just the beginning, her lips were not as red as before, now they were a light shade of pink that asked for help in a quiet whisper. She had lost the color in her cheeks, her face pale as though she was close to the keeper's door and there was a small bruise in the shape of his hand that covered part of her throat and a piece of her jaw. He hated the memory of holding her that tightly in his passionate anger. Dropping the piece of her skirt between them, he reached to her face with his, now, free hand and gently traced over her jaw.

Kahlan turned slightly, moving into his touch just as she used to do, a small smile tugging on her lips. He couldn't get is eyes away from her, the beauty of the simple action, the happiness that crossed her face was all he ever wanted to see. He could hear something whispering to him, calling him forward and telling him what to do. It didn't make any sense, he had no hold on his sword and it was nowhere near him, he should not be able to hear its whisper. He acted anyway, hoping that it was right because he wanted nothing more. Rolling onto his back, he released her hand and stretched out his arm, tugging her shoulder gently.

Once was all it took and she was shifting into his arms, bringing herself to lay comfortably in his embrace as they had done so many nights before. He hoped that she couldn't feel his heart pounding beneath her head, thumping like a child in excitement. She was relaxed in his arms, a feeling he hadn't expected from her, especially after the night before. He couldn't understand why she would allow him to be so close, how she could look at him as she had or even allow him to speak. It was another thing that set her apart from all others. Closing his eyes, he prayed that the moment would last, that if only for a few minutes, they were content.


	6. Chapter 6

He awoke as someone stepped into the sunlight, shading his face. Tony stared down at the couple in confusion and fear, not knowing what to do.

"My mistress hasn't awoken."

Shifting his body, Richard took in a deep breath to fight off his annoyance. "She probably needs the rest."

"Her wound..."

The Seeker followed the big man's eyes, turning the beautiful woman to give himself a better view. The wound was nearly gone, only a light scar remaining. He felt a little relieved as he thought that the wizard must have come to them during the night, healing her.

"Zedd-"

"No," he said quickly, shaking his head. "I had been awake. No one left me, she was not healed by the wizard."

"That's impossible. He is the only one who could have healed her. Go back-"

"What's wrong?" Kahlan asked through her sleepy haze.

"Your wound, Tony says Zedd didn't heal it."

She responded almost as though she didn't care, shrugging her shoulders as she rolled onto her back and shielded her eyes from the sun. "He probably didn't."

"Who else could have?"

The Mother Confessor chuckled, a delighted sound to receive to both men. "You."

"I don't know how to do that."

"You have instincts, that's all that is needed. Your heart knows how to use the magic, Richard. It's your mind that is trained."

Shaking his own head, he sat forward in disbelief. "I cannot have done it."

"Why not?"

Standing, he looked down at her half naked body, wishing it was under different circumstances. "Because I have only brought you pain."

He walked away before she could respond, looking back to see her mate trying to cover her chest. He couldn't believe that he had done anything to help her, not after everything else he had thrown in her way, even if his head didn't hurt. It made no sense that he would suddenly aid her after all of the pain, but he couldn't help but wonder if he had. He felt differently knowing the truth in what had happened, for telling her why he had left and he hoped she felt the same way. If she did, maybe their relationship wasn't completely broken, he may still have his friend.

Zedd was eating when Richard returned to camp, a usual sight for him to see. Cara was packing their things, annoyed at the task he had assigned her months ago, but she looked up as he came into view, giving him a small nod. He couldn't help but wonder what had happened the night before after he left them, but from the silence around him, he knew it wasn't something he should speak of. He wanted to yell at his grandfather, but he couldn't find the words and he had promised her that he would try to behave. The thought made him want to laugh, having to be treated like a child.

Kahlan and Tony were behind him, her arm wrapped around his as she leaned against him, sleep still threatening to take her. It was a strange feeling, having slept so deeply the night before, she would have sworn that she had never done so before. Richard turned as they came closer, meeting her eyes for a moment as she gave a small smile, doing her best to ignore the old wizard, who stared in her direction. Tightening her hold on the other man's arm, she swallowed back her own anger that seemed to be growing each day. She carried the Seeker's child, Lord Rahl's child and the anger was within, though it didn't feel as strong. At times, she would swear that she felt a stronger connection between them, a whisper that filled her ears when he was close, helping. She only wished that he felt it, but that night in the trees, when he laid above her in anger, she thought she saw it, she thought that he felt it too.

Releasing a soft sigh, the Seeker picked up his sword and brought it to his waist, tightening it quickly before pulling his hand away with a growl. He held her face in his mind, using it to fuel his strength in fight. Taking in a breath, he gave another glance in her direction and then made up his mind. He returned into the trees without a word, knowing what it was he needed to do.

Their camp was packed up when he returned carrying two squirrels and a rabbit, knowing that the Mother Confessor would be hungry and would not say anything to slow them down. He could almost feel her craving for the rabbit, his own mouth watering as he carried it into sight.

"We'll eat something before we go."

Tony jumped up and hurried toward him, relighting the fire to offer some kind of assistance. "May I help you?"

Richard nodded, a surprise to them all as he handed him the rabbit. "This is Kahlan's."

The man seemed giddy to be given the opportunity to cook, yet again, for his mistress. Taking the animal, he quickly went to work with a wide grin on his face as he looked over to her for the approval she quickly gave.

Richard headache was almost gone, but with his mind filled with the night before, he wasn't sure if he just couldn't feel the pain anymore.

The group ate in partial silence, the only sound coming from Kahlan, who chuckled at the way Tony tried to copy Richard's stance. The others expected him to become agitated, but he found it amusing and the smile on the Mother Confessor's face made it even more so.

The day passed smoothly, the Seeker only feeling the wrath when they came upon a group of banelings and he took it upon himself to protect them all. He only held the sword when it was necessary, making sure he didn't hold the hilt when he walked. It kept his head clear, but the pain began to return. It was a soft pounding at first, but before the sun began to set, he could barely see.

"Maybe we should stop here," Kahlan said after a few minutes of watching his struggle. "I think I'm a little more tired than I realized," she added as Cara looked at her. It wasn't long ago, she had said the same words, doing her best to keep an eye on them both and using the brunette's pregnancy to slow their pace.

"Good," the blonde piped in as she dropped her pack to the ground. "I'll kill something to eat."

Kahlan turned and met the wizard's eyes, a small rival in the moment. "May I speak with you?"

"Kahlan-" Richard started as he realized who she was talking to.

"It's alright," she assured him softly. "Come, wizard."

He followed her into the trees for a few minutes in silence, both needing to move away to keep their conversation between them.

"What is it, Mother Confessor?"

With a grin, she turned around and gave a quick bow of her head. "Thank you." Her words surprised him, but brought a similar smile to his own lips. "Last night... Zedd, he was able to use his magic; without the anger. How did you know it would work?"

"He loves you," he stated as though she was a fool for thinking any differently. "He needed to see you the way he felt. I am sorry I had to do that to you."

"I know." She wanted to cry, but her tears wouldn't fall. "It- If you had told me what you were doing, I never would have..."

"I know dear one, I'm sorry."

"Have you thought about what I said? We will be going through- He can be trained..."

"We can't leave him to be trained. I believe he is the only one who can find the stone."

"We can't let him live like this, Zedd. He's in pain and not from the magic alone. He deserves more than this."

"Yes," the older man agreed. "He does Kahlan, but it is not something we can give him."

"How can you say that? You yourself know what he's going through, you can offer him anything- advice, guidance and help... Spirits, you can end his pain."

"This is not magic I am familiar with. I cannot possibly understand the strength of the Rahl within him."

"You can try. He is still there, Zedd. Richard is still in there and we can't lose him."

"Do you believe that is what I want? He is my grandson!"

"And he is the man that I love. Neither of us wants to lose him, but it appears it is I, who will fight for him. I understand that this is new, frustrating, and upsetting considering what he has done, but he is still Richard and he needs us."

"So does everyone else. Kahlan, if I am correct, he is the only one who can save us all and that is worth the risk."

"How can that be true?"

"He is the Seeker, Kahlan and he will gladly give his life for others, it is who he is."

Hardening her gaze, she took a step forward and said the one thing she had promised herself she wouldn't. "And if we do not get him help, it may be him we need to save the people from."

She rushed away before he could respond, a part of her hoping to take in a breath before the taste of the words settled in her mouth. She felt that by speaking them, she was betraying everything he trusted in her. In the one way she had held true, she gave in and failed him. If she believed the lie she tried to tell herself, she would have remained quiet when she returned to him, but the instant their eyes met, she nearly melted.

"I'm sorry."

"I don't think Zedd will allow you to receive help until we seal the rifts."

Tilting his head, he inched closer. "Even after you argued my anger?"

"I'm sorry, Richard."

Shrugging, he crossed his arms across his chest, pushing it out for a little more space between them and the sword. "You tried... I can't ask anything more of you."

"You don't have to ask for me to look after you," she whispered. "It's my duty as your friend."

He smiled at her words, a set he hadn't expected to hear, not for a long while. "I wish I could do something in return."

"Catch another rabbit and we will be even."

With a quick bow of his head, he teased her in a curtsy and did his best not to laugh. "As you wish, Mother Confessor."

They rarely spoke as the weeks continued and when they found the stone, it stopped altogether. He couldn't look at her without the rage building up within and keeping from the sword was no help to him. She didn't push or react in any way, at least, not when she was around the others. There were nights when she and Tony would stop and sit while they were gathering food, Kahlan crying for a few moments as she allowed herself the time to feel. It welled up around her, emotions she couldn't fully understand and shutting them out during the day was all that kept her sane. Cara had either broken down or no longer cared, the Mother Confessor didn't know which, but she began to aid her, in small ways at first. She would share her food at the beginning, but as the weeks passed, she began taking her watch and moving quicker in a fight to protect her without causing too much notice.

The brunette questioned her on the matter and was surprised by the response. The Mord'Sith had remained quiet while they traveled, even after feeling the connection to the child. It wasn't hard to believe, the child was strong and Kahlan could feel it very well, but she couldn't understand why the others could feel her, but not him. Cara had made the joke that Richard was a man, and by the fact, he couldn't be expected to figure anything out on his own. It had brought a smile to her lips, for however brief a time and she was grateful, but said nothing in return.

Richard collapsed the instant the rifts were sealed and after two weeks of travel, she left him with the Sisters of the Light. A part of her wanted to stay, to make sure he was taken care of, but she couldn't. Everything was changing rapidly and if she wanted to create the world they had spoke of, she needed to begin immediately and with the child within her, more than evident, it would not be long until she was no longer alone.

The trip back to Aydindril was longer than she ever experienced, accompanied by the Mord'Sith, who insisted she come along to protect the future Lord Rahl, because when Richard's brain began to work, he would exile her for leaving his child's side. It was a decent lie, Kahlan told herself, but she was happy to have the company, knowing that she would experience less pain with the blonde. Ironic, she chuckled to herself at the thought of a Mord'Sith preventing any kind of pain. It was weeks before the blonde left her side, beginning her journey back to Richard and when the time came for her to go, the brunette felt like she was losing a friend.

She gave birth in a room of strangers and a Rada'Han around her neck. The event was exhausting, but the instant she saw her daughter's face, she was filled with sudden energetic life. She looked like him. She had lighter hair than her mother, but it was as thick. Kahlan marveled at the softness as she brushed her fingers through.

She looked up as though she could see her clearly, see into her, feeling everything the way Richard seemed to. It was comforting and terrifying at the same time. From the first feeding, she was grateful that the small baby didn't have the appetite of the older man, the wizard who never failed to have something in his mouth. Her cheeks were plump and pink, healthy even in her early birth. Kahlan never remembered anything being so small and delicate, sweet and beautiful. Her opinions weren't biased, she reasoned, they were plainly in front of her.

She could only hope that she had more of him, everything that made her love him. If their daughter was lucky, she would have every piece of him. It would be a gift from the spirits if she had his heart. As her mind wondered, she hoped to raise her well enough for him to be proud.

The months passed quickly, turning into years and within a blink, Emma turned six.

 _Richard,_

 _I hear your training has been going well, though I am sure you must be very busy, I will not take much of your time. I've arrived in Aydindril, Cara being the same, but I've come to enjoy it. If it is alright with you, I would like her to stay with me for a while longer. It's been so long since I've been home, I think I require her odd comfort. I pray to the spirits that you are well and that you have found joy in this new journey. I cannot imagine how you must feel, but I hope that somewhere within, you are happy._

 _May the spirits protect you,_

 _Kahlan Amnell_

 _Mother Confessor_

The young Confessor was smart and quick to learn, surpassing the others when they had been her age. Kahlan spent as much time with her as possible, trying to be the mother she knew, the mother her daughter needed. Emma came first and there was no questioning it, from anyone.

"I don't like em," Emma stated as she poked the green leaves on her dinner plate. "How can they be good if I don't like em?"

Kahlan chuckled as she leaned over, picking up one of the leaves with her fingers. "They're good for you. See?" she asked as she pushed the food into her mouth. "Delicious."

"No it's not," the young girl answered as she straightened her back in her chair. "Mud tastes better."

"You would rather have the mud?"

Shaking her head, Emma looked to her exhausted mother. "No, but I don't want eat this. Can I have more sausages?"

With a slow nod, the Mother Confessor smiled, seeing another piece of the man she loved within their child. Richard would rather eat meat than anything else, the opposite of herself. "If you promise to eat one of those nasty green things."

"One?" she questioned skeptically. "It can't be a small one, can it?"

"Not if you want to get to those sausages. Look, there's only a few left..."

Emma jumped to her feet and closed her eyes, stuffing a spinach leaf into her mouth. She chewed quickly, making every face she could to show her dislike. When she swallowed, she turned toward her mother and opened her mouth, proving that she ate it all. "Please don't make me eat another one."

"Not tonight, I promise."

Returning to her chair, Emma slouched as she broke one of the still warm sausages in half. "Hannah's mom won't let me play with her anymore..."

Kahlan frowned, her body moving to match the young girl's. "I'm sorry, Emma. I know how close the two of you were."

"Her mom is mean."

Nodding, she sighed. "She is trying to protect her daughter and we cannot blame her for that. We are dangerous creatures, Emma. We may not wish to harm anyone, but we can and we do, it is who we are."

"Why?"

"Because without us, there could be no true justice. The people may fear us, but we will always keep them safe. They are our people, Emma, our family and we protect them."

"They hate us."

"They fear us, there is a difference. Hatred is deep within, but fear can be changed, it can become respect and understanding."

"They look through me," she whispered.

"It feels that way, yes, but they see you and when the time comes, they will need you."

"When I get my magic?"

"Yes, that's when your duties will begin. You'll understand more as you grow older, I promise."

"I want to understand now."

Wiping her mouth with a napkin, Kahlan smiled weakly. "I wish I was able to explain it to you, but there are things even I can't make sense of. It's always been this way."

Lifting up the final piece of meat, Emma smiled. "Do you want to share it with me?"

"I would love to."

Emma ran through the garden with a loud laugh as her mother chased her. It was early morning, the sun just beginning to rise and heat the world and the young Confessor was filled with energy. They awoke early each day, finding a short amount of time for them to be together before their duties began. When the Mother Confessor headed to her first meeting, the young one was sent to school, keeping them apart for many hours.

When Kahlan rounded the corner, she froze in her steps at the sight before her. "I'm sorry, mommy! I didn't mean to-"

"I know," she managed to whisper as she wrapped her daughter in her arms. She stared at the tree before them, burned by the magic, the young girl did know she had. She was crying in fear and panic, both emotions flooding her mother as she reached out to touch the burned wood. "It's alright, I promise." Taking hold of her daughter shoulders, she held her steady and met her eyes,making sure she understood that what she was about to say was very important. "Do you remember what we talked about? About what we did have to do if this time ever came?"

"Yes," she whispered in fear with a slow nod of her small head.

"I will send word to Zedd, he will help us, but we must be careful until he arrives, no one can know yet, do you understand? Emma, I need you to listen to me. We are going back to the palace and we will spend the day in my room, alright? We will be safest in there, alone."

 _Kahlan,_

 _Keep her with you as long as you'd like, she'd be bored here, anyway. I'm not sure how I feel anymore. Everything is different and I'm never sure of anything, my mind won't quiet. It was nice to receive your letter, I wasn't sure I would hear from you here. I know that you have duties of your own and I would understand if you were busy. I wish I had gone back with you and kept you safe, even though I know Cara would do the same. This letter must be terribly boring to you, I'm afraid that I do not have much to say. With the months that have passed, you must be close to giving birth... I'm excited for you. Sometimes I think I see the smile on your face when you think about becoming a mother. Your daughter will be lucky to have you, Kahlan._

 _I hope you are well and wish you the best._

 _Richard Cyp- Rahl._

"The wizard is my friend," Kahlan stated to the High Council, who argued with her decision to send the small Confessor off with Zedd. "She has so much to learn of this world and I can think of no one better to teach her than a Wizard of the First Order. As her mother, I have the final say in this decision and as Mother Confessor, none of you will question me."

"Will you accompany the-"

"Of course," Kahlan interrupted smoothly.

"Very well," one spoke softly, the Mother Confessor completely ignoring which one it was. "They may go."

"I was not asking for your permission, we will be leaving within the hour."

 _Richard,_

 _I received your letter today, it was a pleasant surprise. My daughter, Emma, she's three months old. I don't think I've ever been so scared and excited before. I look at her and I can't believe it's possible to love someone so much. I had one of our painters do a portrait, I will be sending one along with this to you. Zedd arrived yesterday, grinning as he spoke of your training, he is very proud. I know you're working hard, you always do and you will find a way to have it make sense to you. There are so many things I wish to tell you, but I do not want to waste your time._

 _I hope this reaches you well,_

 _Kahlan_

"I don't understand," Emma said as she turned her head to look up at the wizard, who rode behind her on his faithful horse. "I'm a Confessor, not a wizard."

"Your father-"

"Richard," she replied softly, looking around to be sure they were alone. Her mother had told her the truth of her birth, making her promise never to tell another person. Meeting her mother's eyes she smiled a small smile. "Mommy said I may have the magic like him."

"It doesn't always pass to every child," Zedd informed her as he watched the road. "You are lucky it found you at such a young age. You can be trained-"

"I'm scared."

"Of what?"

"Everything. Mommy, if the people won't play with me now, they won't- I'll never have any friends."

"You will," Kahlan told her quietly as she straightened her back. "Maybe you won't have them now, but they'll come. One may be older and eat everything in his sight and one may be like your father, someone who sees things differently."

"Wizard Zedd eats everything!" the young girl giggled. "If we run out of food, he may eat us!"

"Definitely!" the older man exclaimed. "I don't want to starve!"

The small group laughed for a few moments, the Mother Confessor grateful for the sudden change in subject. She feared it all, the training and the years away from her daughter. Richard had been there over six years and had just begun, it was painful enough to have lost him, she couldn't imagine losing her daughter the same way. A part of her hoped that Emma wouldn't carry his magic, that she would be a Confessor alone and the secret she held within would always be hidden. None knew that she had been with the Seeker, a possible father to the small girl who ran through the halls with his laugh.

Kahlan had also held another secret, a desire that had kept her warm each night since she left his side. She hoped the he would return to her and with a blessing from the spirits, she would be his once again and together, continue their family. She could imagine the council's response, the people running in fear of the child they may create, the one who rode beside her. The child would be more powerful than all others before her and if the thought lingered too long, she feared the worst. She had done her best to raise her the way her mother had with her, teaching her right from wrong, listening to your heart and your mind; doing what is best for the people over what you want for yourself. Each hard lessons to learn, at any age.

The sun beat down upon her with an angry wrath, screaming out as though she was to be punished. The wizard had just come from the Palace of the Prophets and Kahlan desperately wanted to ask a single question.

"How is he?"

The older man turned his head, a small grin tugging on his thin lips. "He's doing well. I don't suspect him to have any more troubles." He studied her face and chuckled, realizing that it wasn't the response she was looking for. "He misses you."

 _Kahlan,_

 _Nothing you could say would a waste of my time. I'm eager to hear your stories. Thank you for the portrait, she is beautiful, Kahlan. I think she has your mischievous smile and is waiting for the right moment to strike back against her bed time. She must be growing fast, learning all kinds of new things. Reading, even._

 _Hi, Emma! Don't give your mother a hard time, she's sending you to bed because she loves you._

 _I wish I could see you again._

 _Richard Rahl_

"I can keep watch mommy, I promise!"

Grinning, the young mother looked around the campsite and inched closer to the girl. "I know you can, but Zedd... He's getting old and I think he wants us to see him the way he does."

"Big and strong?"

The girls laughed, glancing to the wizard for a moment. "Exactly, so we must play along. He will take the first watch, then me and you, you will have the most important one."

"Why is the last important?"

"We will be exhausted, maybe sleep through any kind of danger and you'll have to protect us. It's a very important watch. Do you think you're up for it?"

"I can do it, mommy. I promise!"

Tapping her hand on the small pack they would sue for a pillow, the Mother Confessor smiled. "Alright, we have to rest to see the dangers."

Emma laid down quickly, closing her eyes the instant she was comfortable, allowing her mother to cover her with a blanket.

"That's the same speech Richard gave you when you carried her."

Meeting the wizard's eyes, she held her grin. "I know; it's a good one."

"He knew you too well to say anything else."

Coming to his side, Kahlan pulled her hair over her right shoulder and slowly ran her fingers through the long, silky strands. "I thought I would die before I saw him again. She's just like him, though. Sometimes when I look at her, it feels like he's looking back at me. When she laughs, he's there and... He's going to be so angry when he finds out she's his."

"Maybe, but I don't think he will have a moment to feel anything other than the joy of the news. Kahlan, he's spent this time believing that the woman he loves carried another man's child. I can't imagine he would be happier to learn he is her father."

"He almost told him once, Tony... Richard was asking questions, trying to understand and he came so close to learning the truth."

"Truth?"

"The reason I chose Tony. I chose him because he cannot create a child." Meeting the surprised man's eyes, she smiled. "I never wanted to carry anyone else's child and I hoped that when the time came, there would be no doubt in who fathered her."

"Why did you keep it a secret?"

"Because I was hurt, bitter and still hopelessly in love with him. If I told him that he gave me a child, we know Richard. He never would have left our side and I couldn't let him die for us."

"I think the news may have made him stronger."

Nodding, she swallowed the words. "Maybe, but a foolish young woman in love does not think things through."

 _Richard,_

 _She's only two, she cannot yet read, though with the mind she has, I'm afraid it could come tomorrow. When the day comes, I will show her your words, maybe she will listen. She does smile that way, though. At times, it's helped me to know what was being planned, saved a few toys._

 _She loves the carving you sent her, she carries it with her in a small pack, it's a beautiful view._

 _I've been thinking about you, your training and if you're happy._

 _Are you?_

 _Kahlan_

"It's time for lunch!" Zedd said cheerfully, pulling the others from their thoughts. Kahlan thought of the man she would see in a few days time, while Emma thought about riding the butterfly that followed them down the trail. "It's been years since we've eaten."

"You ate a few minutes ago," the small Confessor giggled. "And you wouldn't share."

"If I shared, I wouldn't have had enough for me," he informed her factually.

"Or the army in your tummy."

"I think we should keep moving," Kahlan interrupted their fun. "If we go a little further, we will be in safer territory."

"You're right, dear one. I was thinking on an empty stomach."

"How can it be empty? You ate-" The young brunette stopped and looked around, her ears hearing something she didn't understand. "What's that?"

"What?" the others asked in unison.

Meeting her mother's eyes in fear, she blinked out a set of tears. "You don't hear it?" Reaching out, she allowed herself to be pulled onto the other horse, wrapped tightly in safe arms.

"Come on, we should get moving."

They had only gone a few feet before Emma began screaming in terror, her eyes wide as she stared at the trees. Kahlan scanned the area quickly, her hold tightening quickly as she tried to find the source of the fear. The bushes moved, flowing in a different direction than the wind, something coming toward them.

"Go!" Zedd shouted as his eyes widened, now seeing what scared the young girl.

Kahlan didn't hesitate, her daughter's life being all she cared about. The wizard was capable and would find them when he could. She only wished she could understand what had happened.

She rode the horse hard, pushing him until the sun was setting and Emma quieted to a soft whimper every now and again. The horse had been calm and she wanted to believe it was because he had seen many things in battles, but a part of her wondered he was like her and couldn't see the danger. She wanted to ask what it was, but she was afraid that it would upset the young girl.

"I think it's safe to stop here..."

"Nowhere is safe, is it?"

Slouching, Kahlan rested her chin on her daughter's shoulder and sighed. "I used to say the same thing. The world isn't safe, but we try to make it so."

"I want to go home."

Pushing her cheek against the side of her head, she closed her eyes. "I know, but I'm afraid that it's no longer safe there, either."

"Why?"

Climbing down from the horse, Kahlan reached up to help the Emma down. "Because of Richard's magic within you." Kneeling down, she was face to face with the young girl, looking into her confused eyes as she stroked her fingers through her hair, fixing it over her shoulders. "I hoped you wouldn't have to endure this."

"I don't understand," she whispered. "You said it would be an honor to have daddy's magic."

"It is, don't ever think that it's not. Emma, you must understand that our people will not be very accepting. The power you hold as a Confessor alone, it brings fear to their minds and with the magic of a Rahl within you... Do you remember the stories you heard from the others? The ones about Darken Rahl? Emma, that is what the people fear you will become, that and far worse. They do not care that your heart is bigger than any of theirs, if you have that kind of power, they will fear you."

Emma was angry at her mother's words, a part of her hating the people for fearing that she wanted to harm then and then as her mind swept across the thought, it didn't seem so wrong. "Maybe they should fear me," she said in a voice that wasn't quite her own. "If they want to be afraid, let them!" Tears were falling down her cheeks as she spoke, caught between confusion of her own words and fear of what her mother would say. "I can make them fear me!"

Kahlan pulled her into her arms, hugging her tightly for a few moments before breaking the silence. "I know you," she whispered calmly. "I know that it hurts, I do and it never goes away, but there is someone out there, maybe more than one... Someone like your father, one who will ease your pain and help you take your next breath."

"I'm not allowed to play with anyone," she replied as her mother pulled back. "Who will-"

"You may not find them now, but that doesn't me that they do not exist. I know that it feels like they don't and it hurts, but they're out there."

"Maybe you found the only one."

Kahlan smiled for a moment as she nodded. "He is rare... Come on, we should make sure the area is safe. Would you like to help me?"

"Yes." It was all she could make herself say.

When they finished setting up for the night, the Mother Confessor laid down and stared up at the sky. "I know you're upset with me," she told her daughter quietly. "It's alright to be, I would... I didn't give birth to you so that you could endure this, but it's true, I knew the risks. I also know that it may be some time before you can understand, but Emma, being a Confessor isn't something you should wish not to be and neither is the wizard. You're special, you can help people and soon they will see that. There will always be those who are afraid of you, more than you will ever meet, but that doesn't mean you do not help them. They are your people, part of your family and keeping them safe... I would die for any one of them just as I would you. We are bound together by the hope of becoming grater than we are, together."

"I'm tired."

"Alright," she replied through a whisper. She could almost see the thoughts that ran through the young girls head, making her question everything. "We will stay here for little while tomorrow, it will give Zedd time to catch us."

"He's not coming," Emma said sadly.

Kahlan wanted to question her, but couldn't find the right words. With tears in her eyes, she blinked and prayed for sleep, for anything to help her escape the moment.

 _Kahlan,_

 _The training has been difficult, but I am no longer a danger to those I care about. That makes me happy. I'm tired and can only think of you and Emma. It's only been months for me, but years has passed. I'm afraid I will never see you again._

 _I am filled with fears I have never known, ones I believe help me to understand how you felt when you were close to me. I know that I can never apologize enough for what I did, but I will never stop trying. I can still hear your words in my mind and I wish so badly that I could turn back time._

 _I am sorry, for everything._

 _Richard Rahl_

Kahlan didnt get any sleep, she spent all night wondering what happened to the wizard and praying for him to return. The night was darker than all of the others, a certain doom floating over them, mocking as it waited to destroy them. She had experienced a night like this once, the one before Darken Rahl was defeated. Richard had sat beside her in silence, letting her head rest on his shoulder as they both stared out. It was comforting for her to think that if it was the end, she would die beside him, entering the afterlife with the man she loved.

She smiled at the thought of seeing him again, kissing him if he'd allow it, but the instant he learned why they were there, it would change everything. Keeping the secret was something she hoped to so for a while longer, but it wouldn't keep hidden forever. Soon he would know the truth and she hoped he would feel half as happy as she did.

"I'm hungry."

Her eyes snapped over to the young girl who now sat forward with a yawn. "We don't have time to start another fire, but there's still food in my pack. It should be enough to hold us over until we arrive." Emma didn't reply, though she wasn't sure she would. She could imagine how she felt, the pain of finding out that what she believed to be her life was only the beginning of more pain. "I am sorry, Em-"

"Can I make it go away?"

"What?"

"The magic."

Kahlan frowned, but pushed aside her own feelings. "If that is what you wish to do, it is possible."

"I can be a Confessor?"

"You cannot remove a single part of the magic. If you want to remove part, you will lose it all."

"But I will have friends?"

"Maybe, but you don't have to make a decision now, you have time."

"I want to be friends with Lauren."

"I know." Coming to her feet, the tall brunette sighed. There would be no winning in this discussion, not when her daughter didn't yet understand what she was wanting to lose. She knew the fear she felt and with the previous experience herself, knew it would only get stronger. "Hurry and eat, we need to get moving."

Emma didn't speak for the next four hours, an expected response from her mother, who remained quiet as she thought. She hoped that Richard would be able to help, but they had no relationship and Kahlan wasn't sure she could ask him. It was a downfall of events, each poking her heart just enough to cause more pain, but not enough to keep her down. This must have been how Zedd felt when the Seeker wanted to remove his magic. It hurt knowing that they wanted to remove a part of them.

Pulling their horse to a sudden stop, the Mother Confessor jumped off and shoved the reins in her daughters hands. "Follow the road, the palace is a few hours away. Go, now!"

The girl stared down at her mother in confusion, failing to understand what made her panic. "Wh-"

"I said go now!" she shouted again as she slapped the horses side and made it run off.

Kahlan rushed into the trees with her daggers in hand, praying to the spirits to keep her daughter safe.

Emma pulled on her mother's shoulders, trying to drag her through the trees and back to the road. It had been a brief battle, one she could have won had she not been distracted by the young girl, who foolishly returned. Kahlan had looked over her shoulder for a moment to tell her to run and in that instant, she was taken down. Blood stained the white of her Mother Confessor's dress, a few deep scrapes that seemed to be everywhere, but the majority of the blood was seeping from her right side and back, the skin and dress being ripped off.

Neither had seen such a creature before, a dragon with the speed of the wind and the hunger for everything. It had been in mid attack when the girl showed up, pleased to have had its prey distracted for its next move. The action that came next, none could have predicted, especially the one who acted. Emma had thrown up her hands in a panicked cry, shrieking loudly as she watched her mother fall to the ground. The rage and pain within the small body built rapidly and without warning exploded with a pop that left her hands in the enemy's direction. The dragon didn't seem affected by the first response, but as it came again and again, a pop for lower by another, something slamming into its darkened scales until it growled in pain and took of into the sky.

They were half a day from the Palace, but from the way her mother bled, the young Confessor wasn't sure she would make it to the road. Kahlan shook with a cold the other couldn't feel, her body remaining limp as her arm was lifted and pulled. Emma refused to give up, desperately letting her mind wonder in the hopes of finding a solution that came after several long minutes.

"Ill be right back mommy, I promise!"

Running back through the trees, she returned with the horse and a rope, her plan falling into place as the loyal creature came to stand beside the Mother Confessor. Emma tied a few thick pieces of fallen limbs together, hoping they would be strong enough to hold her mother as she had seen another do once before. It took her longer than she planned and as the time passed, Kahlan grew quiet.

She couldn't lift her mother onto the limbs, she was too heavy, leaving her one final option. Pushing here sides, she rolled her over, doing her best not to drop her roughly on the other side as she came closer to wood. Three rolls and she laid slanted on the hard surface, a simple fix with the rotation of her legs.

If she was lucky, there would be a smooth ride down the road, but she couldn't move slow.


	7. Chapter 7

Emma raced to the door, throwing herself inside with a loud cry for help that echoed throughout the entire palace. A group came running, Richard stopping frozen at the sight of the child before them. He had no doubt in his mind on who the child was. She looked just like the woman he loved, her hair long and beautiful. Her green dress was ripped in many places, his first thought, had she not been covered in blood, would have been she ripped it in a wild game. She was stained in blood, but from the way she moved, it was quickly shown not to be hers and panic flooded him. The instant she saw him approaching, she turned and ran, knowing he would follow and he did. They didn't go far before he saw the white dress of the Mother Confessor, but unlike all of the others, he continued to get closer.

"Spirits, Kahlan!" he half shouted, half cried as he dropped down to his knees at her side.

The sight made him sick, but it was only the beginning. Emma had done her best to shield the wounds, parts of her own clothing ripped and laid over her mother, stopping a small portion of the bleeding and preventing exposure. Her head turned toward the sound of his voice, an action her daughter didn't miss. He whispered something in her ear as his hand went from her forehead to her hair, a simple gesture that comforted her completely.

"Richard get away from her!" one of the woman behind him shouted. "She's weak, her magic could be released at any moment!"

"Then she releases it!" he snapped back angrily. Meeting the young girl's eyes, the Seeker gave a brief smile. "I'm going to take care of her." He lifted Kahlan into his arms with ease, perfectly avoiding the worst of the wounds as he turned and began to carry her inside.

The others wouldn't go near her, but did as Richard asked, bringing him what he needed and laying it down at the foot of the bed. He cleaned the wounds while the small Confessor watched from a chair at the head of the bed, close to where he worked. She watched carefully, noticing the way he wouldn't flinch when she moved and the way the ones at the door did. He studied her carefully, pulling gently on the pieces of skin that barely hung attached until he could remove them without more pain. When she groaned, he apologized, quickly as though she could hear him and then he began to talk.

He spoke to her as he would if she was awake, telling her that if she died, he would walk into the Underworld and pull her back out, a statement that brought a small smile to her daughter's face.

When he felt the wound to be clean enough, he knelt down and slowly pressed his hand against the wet cloth that kept it covered. Closing his eyes, he allowed himself to bring forth his magic, soaking in her pain as he breathed. Emma watched, enthralled by the action. She could see the matching pain on their faces, but he didn't stop. Kahlan gasped for air and hissed, but again, he didn't stop.

"Richard, no!" another shouted, distracting him jut long enough for his hand to leave her body the instant her magic flew free. "Stop! She will heal on her own!"

"We don't know that!" he shouted back. "I'm not going to sit back and allow her to die! I'd rather be confessed than lose her!"

The room grew silent for a moment, the oldest of the women straightening her back in anger. "You will not touch the Mother Confessor again. If the Spirits wish her to pass, we must allow it to happen."

"No!" Emma shouted in anger, her hands balled so tightly they were white-hot. "Get out!" she screamed as she threw out her right hand, shoving the others back as the door closed. Richard turned slowly toward the young girl, confused beyond his minds understanding. "It's my fault mommy... Please help me."

Nodding, he pushed his questions from his mind and knelt back to Kahlan's side, going back to work.

He lost his balance as he finished, stumbling back slightly as he pulled away. Emma reached out to stabilize him, her eyes never leaving her mother's face.

"Thank you..."

"It's not your fault," he whispered.

"Yes it is. I didn't listen and now... I thought I could help, but I got scared." Looking over to him, she blinked through her tears. "If she hadn't been telling me to run, it never would- If I hadn't froze sheda killed it!" She was crying heavier now, her words barely understandable.

Coming closer to her, he took hold of her hands the way he always did Kahlan's when she was upset. "She wouldn't blame you. She knows you wanted to help."

She stared down at their hands, surprised that he touched her willingly. "Why- Why aren't you afraid of us?"

Richard smiled for a moment. "Why should I be? Do you have a weapon I should-"

"My magic."

"Which magic?" he found himself asking, hoping for answers.

"I'm a Confessor."

"And a wizard."

"Mommy said it would be possible," she replied quietly.

With a soft sigh, he squeezed her hands a little tighter. "You want to know why I'm not afraid of your magic?" She nodded at once, hoping for an answer. "Just because you have magic, doesn't mean you're going to go around hurting people with it. We are all capable of hurting each other and we do not need magic to do so. Why should I fear you more than I do anyone else?"

"You're strange," she whispered through a partial smile.

Grinning, he held out his hand for her to shake. "Hi, I'm Richard."

"I'm Emma," she giggled as she took hold of his big hand.

"Nice to meet you, Emma!" He watched her eyes dart to the bed in concern. "Do you want to lay with her? I'm sure she could use the comfort."

"I don't want to hurt her."

"You won't," he assured her softly. "Here, I'll help you."

Richard stayed at her bedside, listening quietly as Emma apologized again and again, hoping her mother heard her. Kahlan remained still, her breathing picking up slowly with each intake.

After a few hours, the young girl sat up and looked over to him. "Do you want to lay with her?"

He wanted to lay at her side more than anything, but he wasn't sure that he should. He wasn't sure that it was the right thing to do. "I don't know," he replied through a whisper. "I'm not sure she would want me to."

"Can I sit with you?"

"If you'd like to."

She moved quickly and didn't hesitate as she crawled onto his lap. Leaning against him, she curled herself up and for what felt like the first time, she relaxed. "Thank you."

"For what?" It was a reflexed response, instantly understanding the moment the words left his lips.

"Fixing her."

"I wouldn't let her die," he stated as his mind replayed what the others had said.

Turning her head, she looked up at him. "Because you like her?"

He nodded without pause, licking his lips slowly. "I love her."

"Oh."

"What's only been months for me has been years for her..."

Returning her head to his shoulder, she looked back to her mother. "She talks about you sometimes. She said that if I was ever in trouble, you would be the one I trust."

"She did?"

"Yeah. She says I'll understand when I'm older, but... I have to stay here for a while."

"Because of your magic?"

"I don't want it," she said quickly, pulling back to look at him once more. "I can't play with Lauren anymore, I- Everyone's afraid of me, I don't want to be a Confessor. I want to be a wizard, like you."

Richard frowned, but nodded. "You have a hard choice to make, then."

"Mommy said I need to think about it, but I don't want-"

"She's right," he interrupted softly. "If you give up your magic, that's not all you're losing. It's a part of you, it shapes you..."

"I hate it."

"So did she," he told her as his eyes went back to Kahlan. "She once told me that sometimes her magic made her feel like she was trapped inside of herself. When she first came into her magic... She said that she used to scare herself thinking that she would hurt someone. I know that I can't understand, not completely; but I can understand what it's like to be afraid I'll be what people fear me to be."

"What?"

"Darken Rahl. You must have heard something about him, the other Rahls... I think your mother was the only one who understood. She knows how it feels to want to be different."

"No she doesn't. She has what she wants," Emma replied.

"She does now, she has you, but there was a time when she- We wanted things to be different."

"I don't understand."

"I wanted her to take me as her mate; confess me, but she... She would have given anything to keep from hurting me. You shouldn't have to change yourself to have friends."

"You sound like her."

Richard chuckled, shifting beneath her. "Then I must be right."

"Did you want to take it away?"

"I did, for a few weeks."

"Why?"

"Because I kept hurting the people I loved." He answered quickly, deciding to tell her the truth. "I was afraid, but she- you mother stood at my side. I kept looking at her, waiting for her to tell me why she had such faith in me. I don't think I'll ever understand how she could. I always knew that magic had two sides, both living inside each of us."

"I don't understand."

"Each of us has a dark side, a part of us that is always there, sometimes whispering in our ear. But we also have the rest of ourselves, the part that wants to help others. I can help people with my magic, just like I did to Kahlan. She, she helps so many people at each breath... It's one of the things I love about her. Her heart is so big and she cares about everyone. The people in your city are family to her, she loves them all and would die in an instant for anyone of them and yet, they are still afraid of her. People turn and walk the other way when she approaches, but it doesn't stop her. Why should your magic stop you?"

"I'm not just a Confessor," she revealed softly.

With a smile, he nodded. "I noticed, but it doesn't change anything. The people are still going to need your help. It may be Confessions one day and the next they may need someone to help heal them."

Leaning forward, she turned slightly for a better look at his face. "Are you mad at her?"

"No," he said after a moment of thought. "I was, but I can understand why she didn't tell me."

"She wanted to," she said, surprising him. "But she said you were doing well." Crawling off of his lap, she knelt down to her travel pack and pulled out something very familiar. "Thank you for the present." He laughed at the sight, the horse he had carved was held firmly in her little hands, showing some battle wounds. "Mommy's had to fix her for me."

"Her? What's her name?"

"Cara!" she exclaimed happily before turning to look at her mother. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to shout."

"I think she'd be happy to hear your joy."

Lifting the horse closer to her chest, she grinned. "Do you have anymore? We could play together if you want to."

"She's more beautiful than the painting showed, both of you." Richard was sitting at the side of her bed, whispering his thoughts while he had a few minutes alone with her. "I wish I had been there, Kahlan. I can't imagine all of the things I've missed and you- Why didn't you tell me? Kahlan, I know you were upset with me, but... She's my daughter and I- didn't I have the right to know? I can understand how she feels right now though, but she... She can't be allowed to make this decision on her own and I know you won't want to force her to live another life, but she's too young to understand just how much good she can do." He chuckled for a moment, reaching out to touch her arm. "She's right, I do sound like you. I... Kahlan, I keep thinking, wondering what happens now? I can't ask you to wait for me, I don't have that right, but it doesn't mean that I don't want to. I want that life with you, both of you and spend the rest of my life making sure I didn't miss another moment... It's not possible, is it? Not for us. Not if I stay here, if Emma decides to change... You're needed in Aydindril to keep your people safe and I'm... I'm here, learning, while the woman I love lives on without me."

Leaning back in his chair, he sighed as he decided to change the subject. "You've raised her to be a wonderful girl," he told her. "I knew you would be a good mother. She's worried about you, too, so you have to wake up. There's so much you have to teach her, to show her and be there when she needs you." Richard suddenly smiled as he remembered a joke she had played on him, now many years ago. "She'll be back soon, she's off in the woods playing. I think she said something about finding Zedd." He knew she would hear those words and as he suspected, her arm moved.

She was definitely the type of mother who would be protective, even when she could barely move. Her head turned in his direction, her mouth parting to speak, but before she could, Richard took her hand and squeezed. "Emma's fine, I promise. She's eating with Cara in the kitchen. I'm sorry, I- I had to wake you..."

A faint smile came to her lips as she took in a breath. Her body ached, but his touch numbed more than she'd admit. He was watching her carefully, waiting to see how she was. She swallowed, a good sign since, before her mouth had been so dry, he had begun dripping water at the corners of her lips. Her jaw locked as she opened her eyes, straining to see in the light.

His face wasn't clear, but she couldn't describe the way it felt to see even a blur of him. Her body was at a cross between wanting to jump up and kiss him and remain still until the pain died. He seemed to read her thoughts and slowly lifted her arm.

Touching her hand to his right cheek, he leaned into it and smiled. "Hi."

Her smile widened as she moved her thumb over the stubble. "Hi." Her voice was a soft rasp, but he heard it clearer than his own breathing, the sound relaxing his core. "Thank you... Healing me."

"Always."

Her smile remained as she studied his face. "I've missed you."

"I've missed you, too."

Blinking, she swallowed and tried to pull him closer. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you Emma was yours."

"I know," he responded quickly. "It's alright, I think I can understand why you didn't. I only wish that I didn't miss so much of her life."

"She's just like you," Kahlan told him through a whisper. "Stubborn and smart, beautiful and kind... Sometimes it felt like you were there."

"But I wasn't."

"No," she agreed shamefully. "But I cannot change that."

"Do you know how it's felt? Kahlan, I've been thinking about you and your family for months... Wishing that somehow, it had been me."

"I didn't want to hurt you, Richard. We both know what you would have done if you knew I carried your child. You would have killed yourself to be with us."

"Would that have been so wrong?"

Lowering her hand to the bed, she frowned. "You know that we can never have that life together, no matter how much we want it. I couldn't let you give up the chance to be happy."

"I was happy with you, Kahlan."

Closing her eyes, she licked her lips to buy herself a moment to think. There was nothing she could say that would make what she did alright and she knew that, but a part of her hoped he would understand that she had done it to protected them both. "No happier than I was with you," she replied after a few breaths. "We both know what would have become of us, of you."

"You would never confess me, Kahlan. I know for certain that you wouldn't because I've asked you to."

"Many times," she teased quietly. "I can't lose you, Richard."

"I'll always be here." She struggled to turn for a moment, wanting a better look at him. "You probably shouldn't move, I don't know how well I was able to heal-"

"Lay with me?"

He didn't hesitate like she thought he would. Instead, he moved quickly and crawled up from the bottom of the bed at her side. His new position was perfect, he knew that it would be. She grabbed his arm and pulled, helping herself to turn the other way without stretching the newly healed skin in her right side. Facing him this way made her heart race and hand shake as she brought it back to his cheek. They stared at each other in silence and as though no time had passed at all.

"What are you thinking about?"

Richard smiled for a moment. "Our daughter." After a moment of soaking in the words, he leaned forward to get closer. "Kahlan, she shouldn't make this decision on her own. Not now, when she is so young or when it all seems to be at its hardest."

"I know."

"She has to know how incredible this is and how special she-"

"I've told her," she interrupted softly. "I understand what you're saying, but a young Confessor, Richard each of us wishes to be different because of the way we are feared. How can we tell her that it's not alright to want to change, when both of us have wished the same."

"I know that she wants friends, but she shouldn't have to change to have them. Kahlan we can't-"

"I won't stand in the way of her decision," she told him through a whisper. "If she is free of her magic, she can have that life she wants, she can have the life I want with you."

Richard stared at her, half in disbelief and half in adoration. The woman before him was so strong but filled with a torment that he could never really imagine. "You shouldn't have to change for someone to love you, either of you. Kahlan, I love you and you haven't confessed me, isn't that what-"

"No," she answered in a weak breathless whisper. "Sometimes that hurts more than anything else. Loving a man you can never have... You trust me so much sometimes I'm afraid I'll disappoint you."

"If you lost control in a moment of passion, it's not disappointment you'd bring out in me."

"Because you would be gone. Richard, Emma can have that life with someone, she can fall in love without fear and have a family."

"And then what happens to her children? Kahlan, I know that you want her to be happy, I do too, but there is too much to consider not just that she wants to get rid of her magic, but what makes you think she would find someone? If she did, what of their children? The magic is in her blood, it will pass down to her children, all of them. What then? How will they feel?" Releasing a sigh, he closed his eyes to calm himself down, feeling the heating of his blood. "As much as I want that life with you, if you were to give up your magic, it would be the same as you confessing me. You'd no longer be the woman I loved and who says that she can't find someone to care about her, too? She is special and I think the world will need her far more than it has us."

"I'm so afraid she's going to be unhappy."

"We'd never allow that to happen."

"And if she ends up like me?"

"Then she will be everything we ever hoped for."

A small smile came to her lips as she met his eyes, his words lingering around her ears in a warm embrace. Reaching out, she laid her hands on his chest and slowly inches forward. "Would it be wrong to kiss you?"

"Only if you stopped," he said without pause as he moved to close the distance between them.

Their lips connection passionately, the way they had many times before. Her chest was pressed against his in a breath, both hating the blanket that hid her from him. He slid his hand down her side, slowly over her form as he imagined the feel of her skin. If she hadn't needed a breath, she never would have pulled back, but when she did, she caught a glimpse of someone in the corner of her eye.

"Emma!" she half shouted just as Richard opened his eyes.

The Mother Confessor nearly laughed as he rushed to move away from her, wanting to keep their actions a secret.

"I'm sorry mommy, I shouldn't have disobeyed and-"

"This isn't your fault, Emma and you bringing me here, you saved me."

The young girl came to the side of the bed and gently took her mother's hand. "I'm sorry, mommy."

"I know and it's alright. I'm fine, see?"

With a nod, Emma looked to Richard, who was avoiding eye contact. "He saved you. You were right," she added as she looked back to her mother. "We can trust him."

Kahlan smiled, realizing that her hand was laying over his, soaking in some of his warm comfort. "Were you hurt too?"

"No, I... I'm so sorry, mommy."

Richard looked up as she pulled her hand away, watching as the two hugged. He imagined having a family for so long, one with her, but as he watched the view before him, he couldn't help but feel that it wasn't his. There was so much that he had missed, he barely knew both of them and now, when he longed to join in on the moment, he sat back on his heels.

"What did you do while I slept?" she asked as she pulled back with a smile.

Emma grinned and dropped down to the floor, picking up a set of wooden carvings. "I played with daddy! Look! He's been making these for me!" She crawled onto the bed quickly, shoving one of them in her moms hands. "This is Betty, she's a cow who likes adventure! Tom, this dog likes to play with her, they have lots of fun!" She continued to show off each one, telling them their names and a short story. Kevin, was Kahlan's favorite, reminding her of the man who remained quiet at their side. "Daddy said I needed them all to play correctly."

"Correctly?"

"They're a city, mommy," she said with a grin as she looked to Richard. "A family! They need to have each other to live!"

"And who leads their family?"

"This one!" Richard laughed as she lifted the one he had made first, her favorite. "It's the oldest!" Handing it to Richard, she handed her mother the bird, Kevin. "Do you want to play with us?"

The Mother Confessor nodded slowly and began to sit up, doing her best to pretend that she couldn't feel the surge of pain that shot through her side. "Kahlan," Richard whispered as his arm circled her waist. "you should move slower, I may not have been able to heal you completely."

"You tried," the young girl stated. "No one else did." Her shoulders slouched as her mother straightened her back, grabbing Richard's arm for support. "They wanted him to leave you out there... They didn't care if you died."

"Emma-"

"Why didn't they care? They were so afraid you'd confess them! But you didn't! You didn't hurt him!" She had crawled into Richard's lap and hugged him. "You were the only one who cared." Kahlan stared at them, from the way he returned her hug, to the way their daughter leaned into him. She had done her best to tell her everything she could about her father, but always feeling like she couldn't do him justice and then, in a single action of being himself, he showed her everything. Emma looked up and met his eyes, "Why aren't you scared of us?"

"Should I be?"

"We're dangerous," she whispered.

He chuckled, tightening their hug. "Your mother has been trying to tell me the same thing. We're all dangerous, Emma. Each of us in our own way, those with magic and those without it. People are dangerous, but we choose the people we become."

"How?"

"By asking yourself who you want to be. Do you want to hurt other people or help them?"

"Help," she answered quickly through a breath.

"There you go," he stated as though it was the simplest in the world.

Emma smiled widely, giving him a full view of her teeth. "I want to be like mommy."

"Then you can't go wrong. Your mother is one of the best people I have ever met."

"Me too."

"You two aren't bad, either," Kahlan chuckled. "I thought we were going to play a game."

"We are!" Emma jumped from her fathers arms and grabbed the rest of the carvings.

"She's asleep," Kahlan said as Richard entered the room slowly. He had left a little more than three hours ago to help with the search for the wizard. "She tried to wait up for you." A brief look of confusion crossed his face as he came closer, one she noticed him trying to hide. "Richard, I... I know there is nothing I can say to make this better, but I-"

"I've missed everything, Kahlan. I've missed the nights when she was awoken by a storm and crawled into our bed because she was scared. I missed the first time she walked, talked and looked at you with those beautiful eyes. I- How can I be there for her now after missing everything that's important?"

"Come here," she whispered as she pushed her blanket off of her and began moving to her knees. "Come here, see it; take it." He remained still until she started to get out of her and as quickly as his legs would take him, he was standing before her. "I know that you can do it, Richard. Take them, let yourself have those moments."

"I wasn't there, Kahlan, they're not mine to have."

"You're her father," she responded through a heavy whisper. "You deserve to have them."

"It's not the same, Kahlan."

Grabbing his hands she pulled them to her cheeks and leaned forward. "This is all I can give you. After everything I've done, I owe you at least this. Take them, please."

Richard leaned forward and kissed her lips, using the connection to fuel the strength of his own magic. She returned the kiss and opened her mind, allowing him to enter without protest and see the moments he had missed.

The birth of their daughter had gone on over a day, Kahlan screaming in pain as she clutched the blankets around her, the Seeker's name on her lips.

The instant she heard her daughter's cry, she cried out in triumph, relief flooding her as she was handed a piece of the man she loved.

The first steps their daughter took had been in the room they had once shared and he could almost feel the sunlight on his face as he saw from Kahlan's eyes. The joy was unimaginable, the love and comfort the child brought her was everything he ever hoped to give her.

Her first punishment was a laugh, the young girl having thrown a tantrum in the dining hall when she was told she could have no more cake. Kahlan's mind jumped to Richard at the moment, remembering a short fight they had over the last piece of his birthday cake.

They jumped through time with one memory after another, showing everything from the nights Kahlan laid in her own bed in tears to the ones she shared in her daughter's bed, telling her stories about how her father had saved the world from every danger ever known. She had witnessed Emma talking to him once, playing with the carving he had sent her and speaking as though he as in the room. He saw everything the way she did, feeling each moment as though it was currently taking place and when it came to the day a few before, their hearts almost stopped.

Kahlan had been filled with a terror he had never felt as she told Emma to run, the desire to protect her at all cost strong and heavy within. The pain she had felt in that moment couldn't be compared to the attack from the dragon, the fear of losing a piece of him, of them, was too much.

Breaking their kiss, he stumbled away as he tried to makes sense of all of the new memories, experiencing a time that hasn't existed for him. Kneeling down on the floor, Richard covered his face with his hands and sucked in a heated breath. His lips were numb, their kiss having grown more and more passionate until they were nipping and pulling frantically. Everything he had missed was now his to view again and again and he never wanted to stop watching. He could hear their laugh as they rode horses together for the first time and hear the soft yawn his daughter would give when her mother was beginning to close the book to the story she had been reading her. Just as he knew she would be, Kahlan was a mother unlike all others. She was what all women should want to be, one who cared for her child in a way that was strong and hopeful, passing into the child. She spent so much time with her, teaching her as well as learning to see things in a new way, answering questions no other child would think to ask and even as she grew tired and worn with other aspects of her life, a single moment with Emma had her ready for more.

When he lifted his head, he met her eyes, both wet with tears. "Are you alright?"

Nodding, he inched closer to the bed until he touched it. "You are a wonderful mother."

Letting her tears lose, Kahlan grabbed his face and pulled him forward, giving him a single kiss before wrapping her arms around him in a hug.

"I was always afraid I would disappoint you," she whispered into his chest.

"I don't think that's possible."

He moved her backward, slowly making his way onto the bed without losing connection with her. It had been more than a year since he had held her firmly in his arms and he refused to let her go now. Her body was exactly the way he remembered it, perfectly formed. Leaning back, she tried to remove the pressure off of her side, shifting her body against him.

"Are you alright?"

"Fine, maybe a little sore."

Moving swiftly, he had her laying down, his chest against hers as he helped her get comfortable beneath him. "How's that?"

"It's fine, I- Richard, I'm going to have to deal with the pain of it healing eventually."

"But not tonight," he whispered as he laid himself down at her side.

"Did you find Zedd?"

"No, there was no sign of him or the monster that attacked you."

"I'm worried about him."

Grinning, Richard laid his arm over her stomach. "Me too, but if there's one thing I've learned about him, it's that he can take care of himself."

"Yes, but it doesn't stop me from worrying."

"It's the mother in you," he told her with a grin.

"I worried long before I became a mother."

"Maybe that's part of the reason you're a good mother."

"How long are you going to wait before you ask?"

He was surprised by her sudden question, but he knew what she was talking about. "I don't understand why you would take her out of the city alone? You know the dangers out there-"

"I do, but- Richard, we couldn't stay there and let them find out about her, us. The High Council would never understand, she'd be dead before... I would die for her in a moment, but against their men... We stood a better chance on the road."

"You could have asked for help."

"I sent for Zedd," she said quietly. "The three days it took him to arrive... I was so afraid we wouldn't survive. You know what they would do to her. The dragon," she added after a few breaths. "I thought they were all dead and I tried to protect her, she should have run-"

"She would never leave you, Kahlan," Richard said with a soft laugh. "She's your daughter, she would never let anything happen to you. I asked her about what happened and why she felt it was her fault... Kahlan, she went back because she hoped she could help you. Even after seeing the fear in your eyes, she rushed back because she thought that with her magic, she could help keep you alive. She's your daughter, she couldn't have run away."

"Ours," she corrected him through a whisper. "I don't think I've ever been so scared before." Closing her eyes, she grabbed his arm, holding it across her stomach. "When I saw her behind me, so close to the dragon... I thought I'd lost everything."

"But you didn't," he said instantly. "Kahlan, you protected her."

Turning her head, she met his eyes. "I think she protected me. Richard, that creature looked at her as though it knew who she was... It fled at her command."

"How is that possible?"

"I don't know, but I saw it and for a moment, it frightened me."

"The magic?"

"She's more powerful than anyone of us and I know the woman she can be, but-"

"She has the Rahl blood-"

"No," she said quickly, settling him. "No, that's not what worries me. Richard, she is only a child, I don't want to put that much of a burden on her. It's exhausting and she should be free, a child for years."

"I think she's strong enough to handle it, Kahlan."

"Because she doesn't have a choice. Richard, if she chose to give up her magic, I couldn't say it to be the wrong decision." Looking up to the ceiling, she sighed as she remembered her time with him. "As much as I want her to keep it, I keep imagining the life she could have."

"The one we want together?"

"She could be happy." Returning her eyes to his, she half smiled. "She could make love to her husband, walk through the streets without causing other to run. I wish that for her, Richard and I hate that my thoughts be so cruel."

"They aren't cruel, Kahlan. You're a mother who wants her daughter to have the happiness she... It's far from cruel."

"When she first mentioned removing her magic, I- I was so upset that she would want to give up a part of us, a piece that made her ours..."

"She's still ours, even without her magic."

"I know, but it doesn't seem right."

He smiled and she felt her lips tugging to match, his happy emotions always finding their way into her. "Because she was born with our magic for a reason. Give her time, allow her to stay and train for a few days... Maybe she will come to see it the way we do."

"That is where I... I feel selfish not wanting to leave her here."

With a soft chuckle, he nudged his nose against her jaw. "You could wait for a while, stay with me..."

"I've already been gone weeks... I don't know how much longer I can keep our secret."

He moved back at her words, laying down on his back with his eyes glued to the roof of the room. "You have things to attend to."

His reaction didn't go unnoticed, but she didn't respond to it. "I have another few days..." Remaining still, she stared up at the ceiling as well. "I often wondered what it would be like to live away from the palace, hidden somewhere in the trees and coming out only when I was requested. It seems, at times, to be the safe place to raise Emma. She'd learn to control her magic away from the fearing eyes of everyone she's ever known, she'd become stronger than any of us, relying on herself more than... Each time I allow myself to think of such things I'm sucked backward. I dream of leaving, but I see what the High Council truly is and I fear for my people. They deserve someone to look after them, not rule them."

"That's why they have you," he managed to whisper as her words lingered in his mind.

Turning her head, she studied the side of his face. "Yet my heart is far away."

Richard turned his head and met her eyes, instantly regretting believing that she wanted to leave him. "Kahlan-"

"Were I not the only one able, I would not return to Aydindril, not yet."

Rolling into his side, he pulled her to do the same, crashing his chest against hers. "Stay with me. I do not have much longer to-"

"You know that I can't. Even if you were to leave tomorrow, I could not. Richard, as much as I long to, I fear what I will do to you." His face was so close to hers, she wasn't sure who was breathing, though it was clear they shared each other's breath. "Now, all I want is another night with you, another kiss that extends through time, but I feel the magic within me, waiting..."

"You'd never confess me, Kahlan."

"I want to," she said shamefully. "I want what you speak of, the life you used to talk about..."

"I will give it to you, without your magic claiming me. We have had it before, I will find a way to have it again. We will fill your palace with our daughters, Kahlan and each night will end this way."

"I wish it was possible."

Leaning in, he smiled. "I'm the Seeker, remember? I'll find a way."

Their kiss was meant to be slow and steady, but the instant their lips touched the fire exploded. To his surprise, she pushed forward until she was laying above him, the pain she had felt before diminishing with each breath. He laid calmly beneath her, still unafraid of the magic that she was sure he felt in her fingertips. Shifting her weight above him, she sat up and beautifully pushed her hair out of her face, sucking in a breath as he flattened his hands over her stomach. She wore a white gown, one she knew he had made sure she get, it was soft, but it wasn't the silk she was used to. It felt tame and comforting, the way he did against her. The fabric was thin enough for her to feel his touch, but thick enough to cause her madness as she desired more.

He responded to her thoughts instantly, pushing at the fabric until she pulled it over her head, exposing herself to him. At once, her shoulders slouched and her breathing slowed, part of her panicked that it had been so long since she had been seen by his eyes and her body had changed since giving birth. His lips parted as he reached out, tracing his right index down between her breasts and to her bellybutton. She waited for his reaction, to be dismissed as he studied her skin, but he showed no sign of disappointment. She had several new scars from a few short battles she endured after leaving him, the news of the Keeper's defeat having taken its time to reach each of the enemy soldiers. Her hips were wider than the last time she laid with him and as his hands circled them, he couldn't stop the low growl that escaped his throat. He traced the long scar that went from one side to the other, just below her stomach, his mind instantly remembering what she had shown him of their daughters birth.

"She wasn't harmed," Kahlan found herself whispering as her hand laid over his, holding it still. "It was before we returned to Aydindril and Cara stopped them."

Pushing his thumbs against each end of the scar, he looked up and met her eyes for a short moment before the passion within them overtook him, gliding his hands up her sides, he brought them to her breasts and slowly took them in his hands. He struggled to hold his eyes still, the view of her face and his hands calling out to him. His body ached beneath her, but he couldn't bring himself to act upon his need, not after everything he had put her through. Kahlan laid her left hand over his, holding it to her breast as she gently rolled her hips, letting more of her weight settle upon him. He let out a quiet moan, one only she heard as she lowered her chest closer to his.

She mean to tell him that he was overdressed, but the words didn't escape, only a whimper of need. It had been more than six years since she felt his touch, felt anyone's skin against hers and the memories she had of their night together could only heat her for so long. Releasing his hand, she grabbed his shirt and pulled, more roughly than she intended, until he allowed her to free his body of the blue fabric. When the shirt hit the ground, she sat back up and reached for him, instantly telling him what she wanted. Pressing his chest against hers, he reconnected their lips and tightened his hold on her, removing all space between them. She was on fire, he body burning with a passion her magic couldn't control, but she refused to stop. She longed for the life he talked about and if he found a way o love her for this night, she wanted to take it.


	8. Chapter 8

Richard rolled onto his side as he began to waken, instantly reaching for her. Jumping up, he searched the room and when he realized that she was gone, he crawled out of the bed and marched to the door. She wasn't in the room their daughter was given like he first thought, but neither was Emma. He relaxed for a moment, hoping that they were eating in the kitchen or speaking with one of the Sisters of the Light. He reached the dining hall first, taking a brief look around the empty chairs as he moved through to the kitchen. Emma was sitting on the edge of the small table with a large bowl of strawberries in her hands and a wide smile on her face.

"Hi!" she exclaimed with a slight jump. "Do you want some?"

He couldn't help but smile at the stained skin around her mouth, proving just how many she had already eaten. "Maybe one." As he bit into the fruit, he brought himself to sit beside her, letting his legs swing off in rhythm with hers. "It's delicious, thank you for sharing."

"Melcome," she mumbled through a full mouth.

Looking around the room, he hoped to see her sitting in the corner somewhere, watching, but she wasn't. "Where's your mother?"

Emma dropped a berry into the bowl and slowly lifted her eyes to his. "She left with Zedd a few hours ago."

His heart stopped for a moment as his mind raced around it all. He couldn't imagine how it had felt to her before, but now he knew. "Zedd? How was he?"

The young Confessor chuckled. "That old man can survive anything. What?" she questioned as he looked at her in surprise. "That's what Cara said."

"Cara has her own way of speaking," he told her softly. "Where is Cara?"

"She's gone to kill something. She said it was driving her mad being locked up in here... Is that what it's like?"

"No. You'll see, if you decide to keep your magic, I think you'll enjoy it here."

"What about mommy?"

"You won't be away from her as long, you're young and can learn much faster. You will see her again before you know it."

"What about you?"

Shaking his head, he slouched his shoulders. "I don't know what she wants me to do."

"You want?"

Looking over to the young girl, he grinned as she nibbled on the end of the bright red fruit. "I want us to be a family."

"Did you tell her?" she asked with her mouth easing around the berry. "You ould ell er."

"I thought that I did."

Meeting his eyes, she lowered her hand and smiled. "You did? What did she say?"

"The same thing I'm sure you've heard her say before. She doesn't think we can have that life, but she shouldn't make the decision on her own, it's not fair."

Lowering her eyes to the floor, Emma swung her legs upward. "She said she was trying to protect you."

"When?"

"Always," she said sadly before meeting his eyes once more. "But she said it this morning, too." Smiling once more, she handed him another strawberry. "I'm going to learn with you and we can write mommy everyday."

Taking a quick look around them, he leans show head close to hers and whispered, "Do you want to go for a ride?"

Kahlan stared up at the stars while Cara poked a stick into the fire. The blonde had decided to accompany the wizard and Confessor part of the journey, both wanting to make sure that when Richard realized she was gone, he wouldn't be as upset knowing that she had taken some precautions. The night was cool, but there was an undeniable heat surrounding them, one that didn't come from the fire.

"Your meal is burning, Cara."

"It makes it taste better."

Turning her head, she looked over to the blonde and smiled. "I'm sure it's wonderful."

"It is."

With a chuckle, the Mother Confessor rolled onto her side to face her friend. "What's it like... Living there...?"

"It's boring," she stated flatly.

"Did you see him?"

"Sometimes. He trained most of the day, hidden away in a locked room."

"Did you-"

"Why didn't you ask him?"

"I couldn't find the words. When I looked at him, I was afraid he would see all of the time that passed and I've-"

"Grown old while he's slept."

"Yes, but that's not what I was going to say. After everything we've been through, what I kept from him, how could I expect him to answer a single question?"

"She looks like him."

"She does, doesn't she?" she asked with a grin. "Sometimes I find myself staring."

"Her nose is too big."

Sitting up, she let out a soft laugh. "No, it's not. Yours is a little large."

"She has a plum on her face."

"She's beautiful."

"Are you going to start crying over her?"

Shaking her head, Kahlan sighed. "No, but that doesn't mean I don't miss her. She's all I have. The council has ordered me to take another mate." Part on her didn't know why she told the other woman, it was something she had been keeping to herself for months, putting it in the back of her mind for the moment she knew her child was safe. She supposed, this was the time. "They had Tony examined, they know he cannot give me another child and I... I don't know what I expected, but it could not have been wrong to hope that we created another child, could it?"

"Did you?"

Shrugging her shoulders, the brunette closed her eyes. "I don't know. If we did, she's not as strong as Emma, I don't feel anything."

"But you were together?" She thought her friends cheeks would redden or that she would show some kind of embarrassment, but she didn't. "Did you lay with him before we left?"

"It surprised me too," she admitted softly. "I thought that he would take one look at her and... He should hate me for keeping her from him. Cara, I kept expecting him to scream at me for such a secret, but he laid there at my side, once again trying to convince me that we can have a life together." Holding the Mord'Sith's gaze, Kahlan leaned forward. "I wish so badly that it was possible and I am ashamed of myself for hoping my daughter forsakes the life I desperately want."

"She won't give up her magic," Cara stated at once, ignoring the rest of the Confessor's words. "Richard will say something, she'll cry and be eternity sorry for ever wishing them away."

Kahlan couldn't help but chuckle, knowing she was right. "I've missed you too, Cara."

"Of course you did."

"She told me what you did for her... Thank you."

Dropping the stick, the blonde folded her arms. "I took her to the kitchen."

"You talked with her, just when she needed a friend. She likes you, more than she shows."

"You should sleep, we have to make up time tomorrow."

"Thank you, Cara."

She didn't wait for her to respond, her friend wouldn't. Laying back, she looked over to the wizard, who was sound asleep, making sure he hadn't heard a certain part of their conversation. With a soft sigh, she closed her eyes and waited for sleep to claim her. The moment she saw darkness, she could feel his warmth next to her and with her next breath, she prayed his touch would fade from her mind.

"You're going to roll into the fire."

Kahlan jumped at the sound of his voice, a mix of surprise and terror at the sudden awakening. "Richard?"

"Expecting someone else?" he asked as he made himself comfortable beside her. He was laying on his back with his arms crossed beneath his head as he stared up at the starry sky. "I've missed this. Look how beautiful they are."

She didn't take her eyes off of him as she wiped away the sleep. "What- Richard, what are you doing here? Where's Emma?"

Turning his had toward her, he grinned widely. "She's been asleep for hours, I laid her next to Zedd and Cara. I think she can sleep through anything."

"Richard-"

"I wasn't going to let you leave again," he said quickly. "I can't lose any more time with you and I would never leave Emma alone, so I brought her with me. Kahlan, we can be a family now. I can help her with the Rahl magic, just as you can with yours."

"You shouldn't be here. You have your own training to finish."

"I've finished, Kahlan."

Shaking her head, she sat up and rubbed her face with both of her hands. "I don't understand-"

"Because you're not looking at it the right way," he chuckled. "Kahlan, I had no intention of allowing you to leave the palace. When I woke up and you were gone... You gave me no choice but to come after you."

"Richard, we cannot have this life, no matter how much we want it."

Sitting forward, he turned to face her. "We had it last night and we will have it again."

"It's not possible."

"You are a stubborn woman, Mother Confessor. You've traveled fast and hard, telling me that you feel what I do. There may come a night when we are lost in passion and you release your magic- And I know how that makes you feel, but I'm not afraid of it. I've felt it before, I feel it now and it's lingering beneath your skin, a breath from being free..." Inching closer, he took her face in his hands and guided her forward. Her eyes were dark, mixed with with magic and passion, something he enjoyed more than his own breath. "Your magic is beautiful."

"It's dangerous."

"So is sleeping in the open with a dragon flying around."

"Richard-"

"You can't push me away anymore, Kahlan. I won't let go of the two of you. You're my family."

"How can you say that? Richard, I've- For more than six years, I have hidden your daughter from you, I've-"

"You had your reasons and after everything I put you through, after the night I nearly- Kahlan... After what I did, I would understand if you never wanted her to know me and for weeks, I- I thought that I would never meet her and when I saw her at the palace, I... I knew she was yours. I could see it clearly and in that moment, I decided that I would never let go of either of you."

"You're not letting go of us, you're... Saving yourself."

"You are not going to change my mind, Kahlan. I'm here and I'm going to spend the rest of my life filling our home with our daughters. I can't stop imagining our lives together and I promise that I won't hurt you again."

Grabbing his face she pulled herself close to him, pressing her forehead and nose against his. "That's not what I'm afraid of. Spirits, I... If I lost you, I don't know what I would do."

"You won't lose me. I will always be right here, even if you confessed me. Kahlan I know that you would kill yourself in a heartbeat, but I swear to you that in the instant your magic touches me, I will not change. It's not possible for me to love you more than I already do."

"I can't force you to love me, Richard."

He kissed her briefly with a smile. "I've already chosen to love you."

"And if you wanted to change your mind?"

Richard pulled back with a quiet sigh, knowing that what he was about to say to her would bring her mind to spin. "I've had the chance, Kahlan. I even tried to stop loving you. I- When I woke up in the Palace of the Prophets, I tried to move on because I thought that you had. You were close to giving birth and you had Tony, I never imagined I would hear from you again. There was a woman in the palace and I... I thought that if I could lay with her, it would help me forget you." She stared at him, her eyes still dark, but were now wet with tears. He could see her fighting her instincts, her desire to slap him most likely.

"She was a beautiful woman, but she wasn't your kind of beauty. When I looked at her, all I saw was everything that made her different from you. It didn't stop me though and I, I spent some time talking with her. I seduced her the best I could, but when the time came for me to take her, I couldn't. All I could see was your face, looking at me like you are now. Disappointed that I could be so foolish and I am. I will never want another woman, Kahlan. I will never find another I believe to be more attractive because it's not just the way you look that attracts me. I look at you and see someone wonderful. You're intelligence bleeds through your gaze, your heart showing with each move and when I'm close to you, I feel like it can become part of me. Your magic, when I watch it collect in your eyes and then flow into another, it's more beautiful than I can ever hope to describe to you. Everything that makes you, you, that is what I love. How can I ever be with anyone else when my heart is yours?"

Kahlan swallowed, hard, her eyes locked on his, seeing the truth of each word. She wanted to be angry with him, for him to feel the pounding of her heart, but she knew she couldn't use the other woman as a weapon. Not because he hasn't laid with her, but because she had tried to do the same. She understood the very feeling he spoke of and knew how hard it had been for him to admit it to her.

"I'm not going to change my mind, Kahlan. It wouldn't be possible. You and Emma are my family."

"And you are ours," she managed to whisper as he took hold of her hands. "I need you to promise me one thing. Before I let go of my fear and hold you close, you must promise me one-"

"Anything."

"If that time comes and one day you wake up and no longer love me or not as you do now... If that day comes, promise me that you won't stay because you feel like you have to. Promise me that you'll tell me and then... Leave."

"If that time comes, Kahlan, I promise I will discuss it with you."

Relief flooded her as she squeezed his hands, grateful for his words. "Thank you." Moving slowly, she pushed on his legs until she was able to crawl onto his lap. He remained still as she settled down and took hold of his face. "I love you, Richard."

Grabbing her hips, he pulled her forward and soaked in her soft moan. "I love you, too."

"The Seeker is your mate?" the head of the council questioned for the umpteenth time.

Kahlan and Richard had been standing before them for over an hour and no matter what was said, it always returned to this moment.

"No," the Mother Confessor disagreed in another attempt to get then to understand.

"Yes." He met her confused eyes and grinned. "They can't understand. It's alright, Kahlan. To them, all animals have one and I am yours. I am your mate. I may not be confessed, but I will be sharing your bed and doing my best to give you children."

"They shouldn't call you that," she whispered to him. It was the single set of words she had chosen to debate. Hearing 'Her mate' made her feel as though what she and Richard had was wrong. "We are not wild animals."

Raising an eyebrow, he tilted his head with a sly grin. "I don't know... The things we do, that you like-"

"Richard!" she half shrieked as she looked around to make sure the others hadn't heard him. "This is not the place for that." Turning to face him, she frowned. "If they consider you to be my mate, you leaving me will never become an option. They must understand that this is your choice."

"It's not them all you wish to convince, is it?" She remained silent and he understood. Turning toward the council, he straightened his back and met each of their eyes one by one as he spoke, "I am not the Mother Confessor's mate. I am, as many of you have one of your own, I am simply a man who wishes to be with the woman he loves. I will do as you would command of her mate and give her children, but on my free will. No one will not command me." Looking back to her, he sighed. "Is that what you wanted?"

After her single nod, he turned and walked from the room, leaving her alone with the others.

"Why have you chosen Lord Rahl? Do you know the catastrophe this man will bring upon us?"

"For you, you mean?" she questioned without hesitation. "With Richard in my bed, you lose the power you had over me. I will give you the children you desire me to have, but you will never mention any disaster you feel caused by him, do you understand me? One word of it and I will cut the tongue from your mouth and feed it to your own children." Taking a step forward, she remained calm, more frightening to the others than a rampage. "He may have the Rahl magic within him, but I assure you, he is far different than any man you have ever known. There is no man in creation who is better suited to give me children."

"You say this now, after you have had him lay between your legs. You are not fit to make this decision on your own. If you were and if he was, you would have chosen him years ago."

Raising an eyebrow, Kahlan stepped forward. "You seem to have lost your memory. I had chosen him, had I not, our daughter would not be in my dining hall. I have chosen Lord Rahl and I believe there is a single discussion we have yet to have."

"Can I have another slice of pie?"

"Another?!" Richard exclaimed as he leaned back in his chair. "You've had three already!"

"They're delicious! I could eat a whole pie! No! A whole palace of pies!"

With a soft chuckle, the Seeker pushed his own plate in front of the young girl. "If you eat this, you have to promise to eat all of your dinner tonight."

"I promise daddy!"

Leaning close to her, he lowered his voice. "You should eat it before your mother comes..."

Stopping mid-bite, Emma looked up to him. "Do we have any left for her?"

"We have one more slice."

"What are we eating?"

Jumping up from her seat, Emma raced to her mother at the door, wrapping her arms around her waist. "Blueberry pie!"

"Mmm, is there any left?"

"Daddy saved you a slice! Come on, mommy!"

Walking along side her daughter, she made her way to the dining room table, built for two dozen and sat down next to the Seeker.

"It must have been delicious, there is only one slice left."

"I couldn't help myself," Richard replied with a sly grin.

Holding back a laugh, she reached out and wiped a napkin over their daughter's chin. "If you're the one who ate it, how did it end up all over this one's face?"

"Daddy let me have four pieces!"

Laying the cloth in the young girl's hands, Kahlan looked over her shoulder to the man, who tried his best to keep from laughing. "He did?"

"It wasn't my intention, but she was enjoying it so much, I didn't want to take the joy away from her."

Her hand suddenly found his and squeezed, needing the comfort. "I don't think anything you do could take away her joy." Tossing a glance back to the young girl, she leaned closer to him. "I spoke to the council... They've agreed to allow you to train her as you see fit." He smiled, but it didn't remain long as she held his eyes. "They aren't happy about it either, but I... I told them you had a plan." With a grin, she inched a little closer. "You should have seen the look on Carol's face, I thought she was going to..." Doing her best to hold back a chuckle, she leaned back and slouched in the chair. "There is another matter I would like to discuss with you, but I'm afraid it will require me to be alone with you."

Richard turned his head toward her at once, in surprise. "They don't wish to have me examined first?"

Scrunching her nose, she held her smile. "Who knows what tomorrow may bring?"

"Kahlan-"

"My tummy hurts, mommy."

Kahlan turned quickly and outstretched her arms, allowing her to crawl onto her lap. Laying her head on her chest, Emma closed her eyes and took in a slow breath that matched her mother's heartbeat.

"Do you want to lay down for a little while? We'll get you before dinner."

"I can't," she replied softly. "I promised Cara that I would show her the rabbit I caught. She doesn't believe that I have one."

"You can show her later," Richard advised in a tone that made her lift her head with a smile. "You could nap and your mother and I could-"

"Give me a sister?"

Kahlan's mouth dropped and her cheeks reddened for a moment. "Emma-"

"Everyone's talking about it..."

"What are they saying?" Richard asked without thought.

Meeting his eyes, she read him. He wanted to know and from the expression on her face, she knew it was best to tell him. "They say you've gone mad, but it isn't true. You- They say you're going to leave us."

"I'm not going anywhere, Emma, I promise."

Lowering her eyes and returning her head to her mother's chest, she sighed. "That's what I told them."

Bending forward, Richard brushed his fingers through her hair. "Those people can't understand our family. We are different from everything they've been trained to believe and we will spend the rest of our lives in a way that will never make sense to them."

"Because you love mommy?"

"Because I love both of you."

"Why?"

"Because I can. Come here," he said softly, opening his arms. "I'll carry you to your bedroom." She moved to him at once, allowing him to lift her as he stood. "Hold on tight, we have stairs to climb."

Grinning, she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled herself close while looking over to her mother. "You're coming too, aren't you?"

"I don't think I want to miss this journey."

"She's going to wake up the instant we get up."

Kahlan nodded with a smile, her eyes closed as she shifted in their daughter's bed. "I've had this problem before. We move, she wakes up and then it's followed by five more stories about how we've saved the world."

"I'm not sure we have many left."

"Not if we want her to sleep for the next few years." Licking her lips, she turned to look up at him. "She sleep deeper when you're here, we may be able to sneak out and spend a few minutes in our own bed."

His body went numb for a breath, the tone of her voice lingering seductively in his ears. "If we make it to the door without waking her, I don't plan on waiting until we cross the palace before I have you alone."

"The spare bedroom down the hall?"

"We can run."

Kahlan moved first, slowly sitting forward as she inched to the foot of the bed. When her feet touched the floor, she looked back at the other two, making sure Emma was still sound asleep in her father's arms. With his nod of encouragement, she stood and to his surprise, waltzed to the door in a way that made his body ache.

He moved quicker than intended, but as long as his eyes were on the woman across the room, he could barely think. Laying their daughter down, he swung his legs off of the bed and jumped up. Kahlan's eyes flew to the young girl, who seemed to believe the pillow he had being laying against was him and pulled herself closer. Richard made a partial run to the door, doing his best to catch the Mother Confessor before she exited the room without him.

The couple closed the door quietly behind them, neither going far before he had her pressed against the wall. With his mouth hovering hers, he held her passionate gaze. "Spirits Kahlan, are you-"

"Trying to seduce you?" she finished his sentence with just as much heat. "Indeed, I was." A low growl escaped him, vibrating through his chest and into hers.

He remained still and she knew his mind was fighting his desires. He wanted to talk about what had happened earlier that day with the High Council and she couldn't allow that to happen, not here and not now. Slipping her hands beneath his shirt, she pulled him roughly against her and closed her eyes, making sure to add a quick buck of her hips to his.

Her actions had the desired effect as he turned and yanked her along by the hand. They nearly ran down the hall to the empty bedroom, one that would keep them hidden just long enough.

Richard didn't bother to lock the door, there wasn't time for it. Pushing against the back, he lifted her from the floor, her legs instantly circling his waist as their lips claimed each others. His hands moved over her legs and sides, stopping at her breasts for a passionate squeeze that sent her pushing forward. Ripping the front of her dress, he pushed it open and inched back just to watch it fall from her shoulders. She had stopped wearing her corset days before, hating the extra time it kept them apart. His hands covered her breasts gently pulling and pushing while his mouth lingered around her chest.

Winding her fingers in his hair, she panted his name and dropped her head back, knocking on the door. Her hips rolled forward as his mouth covered her, but suddenly she was pulling his head back.

Richard jerked back at once, terrified that he had done something wrong. "Are you alright?"

Grabbing his face, she kissed his hard and slow, keeping her eyes closed to avoid the look in his. "I'm sorry, Richard..." Shaking his head, he tried to understand but when she met his eyes, he knew. "I know how much it hurt you to say what you did, but I..." Her eyes began to water as she fought the urge to cry, hating to stop their activities for the admission. "I have sat in that room for days trying to make them understand, but I couldn't. I- It was selfish, but I needed them to know."

"What?"

Touching her left hand to his cheek, she gave a small smile. "That you chose this; me." Looking away, she lowered her hand and sighed. "I wanted them to know that for once, I was not so different than them. The man I loved, he had a choice and, at least for now, he chose me."

"But you are different from them, Kahlan," he said softly and the moment the words left his lips, he regretted them. Her eyes flew back to his in pain and as he met them, he felt it too. "Kahlan-"

"Please put me down," she whispered as he started to apologize.

He eased her down to the ground, but remained close as she sat down on the floor. "That's not what I meant. I'm sorry, I- Kahlan, you're different, not just from them and not because I your magic." Kneeling down, he caught her gaze and smiled. "We've have a conversation like this before, do you remember? Kahlan, everything about you makes you different and I'm sorry that I made it seem like a bad thing. You are different and they should know that. I wish that my love for you showed them that. I wish they saw us the way we do and I know that what you wanted me to say was for your ears as well. I know you're waiting for the day to come, where you wake up and I'm no longer here."

"No," she whispered softly. "Maybe it was true in the beginning, but it's not any longer. Richard, what scares me isn't that you'll be gone when I wake up, it's that you won't be." Leaning back, she closed her eyes and sighed. "I cannot stop myself from wondering why you would want to stay. I know- My heart knows that you love me, love us, but my mind keeps asking why." Looking back to him, she took in a deep breath. "I don't believe I'll ever have an answer for it."

"Love doesn't have an answer, Kahlan."

"Maybe not," she agreed. "But it doesn't keep us from wanting one."

Inching toward her, he closed the distance between them and slowly pulled on her hands. "Come here."

Crawling into his lap, she hugged herself to him, flattening her breasts against his chest. Their faces were inches apart, sharing each other's breath as they held the other close.

"I'm sorry I asked you to speak with them today."

"I know," he whispered. "It's alright."

With a wide smile, she circled her arms tighter around his shoulders and leaned forward. "You're overdressed."

"Am I?"

Bringing her lips to his, she flicked her tongue against them. "Mmhmm."

Lifting his arms, he allow her to pull his shirt free of his body. "How's that?"

A smile came to her lips as his words rasped around her ears. "Better..." Shifting her hips, she pushed forward so that her chest was against his once again and slowly brought his hands back to her.

Both moved together, removing the little space between them as their bodies collided.


	9. Chapter 9

"Are you alright?" Richard asked as he entered their room. He had spent the day with their daughter, another long one as she came closer to controlling her magic. "Kahlan?"

The Mother Confessor jumped at his words and turned away from the window. "I'm sorry, I was thinking."

Relived, he stepped forward with a smile, one that told her he had plans for their time alone. "About what?"

"Everything. Look at them," she whispered as he stood behind her. "They're terrified and-"

Wrapping his arms around her waist, he set his chin down on her shoulder. "You don't like your people living in fear."

"No, but that's not what I've been thinking of." Grabbing his arms, she held them to her and sighed. "I'm afraid, too. It's been generations since the dragons were this plentiful and with them circling... I'm afraid I don't know what to do."

"I won't let anything happen to you," he said before pressing his lips to her neck. "I promise."

"I know, but I can't stop myself from worrying. You and Emma are out there... I don't know what I would do if I lost either of you."

Richard gave a soft chuckle against her ear. "You'd demand the spirits return us to you and accept nothing less." His hand brushed over her side, the one that had been ripped by one of the creatures and instantly, she flinched. "It still hurts?"

"Sometimes," she admitted softly. "It's nothing I can't handle. Have you told her?"

"No," he whispered. "I don't know what to say. How do you tell a seven year old that she can't keep the baby dragon she is hiding in her room?"

Kahlan let out a laugh and turned in his arms. "Maybe we should allow her to keep it, she may learn responsibility."

"It's going to grow bigger."

"I never said we would allow it to live inside our home for the remainder of its life," she teased. "She cares for it... You've seen the way she's changed, it may not be the worst idea."

"The Mother Confessor has gone soft," he whispered as he leaned forward.

Reaching around his shoulders, she took hold of the hair at the back of his neck and pulled gently, stopping his lips from connecting with hers. "The Mother Confessor doesn't want her child to lose her friend."

"She can have other friends, Kahlan."

"You've seen her in the city, she doesn't even try anymore. It's painful and I..." Laying her hands against his chest, she sighed. It was a topic she had rarely spoken of and even now, she felt the pain her daughter did. "I wish she had a different chance. You should have seen her with Lauren, Richard. The young girl didn't fear her, she- It was refreshing, actually. She handed her things, their fingers innertwined as they held hands and ran through the garden." With a smile, she leaned back against the window and pulled him to her. "For a while, she was able to feel the way I do when I'm with you."

"Warm?" he tearsed instantly.

"Mmm, You have no idea... Richard, she deserves a friend and if she's found one in that creature, who are we to tell her it's wrong?"

"It's a dragon, Kahlan. We know what could happen and how could we..." Releasing a soft sigh, he pushed against her and rested his forehead against hers. "Maybe we could allow it to stay until we see a little more."

"If we allow it, she may let us see more of it." Grinning, she brought her hands to his cheeks. "It will be easier for us to keep an eye on them."

"You're right."

Circling her arms around his shoulders, she pushed into him. "I have a surprise for you."

"You do?" he whispered in curiosity. "What is it?"

Raising an eyebrow, she began walking away from him, heading to their bed. Sitting down, she crossed her legs and began unlacing her dress, holding his eyes as he rushed toward her. Richard crawled onto the bed, pushing her back to the covers, holding his body above hers. Returning his kiss, Kahlan pulled on his shoulders, matching his passion. They had spent many days this way, their bodies close as their mouths fought a war they didn't care to lose. He rediscovered her at every moment, his hands finding their way over her until she could stand no more. It quickly became one of his favorite activities, bringing her higher until she had to shove him back to set her magic free.

The moment had become routine, the Seeker pausing just until she sucked in another breath and then rushing to reclaim her. Again and again, they held the other closer, gasping their lover's name in a fired passion as they fell over the edge.

With her heart pounding, she slowed her hips, holding his hands to her beasts as her head fell back. Shifting her weight, she met his eyes and blinked him back into focus.

Moving his hands, she lowered them to her stomach and paused, waiting for the right moment to speak.

"I'm pregnant," she managed to whisper before he jumped up.

His lips set upon hers before her next breath was able to form, his chest pressed against hers as he pushed her back to the bed. A united groan left both of their lips as he slipped from her warmth, but his mouth instantly covered her jaw, neck and chest. His desire for her had ready begun to regrow, but the news of their child within her sent him flying. Richard kissed over her chest and breasts, pausing for a few moments to appreciate the beauty of her, before he continued her journey to her stomach. His hands moved up and down her sides, gliding as her body raised from the warm, sweaty blankets.

Lifting his head, he licked a warm trail from her bellybutton back to her lips and as gently as possible, pushed his body against hers. "When did you know?"

"This morning. I woke up and I... I can feel her. Here," she whispered as she brought his right hand to her stomach. "Do it, I want you to feel her too."

Pulling his hand back, he shook his head, pushing his forehead against her cheek. "It's dangerous, Kahlan. I don't want to hurt either of you."

"It will be fine, I promise, she is too small for any harm to come to her."

Lifting his head, he met her eyes. "And you? Kahlan, please don't ask me to do that."

Nodding, she moved her fingers from his cheeks to his hair. "Alright, I'm sorry." Giving him a quick kiss, she pushed into him. "I wish I could share this feeling with you."

"You are, I can see it in your eyes. I've never seen such happiness."

"Then it is clear you have not been paying attention. I'm always this happy with you."

"Not this happy," he corrected her through a whisper. "This is the same expression you held our first night together."

"Mmmhm, the night you gave me Emma."

"The night I should have held you tighter."

Smiling, she bucked her hips against his. "You've learned well."

"It's hard to let go of you."

"I don't want you to."

Leaning into her, he shared her breaths. "You can't go out there tomorrow, anywhere, Kahlan. It's not safe and I-"

"I will make arrangements to have my confessions sent to the palace."

"Kahlan-"

"I cannot dismiss the confessions Richard. I am strong enough to continue as I have until I give birth."

"I don't want anything to happen to you."

"I will be fine, I promise. It has been done this way for generations and I was able to do much more when I carried Emma. There is no need to worry."

Richard smiled for a moment, their eyes locked. "I always worry about you, Kahlan. We- We may not have been as close when you were pregnant with Emma, but I always worried about you."

"I know and I should have thanked you for all that you did."

"I didn't want you to," he admitted softly. "I hoped to keep it hidden, I couldn't let you know that I still wanted to- After what happened, I didn't want you to know that I still loved you."

Her head tilted to the right, a sad smile on her lips as she ran her hands over his arms. "I always knew. It was the only thing I was sure of."

"I don't know how you could have been."

Her smile widened at once as she fought a laugh. "The rabbits, I knew Tony hadn't- You're the only one who could capture them that way. I knew you had given them to him; same as the trout those few nights we were by the river. The berries for my watch and the way you hovered around me during a fight, no matter how small it was... I knew, Richard. I just couldn't respond the right way."

Kissing her briefly, he chuckled. "I don't think there was a right way. If you would have confronted me, I would have denied it all, but I didn't like it when you thanked him for it."

Shifting beneath him, she held his eyes. "I would have thanked you in an entirely different way."

"Zedd would have-"

"Needed to shield his eyes," she interrupted seductively. Touching his face once again, she grinned. "We have to talk about the beard..."

"You don't like it?" he questioned as he brushed it against her chin and jaw.

Her laugh filled the room as she rolled over him, holding his hands still beside his head. "It's scratchy. I liked it better as it was before, when I came to the palace."

"As the Mother Confessor wishes, I will trim it."

Kahlan gave a brief smile before sitting up above him, his body following instantly. Their chests lingered against the others, their mouths a breath apart as she touched her fingers to his cheeks. "Would you like some help?"

"There's no one I trust more to do it."

Pulling back, she raised an eyebrow. "Are you sure? A sharp blade in my hands... A pregnant Confessor- Who knows what I am capable of?"

"Why Mother Confessor, you have given birth, I believe you are capable of anything. I think you are smart enough to keep the sharp part of the blade away from you."

"Accidents happen," she continued to tease as she leaned back, giving him a full view of her breasts. "I could be overcome with grief of leaving this bed..." Her words trailed off as his eyes followed his hands to her stomach, her back now laying against the bed. "It feels like you're imagining it. A mix of our magic uniting."

He stared at the slightly freckled skin, his hands moving slowly over the soft porcelain as though she would break at any moment. "I can't wait to meet her."

"Me either."

Returning his eyes to hers, he suddenly held a panic she couldn't grasp. "Are you hungry? Do you need anything? I could-"

"I'm fine," she whispered as she grabbed his hands. "If I need anything, I'll let you know." He held her gaze for a moment, hoping to read her the way she did everyone else. "I promise, Richard."

He dropped himself down beside her at her words, his right hand lingering on her stomach as he traced his fingers over a few of the freckles. "Is it too soon to name her?"

"No, did you have something in mind?"

"Look how big she got mommy!" Emma shouted joyfully.

They were in the courtyard of the Confessor's Palace watching a dragon fly above them. Emma was jumping around her mother, both watching in wonder as they waited for the Seeker to join them. Kahlan was constantly surprised by the creature, from its gracefulness to its humanity. The creature was a dark purple, her scales lined in a blue that was captivating until you saw the redness of the eyes. It was more than she originally thought, remaining close to the young Confessor as though she was her only protection, sensing everything.

"She's much larger than she was when I tucked the two of you into her last night."

"She's bigger than my room! Mommy, look! Swoop!" The dragon swirled in the air, matching the circle Emma drew with her finger. "She's pretty!"

"Spirits..."

"What are we- Is that Doris?" Richard asked as he stepped beside the two women.

"Mmhm, she's been playing with Emma for the last hour. I don't remember her being so big last night."

Taking her hand, he brushed his shoulder against hers and grinned. "That's because last night, she was small enough to fit into her bed. Now, she's the size of your favorite fountain."

"It is a beautiful fountain," she responded quietly.

"It is, but it's not you."

Glancing his direction, she grinned. "You always know what to say, don't you?"

"Only when I'm speaking the truth."

"You couldn't lie-"

"I don't have to lie about your beauty, Kahlan."

Squeezing his hand, she fought a laugh. "I'm carrying your child, your opinion is forced."

"You're right," he said softly, expecting a surprised glance that never came. "After you give birth, I may be able to see you clearer."

Shrugging her shoulders, she took a short side-step in his direction and lowered her voice. "I suppose that means you wouldn't mind if I was to walk around naked."

"If the Mother Confessor wishes to walk around naked, she would have to accept the many visits from Lord Rahl, demanding all of her attention."

"In more ways than one, I am sure," she teased without pause.

He was squeezing her hand so tight, she had lost partial feeling, but she showed no sign. "Spirits, Kahlan..."

Looking to him innocently, she blinked slowly. "Yes?"

"Daddy look! Doris is so big! She can fly over the whole city!"

Richard lifted her in his arms, holding her with his left while returning his right to Kahlan's. "She can?" he asked excitedly as he looked up at the creature who swooped down close to them. "Are you two ready to go camping?"

"Can Doris come too?"

Richard met Kahlan's eyes at once, questioning without words. "She may be able to help us with dinner," the brunette responded with a smile. "And if she breathes fire... We would be safer with a dragon on our side."

"Alright, she can come, but you still have to look out for her."

"I will daddy, I promise! You're coming with us Doris!" The dragon flew past with a high screech, one that brought the Mother Confessor to cover her ears. "She's excited too!"

"We should get moving if we want to be there before nightfall. We can take the carriage-"

"I've already prepared the horses, Lord Rahl," Kahlan interrupted. "I can ride just fine. I have been pregnant for four months without an accident, I think I can handle a few hours on the saddle."

"Do I get my own horse?" Emma asked casually. "I can be big!"

"Emma, I-" Richard sighed in defeat. "You're not going to let me say no, are you?"

"I was going to ask mommy next," she said with a grin.

Kahlan chuckled as turned toward them. "I was going to agree with your father, but I did prepare three horses. You're going to ride with him, we need the other to help carry our supplies."

"I don't want-!"

The Mother Confessor stepped in close, holding her daughter's eyes. "You will ride with him, it's safest. Do you understand?"

Nodding, the young girl tightened her holds on her fathers shirt. "Yes, mommy."

Turning away, she closed her eyes and took in a deep breath. "We should go."

"Kahlan-"

"I'm sorry..."

Kahlan looked back at the two of them and smiled. "I'll get the horses."

"Are you alright?" Richard asked as he knelt down beside the Mother Confessor. Kahlan had been quiet for most of their journey and he could see her mind spinning as she watched their daughter run through the trees, following the dragon above.

"Fine," she replied without hesitation. "I worry about her." Meeting his eyes, she sighed and moved closer, needing to feel more of his warmth. "I am afraid for her all of the time and earlier, when I thought of her riding alone-"

"All you could think about was what could go wrong." he said, almost taking each word from her mouth. "Me too. It's our job to worry, Kahlan. If we didn't, she wouldn't stand a chance. We worry so that she doesn't have to. Look at her, she knows she is safe because we are here and we will do everything we can to protect her."

"Maybe," she whispered as she looked back to the young girl. "But I don't like the fear of losing her. Before, I- She was all I had of you and I refused to let her out of my sight."

"You kept her safe."

"But it's not something I'll always be able to do."

"She's smart, Kahlan. She won't go looking for trouble."

With a soft chuckle, she moved into his arms. "I don't know, she found the dragon rather easily."

"Only one."

"You're right. One isn't a need to worry, two... That would bring panic." He joined in on her laugh for a moment, his hold tightening as she shifted once again. "She's growing too fast, Richard."

"I know, but that doesn't mean we can't keep an eye on her. Even when she's old, we'll be telling her to walk instead of running with weapon in hand... No one stays young forever."

"Mmm, that would be nice, though."

He knew she was referring to the years she had experienced while he was in training and knew better than to comment in the way she expected. "I think we all wish for something..."

"What do you wish for?"

"A home filled with our children."

"I may be able to help you with that wish, Lord Rahl."

Resting his chin on her shoulder, he watched their daughter roll through the grass. "Only you can."

"They will catch us, Doris," Emma whispered to the dragon. "Daddy will kill you if he finds out and mommy- Shh, they'll hear you. No, we can't go! No! Stop it!" she half screamed through a whisper as the creature pulled on her dress with its teeth. "No, Doris! I can't go!" With swift speed, Doris leapt into the air, grabbing the young girl with her feet and flying away. "I said no, Doris!"

Kahlan jumped forward at the sudden scream, moving at the same speed as Richard while coming to her feet. "Emma!"

The dragon circled the air above them with a roar that shook the ground and brought the Seeker's eyes to the tree line. "Kahlan, I need you to stand behind me and hold onto my shirt. I need to know where you are while they-"

"Emma!"

"Now Kahlan!" The Mother Confessor rushed to do as he asked and took hold of his shirt. "You can't look up to her right now, alright? She's safe, Doris is protecting her."

"How can you be sure?"

"Because she's in the sky."

They were surrounded and Kahlan held the back of his shirt loosely, free of fear as their unknown enemy came close. Richard raised his right hand with a breath as steady as he waited for the right moment to attack. He didn't understand why it was happening and who the people were. Kahlan was not wearing the white dress of the Mother Confessor, making it difficult for them to be recognized, especially when he refused to wear the robes of a Lord Rahl and if they had no idea who they were, maybe their names would bring them to a stop.

"Why have you come to attack the Mother Confessor and I?" The men didn't pause as they looked to her, many smiling. They were larger man than the usual ones that approached and uniformed in colors neither had seen before. "Stop now or the next step you take will be your last."

The next few minutes were a slow blur of smoke and a smell neither wanted to hold onto. One by one the men were set on fire as they attempted to come close, burning them to the ground until there was a single man left. Kahlan held still as Richard stepped forward, allowing him the chance to do as he wished. Her first wish was to confess the man, but he would have the first option.

"If you don't want to end up like your friends, you will tell me why you are here!" Richard was angry, his sword feeding off of the attack on his family.

"We are here for the child."

"Why?"

"I do not know," he answered quietly. "I am given orders, I am not to question them."

"Is he telling the truth?"

"Yes," Kahlan replied without pause.

Straightening his back, Richard lowered his sword but kept his eyes on the other man. "Will you confess him?"

The man instantly began inching backward, holding out his arms in self defense. He held no weapon, but Kahlan knew it didn't take away the threat. From the way Richard was breathing, she also knew that it was incredibly difficult for him to hand her the situation, the urge and need to protect his family in full ride on the anger. Taking a step forward, she came around and reached out to the man.

"If I do not confess you, he will give you a death far worse than any you can imagine."

The man's eyes closed as she grabbed his throat, accepting the fate he had before him and within a moment, he was hers.

"Mistress! Forgive me! I should not have come for your child!"

"No, you shouldn't," she said softly. "Where are you from?"

"I am a soldier from Amstel, Mistress."

"How can you come after a child without questioning the order?!" Richard shouted as he turned away. He was attempting to calm himself, but couldn't gasp the feeling. "She is a child! She is not yours to take!"

"I can find the answers you seek, mistress. I can go back and-"

"If you go back, they will kill you. I've heard of the man who rules that land and if he is the one behind this attempt, he will torture and then kill you without hesitation. We will find answers without your assistance. What's your name?"

"Peter."

"Peter," she repeated softly, "you are going to go and find a new life. Make something worthy of yourself and help others. You will not stay near me or my family, do you understand me?"

In complete sadness, he nodded. "Yes, mistress."

"Go." The man bowed his head and quickly walked away, looking back to her for an extra nod to continue. "We need to find Emma."

"We need to kill everyone-"

Grabbing his face, she pulled him to her and held his eyes. She knew that it should scare her, the strength of his magic, but it didn't. He held no sword, but he was just as deadly and the anger was just as hot. "Richard, listen to me. We will go after them, we will make them pay for what they've done, but not until our daughter is safe with us." He stared angrily in her eyes for a few moments as he shared her breaths. His anger radiated off of him in every way, his sweat boiled as it dropped down his face. "If you wish to protect your family, you must calm down."

"They tried to take her from us." Kahlan stepped back at the tone of his voice. It had been months since she had heard a pain so strong and the look in his eyes was evenly heavy.

"We won't let them take her, Richard. You," she added as he hands came to his shoulders with a firm grip. "You will keep us safe, all of us, but we need to find Emma."

"I'm right here, mommy..." Kahlan spun around to the whispered voice and rushed to take her daughter in her arms. Richard suddenly dropped to his knees and covered his face, releasing a sound the Mother Confessor knew very well. "I'm sorry, I told her I couldn't go, but she wouldn't listen. Doris said we- I tried to bring her back to help... I'm sorry mommy."

"It's alright, I'm not upset with you. Doris kept you safe, that is what's important."

Emma looked over her mother's shoulder to her father, who had yet to move. "Daddy?"

"Did you see where they came from?" he asked as he, at last, look up. "When you were flying above us, did you see-"

"West," she answered softly as their eyes met. Kahlan's heart stopped as she watched a flash of fear enter the young girls eyes. "Daddy, what's wrong?"

"Emma," her mother whispered as Richard came to his feet. "Do you remember what we told you about the darkness in the Rahl magic?" It took a moment before she nodded, her eyes locked on her father. "This is that piece. We have nothing to be afraid of."

"Everyone else does," she whispered in understanding.

Richard walked toward the women, his eyes staring into the trees as though he expected something more. Without question, Kahlan took his hand and stood, waiting for his instruction.

"You are not to leave my side." He gave a quick, loud whistle and looked up as Doris soared toward them. "When she lands," he added a little more gently than before, "we will ride her back to the palace."

The creature landed gracefully before them, her eyes watching Richard as though they were speaking.

"Richard," Kahlan said as she stumbled back a step. His head turned immediately, watching in confused fear as she released his hand and grabbed her stomach. "Something's wrong."

Richard it didn't wait to act, picking her up, he held her tightly in his arms and with the dragons help, he crawled to her back, followed quickly by their young daughter. The Mother Confessor fought he urge to groan in pain, knowing what it would do the Seeker, though from the way he looked at her, it was clear he knew.

"Doris wants to sit with us," Emma said as she entered her parent's bedroom. "She'll be quiet."

For the first time in what felt to be days, Richard looked up from the woman sleeping in their bed. "Alright, I think she'd enjoy the company."

"Can I... Can I sit with you?" He nodded and leaned back in his chair, opening his arms just as the dragon squeezed through the door. "Be careful, Doris, daddy made that." Looking back to her father, she crawled onto his lap and grabbed his shirt for comfort. "What's wrong with her?"

"I don't know," he whispered. "I tried to search for the- I thought her magic was growing again, but she lost some blood... She won't wake up."

"Maybe she's tired," the young girl offered. "She's been busy with Confessions... She said that camping would make her feel better."

Richard looked to her in surprise, "She hasn't been feeling well?"

"Her head hurt. I saw her throw up after her meeting with the council. But we played..."

Rubbing his temples with the fingers on his left hand, he sighed. He knew he had been missing events, but he never thought they would have lead him here. Training with Emma took up most of the day, leaving her to her daily duties as long as she promised to be careful and she had, or so he thought. He had asked around, making sure she was eating regularly and pausing between confessions, each seemed to be going well, until now. Stories filled his ears by the handmaidens and kitchen staff, each knowing a different one about a Confessor who endured pain during their pregnancy. Some died, some lived, but were never the same. Kahlan was strong, he knew it would take something fierce to bring her down, but as he looked at her pale face, he prayed the time hadn't arrived.

"What are we going to do?"

"Wait," he answered softly. "It's all we can do."

"What about the men who came through the trees?"

"I can't leave now, Emma. I shouldn't go, not without her."

"Because of anger?"

He couldn't help but smile for a moment, seeing the woman laying beside them inside the young girl. She could see things clearly and didn't hesitate to ask questions. "Yes. I'm sorry I scared you earlier."

"It's okay. Mommy says you're better at holding it in, like I can with my magic. I-" Lowering her eyes, she tried to think. "I'm not sure that's right. Is it like my magic?"

"Somewhat. I don't know how else to explain it, but I don't know how your magic feels either."

"It's heavy inside," she told him quickly. "Sometimes I feel like I'm going explode!" She giggled for a moment and then grew quiet. "It's scary."

"Why?"

"If I let it go... I hurt someone."

"You'd never hurt anyone, Emma."

"I might. I'm afraid of it all the time. Mommy said it doesn't go away... Is that how your anger is for you?"

"A little bit. She's right. The fear, it never goes away."

She turned in his arms, trying to face him the was her mother would when she had a question she knew would hurt him. "Did you hurt mommy?"

"Yes." He answered quickly, part of him wanting her to understand how difficult it could be for her, too. "What I did to her is unforgivable and no matter how tightly I hold onto it, there are times I can't stop myself from losing control."

"What did you do?"

She felt her own heart stop at the sadness on his face. "Please do not ask me to tell you that."

"I'm sorry."

"It's alright, Emma. You should be curious, but there are some things that you shouldn't know, especially this young."

"Oh." Looking back to her mother, she sighed. "I think you're wrong, though."

"About what?"

"Unforgivable... Mommy forgives you."

"How do you know?"

Bringing her eyes back to his, she half smiled. "I broke her favorite vase and she forgave me."

"I didn't break one of her vases, Emma."

"You can't lay with her, Doris!" the young girl shrieked as she noticed her pet attempting to crawl onto the bed with the sleeping Mother Confessor. "Come over here with us, she'll still know you're here."

"When was the last time you fed her?"

"Before we came in here. She ate two of the goats in the field, but she's still hungry."

"Do you want to go with Cara to find her something more?"

"What if we leave and then she wakes up?"

"I'll send someone to get you, I promise."

Emma smiled widely for a moment and lowered herself to the floor. "Let's go Doris, daddy wants to be alone with mommy." The two girls left the room, the dragon pushing herself through the small door before the young Confessor, who giggled at the sight. "We have to find Cara, she's probably in the training hall with Stan."

The moment the door closed and left him alone, he hurried to the other side of the bed and crawled next to her. For the past eleven hours she had been unconscious, she flinched each time he tried to touch her and after some time, he stopped, thinking that he was upsetting her. He kept his distance as he settled next to her, watching her face for a sign of discomfort.

"I can feel her within you and she's so strong. She's like you. Emma told me- I should have noticed you weren't feeling well and I should have been there to take care of you." A soft chuckle escaped him for a breath as his thoughts continued. "You would be telling me that's it's alright, training Emma was important, but so are you. Emma can handle a few days away from training and you should have said something. Kahlan, I didn't notice and you should have tied me to the wall until I did... You knew something was wrong, didn't you? I keep replaying it in my mind and you insisted that we go."

Laying his hand on the low swell of her stomach, he closed his eyes. "I can't lose you, Kahlan. If you needed a break, I'd- I would have tried to help." A low groan suddenly left her lips, gaining his attention, but before he could move she was silent again. Richard took the opportunity to inch closer and gently bring her into his arms. She gave no sound or motion of protest, instantly calming the racing of his heart. "It won't happen again, Kahlan, I promise. I feel I promise to protect you more than I do. I'm late in responding and it has caused you so much pain. I know that you do not blame me, but I do. How can I be so blind that I cannot protect my family? I should have known danger was coming and kept you and Emma safe, but I didn't and if Doris hasn't taken her away, I fear that I would have lost her."

"I know you're listening," he added after a moment of pure silence. "You always are. I can't lose you, Kahlan. Without you, Emma and Kristy, I will wither into madness. You are my family; you're my home."

Kahlan flung forward, knocking him away as she gasped for a heavy breath. Her eyes were red and wet as she touched her right hand to her mouth. "Spirits... No!" she half shouted as he reached out for her. He didn't understand what was happening, but he couldn't fight the urge to comfort her. "Please do not touch me..." His first thought was of the hold she had on her magic, assuming that the hours she spent asleep had weakened it, but the look in her eyes when she turned toward him said something different.

"What's wrong?"

"I can't bare it any longer," she whispered as her hands came to her stomach. "She... She's a prophet, Richard."

"What do you mean?"

"She can see the future; she showed me things." Turning toward him, she licked her lips. "The visions started a few days ago and some of them have been... Intense."

"Days? Kahlan-"

"They started in my dreams, I wasn't sure what was happening, but when it happened at one of my meetings with the council, I knew. I removed one of the member based on the vision."

"How often has it happened?"

"It hasn't happened as often as you think. When you touched me... Each time you touched me, I saw a piece of your future."

"Kahlan-"

Covering her face, she leaned back on the bed and took in a slow breath. "There's a war coming." Lowering her hands, she looked over to his confused expression. "I hoped was all over, Richard. I thought that maybe we were free to live the... We're never going to have the life where we eat dinner as a family every night, are we?"

With a soft chuckle, the Seeker surprised her. "We wouldn't want anything to change."

"We don't want the war that is coming either."

"Maybe she showed you so we can prevent it."

Reaching over to him, she started to touch her hand to his cheek, but stopped in fear of another vision coming from the contact. "Maybe," she whispered. "I saw you do remarkable things."

"And maybe it was all a dream."

A small smile crossed her lips as she closed her eyes. She was exhausted and she couldn't remember sleeping. "How long was I unconscious?"

"Half a day."

"I'm sorry," she responded naturally. "I didn't want to worry you."

"You lost a lot of blood, Kahlan."

"I'm sorry, I didn't realize how hard holding it all in has been. I thought I would be able to endure it longer."

"Why didn't you say anything?"

"Because you would have tied me to the bed to protect me."

"How is she?"

"Strong," she smiled. "I don't think she noticed the rest."

"Neither did you." His hand came to her face, but stopped just before it made contact. He had brushed his fingers across the side of her face so many times, it was instinct and he hated having to pause. "I'm sorry."

Holding her eyes on his hovering hand, she nodded slowly. "It's alright. Maybe it won't happen every time you touch me..."

"We shouldn't risk it," he whispered to her.

She looked to his eyes as he moved his hand back, seeing the disappointment in them. "It's alright, Richard. Please..." She could hear the desperation in her own voice. She couldn't remember the last time he touched her and having him so close made her need his comfort even more. "Just for a moment?"

Richard moved slowly, inching closer without touching his body to hers. Being as careful as possible, he leaned down and gently pressed his lips to her forehead, the rest of his body far from touching hers. She didn't flinch, a good sign to them both, but he didn't linger.

"Try to sleep, you both need the rest."

"Is this what it's like for you? When you see my memories?"

"What does it feel like?"

"I can't breathe, even though I can feel the air flowing through my lungs. I see it as though I'm there, standing within the flames of battle or standing in front of our bed while we..." A smile crossed her lips as she recalled one of the visions she had seen. She knew they were filled with passion, but seeing it had been a whole new experience. They were wild and rough, though their bodies never showed. They were flawless in motion, connected fully in a way she had never known and in each moment, she would swear they could be no closer.

"You've seen a vision of us sharing our bed?"

"Mmhm... We have quite the night to work up to," she teased. "I never knew such pleasures-"

"Spirits, Kahlan," he interrupted as he rolled onto his back and closed his eyes. She was using a tone she only had with him, one he knew she didn't realize she had, even the effect it had on him. She could seduce any man with a single word, but they fell on him alone and with a heavy fire of desire. "If you want me to keep from touching you, you're going to have to stop there..." His hand rubbed over his pants, trying to calm the rise she brought from him, an action she didn't miss.

"Who me?" She continued softly. "I'm afraid I do not know what it is you are speaking of. I was simply remembering the sight of your hands on me... Your mouth covering my-"

Unable to hold back any longer, he rolled over and tackled her lips with his. She graciously returned his kiss, pulling him closer as she had done so many times before. Within seconds, he was laying above her, silently cursing the blanket for keeping him from ripping apart her clothes. Snaking his right hand beneath the covers, he ran his fingers down her side and slowly traced the swell of her stomach. It drove Kahlan mad not understanding how he found it to be attractive, but it seemed to fuel his desire for her all the more, so she kept quiet. It had been weeks since he had laid above her for so long, fearing that he would hurt their daughter with any weight of him pressed against her. Moments after they began he had their positions switched or her back pressed against a wall, a slight alteration that kept him from hurting their unborn child.

The idea made the Mother Confessor laugh, but he wouldn't have it any other way, constantly doing everything possible to keep her safe. She could almost hear his thoughts on the matter now as he shifted again and again, trying to gain the pressure they both wanted without lingering his weight, his mouth finding it impossible to leave hers. Her first thought was to roll them over, but she wasn't sure she would remain conscious long enough to finish. She already felt herself losing control, her head light and if she moved too quickly, she'd be asleep before they experienced anything more than a teasing game.

"I need you," she panted in a heavy breath while she pulled on the blanket. "Now."

The next few breaths were a blur as he unlaced his pants and she removed the thick cloth between them. Her legs wrapped around his waist instantly, urging him to move faster as her heart raced in anticipation. Their lips reconnected as he maneuvered her dress, readying her for the next moment.

She froze mid-kiss as he pushed forward, stretching her, filling her slowly and then coming to a stop himself. Point back his head, he reached to her face and gently began wiping away her tears in confusion. Before he could speak, she let out a loud cry of horrific pain and threw him from her. Richard rushed to stop her, but she was too fast, stumbling to her feet, she tried to run from the room, but could only make it a few steps before she collapsed to the hard, wood floor in tears. She screamed as he knelt beside her, hoping to comfort her, but it was made clear his touch made it worse.

"No!" she shouted as she slapped her hand against his. "Don't touch me!" Covering her face with her own hands, she sobbed. "It's not safe."

"What did you see?" he asked calmly. He could see the terror in her eyes and knew to remain calm to help it soak into her. "Kahlan, look at me... It's alright, I promise. What did you see?"

She was crying now, harder than he had seen her do in a while and she cried often. "I did something terrible," she whimpered.

"Kahlan," he started quietly, deciding to pause. "It's just a vision, whatever it is that you did, it hasn't happened and I'm sure- Kahlan, you would never do anything-"

"I hurt you..." she whispered as she found his eyes with hers. "I... I lost control and you..."

He wrapped his arms around her without thought, knowing that it was the only way she would find an ounce of comfort to listen to what he was about to tell her. "I'm right here and I'm alright... Listen to me, I-"

"I confessed you, Richard. We were... This has always been a bad idea and I-"

She was pushing her hands against him, trying to get away, her tears still falling down her cheeks. "Kahlan, listen to me, stop it. Hold still- What did you see?"

"We were... How could I have-"

Richard pulled back just enough to gently take hold of her face. "You would never confess me, Kahlan." He gave her a small smile, hoping to ease her mind. "If you lost control in the midst of our passion, I'm sure it wasn't as terrible as you think."

She blinked, far from pleased with his words. "Richard-"

"You saw it and we both know that you would do anything to prevent it. Come here..." His face was suddenly close to hers, sharing her breath as their noses touched. "Do you still see it?"

"Please don't-"

"Do you see it?"

"No... I don't see anything. You can't avert prophecy, Richard."

"We have, many times. I know you and you would do anything to protect me, even from yourself."

She studied his face through her tears, trying to understand how he always trusted her. Bringing her right hand to his cheek, she gave him a sad smile, watching his face relax to her touch. "I can't lose you, Richard."

"You won't, I promise."

Darting her eyes to the floor, she suddenly felt embarrassed. She had pushed him from her body and from the sigh of him, she was surprised she had been able to. He was strongly ready for her, but he didn't act upon it. She hated having been the one to seduce him and then shut down completely, it wasn't fair to him, it was cruel.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be," he replied quickly. "I understand that it frightens you, but if anyone was going to confess me, it would be Emma." Her eyes came to his in confusion as he grinned. "She'd never accept 'no' to another story at bedtime."

"Because you've spoiled her."

"That's my job," he chuckled. Her eyes lowered to his pants, slowly enough for his to follow. "Kahlan-"

"I'm sorry."

He didn't hurry to lace his pants as she first thought. Instead, he let out a soft sigh and looked back to her face, almost surprised when she reached for him. "Kahlan, no- You don't have to do that."

Her hand remained still as she met his eyes. "Yes, I do."

Covering her hand with his, he shook his head and leaned closer to her. "I do not need a release to be happy with you. Come here, you should rest." Her hand didn't move, even as he nudged it with his. She held his eyes with a warm fire, telling him that the movement of her hand was not the only thing she wished to do. "You won't hurt me, Kahlan."

She released her hold and moved rapidly, crawling onto his lap until she was able to press her chest against his.

There had been nights before when they remained in this position, their foreheads touching as they whispered, Richard constantly dropping his eyes to her belly as though he could see their daughter clearly. It had become one of the few comforts he had found himself able to give her.

"I'm sorry, Richard."

He meant to tell her that it was alright, but all he managed to do was let loose a soft growl as her hips rocked against him. He had noticed weeks ago that this seemed to be where she felt most comfortable, partly because he believed it was because she thought he couldn't see the swell of her stomach. His hands usually traveled over her back and sides, a small way of comforting her as the rest of their bodies remained still. It was the same when their clothes were gone, only it was difficult to remain in the position for long before one of them began nipping at the other's lips.

Bringing his hands around her sides, he brushed them over her stomach. She couldn't help but smile as she realized what he was doing, it wasn't the first time he attempted to feel something. Opening her eyes, she kept still, holding her forehead against his while she fought a laugh.

"She's over here," she told him as she guided his hands to the left of her bellybutton. "I think she's sleeping."

Richard laughed, pulling back to meet her eyes. "At least one of our children will sleep. I..." His words trailed off as he watched her face, seeing a light glaze cover her eyes. His first instinct was to panic, but the expression on her face had him calm. She was receiving another vision. "Are you alright?"

Her eyes were still glazed, but he could see her again as she grinned. "I'm fine, I-" Locking her lips, she brought her hands to his cheeks and tilted her head. "How many children do you want?"

The way she asked told him that she genuinely wanted to know and that she had an answer already in her mind. The smile on her face stretched to his as he pretended to think, pushing his lips together to emphasize the moment. "We must have no less than four," he replied with a nod. "Perhaps nine, but then we would need another to make it even, we can't leave one out in the games... Ten to start." Her eyes widened, her jaw dropping enough to make him laugh, but he didn't change his answer. "I plan to help you create as many children as I can."

"I saw something..." she whispered secretly. "Something beautiful."

"What did you see?"

Lowering her hands to rest on his shoulders, she stroked his neck with her fingers. "You... Emma, Kristy... Two more, one hanging off of your back while the other held onto your leg."

His smile was just as wide as hers, covering his face. "How beautiful were they?"

"Do you want to see?"

He hesitated and she knew he would. If he used his magic to see into her mind, there was a chance it could weaken her and she was almost sure that he would decline her words. "More than anything," he whispered. "I should find some paint," he continued with a chuckle. "After she's born, ask me again."

"It's a deal."

"And what do you receive in this deal?"

"I'm afraid it's going to cost you a few nights... Like this."

"This deal is in my favor, Mother Confessor."

Shrugging her shoulders, she leaned back enough to look down at her stomach. "You may change your mind in a few weeks."

"You're right," he responded quietly, knowing where her mind had fallen. When she looked up and met his eyes, he grinned. "The clothes will have to be removed."

She couldn't help but laugh. The way that he spoke calmed her, easing her fear that he would not find the large swell of her belly attractive. "We may have to negotiate again on that part."

"I'll win," he stated factually. "I'll have you naked before you are able to state your argument."

Shifting her hips against his, she pushed forward, teasing him just enough to cause his breath to pause. "You will try."

Beinging his hands to the laces at the top of her dress, he leaned forward to hold her attention on his face."It will be easy," he told her in a tone that had her heart racing too fast to realize he was untying her dress. "I'll distract you with a kiss and before you know it, my hands..." As his words drifted into silence, he pushed his hands inside her dress and without hesitation, took hold of her breasts.

Her hips jerked forward at his touch, her stomach tightened and her nails dug into his neck. She may have panted his name, but she couldn't be sure it left her lips. She learned long ago that Richard was good with his hands, consistently finding a way to draw all thought from her mind. That is, everything except for the basic need for more. Her embarrassment for requests had died down a few months ago, leading the couple into a deeper forest than before as she guided him through her desires. She was never able to speak the words aloud, but with a nudge or movement, she gave him all the instruction he needed.

Rolling her hips, she began moving her dress, suddenly wishing to have it ripped from her body. He didn't wait for her motion to move before he pulled one hand from her breast and snaked it beneath the bottom of her dress. Her head fell back with a long moan, her back arching away, giving him a full view of her bare breasts as he slipped his left hand around her to keep them from falling to the floor. He worked her slowly at first, rising her to her height with each breath until a soft hiss left her lips. It was the first signal to pull back, to pause his movements while she gathered her magic. Bringing her chest back to his, she sucked in a heavy breath and opened her eyes.

He tried to describe the darkness to her once, the way it called to him in a whisper the way his sword did, but the words never came close to the moment. It was one of the most beautiful things he had ever seen and when the time came and their eyes met, he continued his previous movements.

She rocked against his hand and it was sloppy, telling him exactly where she was in passion. In a few rolls of her hips, she would throw herself from his body and release her magic and then the night truly began.

Kahlan often found the release of her magic in their bedroom to be harder than the others, her body shaking as it lifted from the bed, her hands clinging to the blankets for some safety. Another mystery to her was that the sight and rumble of it always seemed to make the Seeker more eager to continue. After a gasp for air, he was back against her, his mouth covering her chin, jaw and neck until she bucked her hips to his. It was a race to the finish, one that took most of the night and neither cared who won. His hands would travel from her breasts, to her back and anywhere they would reach, sending waves of serenity through her at each moment. He would shift their position often, finding a new way to hold her against him while he rediscovered what made her ache for more.

They had grown fond of a few that always made it into their night, a perfect combination of thrusts and squeezes that had them both panting in close release.

Richard pulled back with a grunt, dropping his head in the crook of her neck to concentrate on his continued thrusts. He was clinging to the edge of the cliff, holding back with all of his strength as her nails dug into his sides. It was the moments he wished to understand, but could never make sense of. He was as close to her as possible, but he always wanted more. There was no space between them and yet, he felt something there and until the moment they fell together, it lingered in his mind.

He collapsed onto her for a brief breath, his body then quickly rolling onto her side. Draping his arm over her stomach, he rolled onto his side and inched closer to her until he was able to press his nose against her neck. For the next few minutes, neither moved as they caught their breaths. Kahlan held her eyes closed as she regained control over her rising magic and Richard remained still and watched. He told her once that in this time he could see her differently, feel her as though something was seeping into him and though she laughed, he never took it back.

"Are you alright?" he questioned as time passed.

She was silent for a moment and completely still as he lifted his head to look at her. "Fine," she answered quickly, unsure that anything more would cause her to lose control. The magic was stronger when she carried a child and it took longer to regain her hold after falling freely with him in passion. She wasn't sure she would be able to answer him, but she knew how worried he would be if she remained quiet.

He waited until her head turned toward him and then instantly lifted her into his arms. She put up no fight as he carried her back to the bed, though there was a moment he was sure she hated being treated like a child. She looked calm and peaceful as he covered her, a pleasant sight that overshadowed the pain he had seen hours before. The release of her magic always seemed to help, the build up of it within stronger with the mixture.

Crawling onto the bed, he laid on his back at her side, his left arm propped beneath his head. His heart continued to race, his mind filled with thoughts of what she had told him, part of him trying to imagine the children she had seen. If she asked, he would admit to being surprised when he heard the number of them, but it didn't last long. He was excited in a way he thought to be impossible, each moment he let his mind linger, his heart threatened to jump out of his mouth. He had promised her to help full the palace with their children and it was exactly what they were going to do.

There was a fear he had hidden deep within, one he prayed to disappear with many breaths, but when she mentioned 'daughters' it almost faded. He spent nights imagining what would happen if he gave her a son. The pain and torment it would bring her was unbearable and what made it worse was knowing that if she did give birth to his son, she would give her own life to protect his. The High Council had spoken with him about it, many times and with each, they made sure the Mother Confessor was unaware. Richard knew what they would do if she conceived a son and though he had planned an escape for them, he hoped he never needed to take his family away from the life that was meant for them.

"I can hear you thinking," Kahlan whispered. Her eyes were still closed, but she could see him clearly beside her. He was predictable in many ways, something she found to be comforting.

"I'm sorry," he replied as he turned his head toward hers. "I thought it was quiet."

Grinning, she reached for his hand, finding it without opening her eyes. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," he answered honestly. "I was thinking about the vision you saw..." Her eyes opened at his words, her head turning to him. "There's nothing wrong with that," he continued with a smile. "I was wondering what their names will be, their favorite food..."

"I was thinking about it, too."

Rolling onto his side, he switched his hands in hers as he propped himself up on his right arm. His eyes lingered on her stomach, his mind imagining the child staring back at him with the bright blue eyes of her mother. "I can't wait to meet them."

"You may change your mind when we are sharing our bed with a little girl during a storm."

Laughing, Richard shook his head. "Two beautiful girls holding onto me for safety? I'm certain that will only encourage my-"

"One," Kahlan corrected him softly. "I won't be able to get near you while she rolls over between us."

"You'll find a way," he told her factually. "How do you feel?"

"Better. How long was I resting?"

He chuckled at her word choice, knowing that she picked them for his benefit. "Not long."

"But longer than usual..." she interpreted smoothly. "She's growing stronger."

"I'm worried about you."

"Don't be. She won't let anything happen, she needs me," she teased.

"Kahlan-"

"If the time comes and she's too strong, I'll tell you and I promise I won't complain as you tie me to a chair to rest."

Holding back a laugh, the Seeker nodded in agreement. "Alright."

Her head turned toward the door at the loud dragon roar they heard on the other side, making Richard chuckle. "They're fine. Cara probably has them fearing for their lives... No one disobeys a Mord'Sith."

"Except for you," she told him as she made her way to her side to face him. "She told you not to come after me."

"She was wrong. Kahlan, if the creator, came and told me not to come after you, I still would have rushed through the door and endured everything she could think of to stop me so that I could fall before you."

She smiled, a surprise to him, but he didn't know why. "I know." Dropping her eyes to his chest, she took in a slow breath. "After I gave birth to Emma, I wanted so badly to go to you. I wanted you to know what we created... Cara and Zedd told me not to, but they weren't the reason I didn't go. I laid here one night with her sleeping on my chest and I suddenly knew that when the time was right... I knew you'd come for me." Looking back into his forest eyes, she half grinned. "I didn't expect to be dragged to you, though."

"Me either."

"I don't know what I would have done if you hadn't written me back."

"Me either," he repeated. "I read them over and over... I never knew what to say back to you. I had so many thoughts and questions, I was afraid I would say the wrong thing."

"Nothing would have been wrong, Richard."

"Even if I was upset with you?"

Shaking her head, she sat up and, holding her dress close, she pushed he back against the headboard. "You have every right to be upset with me. There were times I- When I received one of your letters, I thought that you would... You could have have said something."

With a heavy sigh, he returned to his previous position on his back. "I wrote those letters, Kahlan. I wrote many of them, but I could never make myself send them."

"Why?"

"Because you- Everything you wanted was in your hands. You carried a child and I knew how wonderful of a mother you would be and I didn't want to be the reason you thought another second about what you had to do." Closing his eyes, Richard paused in thought. "I knew that it had been hard for you, too and if I let go of my anger, it would hurt you even more."

"What did you do with the letters?" He remained silent and it said more than a simple three letter word. "They're in the pack, aren't they? The one you've locked in your wardrobe?"

"They are."

"You've kept them all of these months?"

Looking up to her, he sighed. "They aren't filled with anger, not completely."

She wanted to rush to the wooden doors, break them open and read each one, but she couldn't bring herself to move. "Then, what are they filled with?"

"Please don't ask me that."

Kahlan leaned forward in shocked confusion. "Spirits, Richard, what could you have thought- I need to change my dress."

He started to sit up, but froze as she walked to her own wardrobe on the opposite side of the room. She moved slowly, making each motion obvious until she had another piece of cloth in her hands and then disappeared behind a changing wall that hadn't been used in months.

Kahlan took her time as she changed, her mind racing with each breath. When she finished, she sat down on the small chair that was placed against the wall, facing the folded wall that separated her from the man laying on the bed. She felt lightheaded, dizzy as she closed her eyes. It had been too soon to move and she was beginning to become very clear. Taking in several slow; deep breaths, she tried to stop the shaking of her hands, her heart pounding dangerously.


	10. Chapter 10

"Kahlan?" She jumped, hitting her head against the wall as she opened her eyes. "I'm sorry," he whispered, his hands laying over hers. "You've been over here for an hour."

Shrugging her shoulders, she reached to her head with a soft groan. "I must have fallen asleep "

"Kahlan-"

Forcing a smile, she pushed against the wall to help herself to her feet. "I must have been more tired than I realized."

Grabbing her arm, he kept her from walking away and to his surprise, she didn't seem angry about it. "I didn't mean to upset you, Kahlan."

"I know. Richard, I'm not upset. I was- How can I be upset when I was the one- I'm sorry I pushed. I'm not upset, I promise."

Holding her gaze, he tried to read her for more information, something he knew she wasn't going to give him, not now. "I'm sorry."

Turning toward him, she wrapped her arms around his waist and pushed her face into his shoulder. "Don't be." Moving back, she took his hand and smiled. "Come on, we should get some sleep before Cara gets tired of Emma and Doris."

"Kahlan-"

"Alright," she whispered, releasing his hand. "Go. I'm going to sleep for a little while."

Emma was sitting on her mother's lap in her office, reading some of the papers before her. Kahlan had her arms wrapped around the young girl's waist, her chin gently resting on the top of her head as she worked.

"What's this one, mommy?"

"That is the treaty we have with Amstel."

"Treaty? Isn't that where the man came from?"

"It is," she answered with a nod. "He violated many items listed there, do you see? If it is them we are to go to war with, I- Look here," she said softly, pointing to another page that was signed by six different people. "These were signed before you were born. I sat in a room with these men, discussing our terms of peace. This one here, he was the Lord at the time. He's dead now. One of these men is the ruler now and if we can figure out who it is, we may be able to stop an oncoming war."

"We?"

"This is not something I should act upon on my own. Your father and High Council will help to be sure we find the right course of action. Here, this here prevents them from entering our land for any purpose of harm to any of our people. What would you do for the violation of this particular arrangement?"

"I don't know," she replied honestly quiet. "Why-"

"The why is not important, Emma. If there was a truly just reason for wanting to harm someone... If they wanted to meet you, they could have written, asked as they came to us, but they didn't. There were many paths they could have taken, but they chose violence; they chose this path for us."

"And if we take the wrong one we will end in war?"

"It is possible, but I pray we are wise enough to foresee the wrong choice. A war would be devastating to our people; our family."

"Shouldn't daddy be here too?"

Kahlan let out a soft chuckle and tightened her hold on her daughter. "He should be here soon, he had a meeting with Cara."

Picking up one of the papers, Emma brought it close to read what she could. "Did you see this in the vision?"

"What?"

"What we have to do?"

"No," Kahlan said softly. "I only saw a small piece of a war. I'm not sure if there is anything we can do."

Turning her head, she looked up to her mother. "It can't be certain. You want a way- Circling the war?"

"I don't know if this is a prophecy we can avoid."

Touching the swell of her mother's stomach, she grinned. "Maybe you should ask Kristy to show you what to do."

"Have you gone mad?" Cara asked as she stared at the tall man before her. "You kept the letters? The ones you spent all of that time crying over-"

"She's not upset, what does it matter if I kept them?"

The blonde laughed and crossed her arms. "I'm sure. She just walked away and-"

"I asked her, Cara. She isn't upset, she told me that I had every right to be angry with her and what I wrote, it has nothing to do with us now."

"You're delusional. You had the right to put down your thoughts, but you kept them. You held onto them after all this time... She's not upset that you wrote them, she's upset that you still have them."

"She'd have told me."

Shaking her head, the blonde frowned. "You're mad. She wouldn't had told you, she can't, not when she still feels guilty for hiding the kid from you."

"What should I do?"

"Burn the letters."

"I can't do that," he whispered shamefully. "Cara, those letters, they are filled with more than anger and I meant every word. I wrote things that I can never say to her-"

"Then give them to her," the blonde said simply. "Make her throw them in the fire when she's done."

"If she reads them... The family we have, that we will have, it will all be over."

"Why?"

Closing the small distance between them, he lowered his voice. "Because I told her what I did. In those letters, I told her about the woman I was with and not the one she thinks I walked away from."

"You told her you didn't thrust into those women?" The half smile on her face faded at once. "What did you say happened?"

"I told her the truth. Part of it. I couldn't lay with them because they weren't her."

Moving past him, she took in a slow breath. "She thinks you stopped when you used your magic to turn them into her."

Richard grabbed her shoulders and pushed her against the wall in anger. "You will not say anything to her, do you hear me? I told her what I needed to to keep her! She is my family and if I lose her, I will blame you!"

"You've lost your mind. I said nothing about telling her! It's YOU who asked what you should do. Tell her or don't, you're ruined either way." Shoving his arms from her, she turned and walked away with a huff. "Your family is still waiting for you in her office."

"Emma? Where's your mother?"

Jumping up from her mother's chair, she dropped the papers she was coloring and rushed to her father. "Shh! She's over there. She's trying to find a way around the war."

"We need to wake her up. We didn't know the stress this is putting on her body."

"Mommy said she needed to find answers. If she prevents the war, we don't have to be afraid to-"

"Go out and play with Doris, I'm going to take care of this, I promise."

"Is this because she thinks you think mommy is mad at you?"

Richard dropped to his knees at once, hoping to learn some new information. "What did you- Did she say anything? What do you know?"

The young girl blinked and sat down cross legged before him. "Mommy said you think she is upset."

"Is she?"

"She is... Disappointed."

"What did she say?"

Shaking her head, she crossed her arms. "She said you'd ask... I'm not telling."

"She told you not to, didn't she?"

"No," the young girl whispered. "But she said you wouldn't talk to her about it. Now you have to." Coming to her feet, she grinned and made her way past him and out of the room, leaving Richard more than confused.

Kahlan was lying on the floor beneath one of the windows in her office. She had her hands on her stomach as though she was holding it in place. Her eyes were closed, giving the illusion she was sleeping, but he knew better as she came to her side. Her eyes moved rapidly beneath their shield, telling him that she was too deep within a vision to notice he was there. He sat down beside her head so that he could watch more carefully, hoping there wouldn't be a need for him to bring her out of the moment.

A part of him panicked that she had asked to know what he had written in the unseen letters, but no matter how he thought of it, he couldn't make himself believe it was what she did. She wasn't like him. She didn't keep secrets that big, especially from him. Cara told him to give them to her, to allow her into his mind at his most vulnerable state. It wasn't something he thought he could do. She had pushed through those months and survived, he crawled into a hole with a small image of her and destroyed himself. The anger he had felt was more than before. She had left him and he felt betrayed. It wasn't the case, of course, now he knew, but it didn't change his pervious thoughts. It couldn't.

He remembered writing them so clearly, feeling his blood boil while the hair on his body stood at attention. It was what lead him to seek comfort and yes, he couldn't lay with another woman, not until she looked like the woman he loved. It was then that it became easy. He had done things to the other woman, things he could never do Kahlan, things he was shamed of. He had gone into detail in one of his letters to her, at the time, it had been to wound her as she had him. The time of it all lasted two months, dimming the fire as he gained control and found himself able to think. The anger had never truly left until he saw the young girl enter the palace with the horror on her face. In that moment, he felt something he hadn't felt in some time. Peace.

She looked so much like the woman he loved, her intelligence beaming through her eyes, her good heart radiating toward him and as their eyes met, to be honest, he wasn't sure he could describe the emotion he felt.

Dropping his eyes to the Confessor beside him, he smiled. He couldn't imagine where he would be if he hadn't come after her and the thought of losing what he had made his skin crawl. She would find out what he wrote someday and if it was with his protest, it would make it all much worse. With a heavy sigh, he replayed the Mord'Sith's words and came to a rough decision.

She didn't move as he lifted her in his arms, but he didn't panic. The walk to their bedroom was smooth, a surprise considering how many people they passed. The sight o him carrying her should have raised attention, but no one seemed to be aware anything was different.

When she fell asleep, he was beside her, but as she opened her eyes, he was gone. Sitting up, she looked and around the room, hoping to see him, but she was alone. There was a stack of papers next to her on the bed and with a single glance, she knew exactly what they were. She grabbed them with out hesitation, instantly curious to read his thoughts, but paused as she noticed the details. They had been crumbled and cut, words scratched out and a few, written largely. He hadn't exaggerated the emotions he had and now that they were held in her hand, she wasn't sure she should read them. At least, not all of them.

 _'I'm angry._

 _You've taken someone else. Right now I can imagine him above you, within you and I want to tear him apart. I want to tear you apart. YOU were mine first, Kahlan. MINE! You shared my bed before you invited him in. You took him because you wanted to hurt me and how DARE you. After everything we've done, you allow another man between your legs! You carry his child. HIS CHILD KAHLAN.'_

Before she could stop herself, she started another, holding her right hand against her lips as she read each word slowly. It was calmer, but he didn't need the full anger to hurt her with these words. Pieces of each letter stood out, whispering in her ear in a painful tone.

 _You're probably in bed with him right now. Why wouldn't you be? He's given you everything, but so have I. It's me you should be with. I am the man you should have loved, me. You are a fool for choosing him. You've done what your mother did to you. He will never love that child, Kahlan and it is because of you. The life you wanted so badly is yours, a desperate night in your bed saw to it and now, it's all you have. She will never forgive you for this. I will never forgive you._

She continued to read as tears snuck down her cheeks, at last understanding what he had gone through.

 _'How could you send that painting? I am not part of your family, Kahlan. You made sure of that. He should be there, kneeling before your feet, giving the full picture. If you wanted to hurt me, you've succeeded far more.'_

 _'I want to hate you so badly. This would be easier. You write me and I rush to the door, needing your words, but I'm so angry. I can still feel you close and taste your kiss, it's maddening. I want to be free of you. Tonight, I will be.'_

 _'I laid with her. I don't even know her name. It doesn't matter. Even in my desire to lose you, I need your body to respond. I watched her beneath me in your body, hearing sounds I can never hear from you. In my act to be free, I'm bound in tighter. Why have you claimed me this way?'_

 _'Is he what you desired, can you lose yourself in him? When he fills you are you blissfully free?'_

 _'It pains me to know that you're happy with him.'_

 _'The night we spent together... I was going to beg you to marry me, to chose me, but you never cared about me enough to do that, did you?'_

 _'I meant nothing to you, did I? I wanted to be yours alone, forever. You- You're never going to see this, but it makes me feel better to write it down. It might be because I know you won't read them. I'm grateful you aren't here to see me this way. The change is not something I am proud of.'_

Dropping the stack of papers, Kahlan closed her eyes and leaned her back against the bed's headboard. Her mind was racing as fast as her heart, trying to either forget what she had read or piece it together. She understood why he kept the letters, they were where he had found his own mind and the feelings within. She wasn't upset at what he had wrote, it made too much sense. Taking Tony had done what she thought she wanted and he endured the pain because of her.

She imagined what the woman looked like, the one he shared his bed with. She would have been attractive, he could have nothing less and a part of her wondered if the other woman was more than herself. He used magic to make her appear to be someone else, but that didn't mean that she was faulted in looks before. Her mind drifted to imagining how they had been, the positions they shared and if it was possible he enjoyed someone else's company more.

Looking up, she brought her eyes to the window and sighed, the sun had set and from the darkness, she knew it to be late. He hadn't returned and she knew that he wouldn't. He had left her alone with his sacred thoughts, the words he never hoped to share with her and just to be sure she had enough time to process it, he would wait for her to find him.

The problem she now faced wasn't where he would be, but if she could bring herself to go. She felt betrayed, lost and unsure, all of which she had thought she put behind her the instant she found him sitting beside her in the forest. He loved her, a fact he showed more times than she could count, but everything he said to her was now replaying in her mind, questioning even the smallest word. If he cared about her, why did he keep it all a secret? Why didn't he tell her about the other woman, about the night they shared and the plans he had wanted for them? Shaking her head, she sighed, realizing that she was the reason he kept quiet.

He wasn't in Emma's room as she hoped, but the young girl made sure to receive a story from her mother before agreeing to go back to sleep. It took half an hour to get through one she knew hadn't been told.

When the small Confessor was asleep, Kahlan hurried from the room, knowing that there was only a one more place he could be.

The door wasn't locked and she didn't know why she expected it to be. Her handmaidens had taken care of the room, having quickly realized it was the couple's second room. They spent a lot of time in the guest room, finding it impossible to keep away long enough to reach their own. Her heart was racing as she entered the room, each beat seeming to make a piece of the room stand out to her. Thump, open window, the wind blowing past the thin curtains. Thump, rocking chair swaying in the breeze. Thump, his boots, clearly kicked from his feet and onto the floor. Thump, thump, thump. Her eyes see upon his face, his eyes closed in sleep, a frown on his lips.

He slept in a familiar position, one that she couldn't help but smile at. When he was alone in their bed, he was always found the same way. He'd lay on his back, his right leg covered and his left arm beneath the pillow under his head. She had teased him about it once, telling him it reminded her of a small child stuck in pattern, and it did. Their daughter had the same arrangement in her own bed, another piece of him she had been able to hold while they were apart.

She hesitated to crawl onto the bed, her mind spinning in a different direction every minute. If she laid at his side, it would mean that she forgave him, but she didn't have the right. She knew his pain had been brought on by herself and though there were things in the letters she wished him to explain, she couldn't help but see what was before her. It probably made no sense, she told herself with a half smile. Everything she thought of came back to what she knew to be true. He loved her and he was here.

Laying down beside him, she turned slightly, just enough to allow her a better view of his face, but not enough to roll completely and poke the swell of her belly into him. He jumped as her warmth flooded him, his head snapping in her direction.

Richard opened his mouth to say something, anything, in the hopes of understanding how she could have come to him, but nothing came out. Before he could grasp the thought, she kissed him and then all interest of talk was drowned. He was above her within seconds, trying to get closer without causing any discomfort to the unborn child between them. His hands moved down her sides slowly, making her, for a moment, think he was trying to see if his memory of her was correct. When his palms grazed her stomach, he pulled back for a breath and moved to sit beside her. She kept still, watching as he rubbed his hands over his face and sighed heavily.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be," she told him with a grin. "I'm the one who kissed you."

"Not for the kiss, Kahlan... I- Did you read them all?"

She nodded at first, unable to make the words leave her mouth. "Thoroughly." Shifting her body, she went back to angle herself toward him. "You didn't have to let me read them, Richard."

"I know," he whispered as his eyes found hers. "You're probably the only woman in existence who wouldn't demand to." She didn't move, a good sign considering she remained close. "Why aren't you screaming at me?"

"I don't scream," she stated with a smile. "Richard, I'm not upset with you."

"But you read the letters..."

Nodding, she tried to sit forward, difficult in the position she held, her stomach keeping her down. Richard laid down at once, making sure she could remain. "I did, but nowhere in them did I find a reason to be angry with you. I may not understand some of them, but it is not my place to. Richard, how could I be angry that felt the way that you did when it was my fault that you did? After everything we went though and what we did, I- I may have felt pained in reading a few of them, but it couldn't have come close to how you felt writing it."

He started to look away, but stopped as he realized what he was going to say next. It wasn't something he should say without giving her a chance to see the truth. "I was with another woman."

"Physically," she whispered, "but not in your heart." Taking in a breath, she closed her eyes. "Lying with someone doesn't mean that you love them."

"Kahlan-"

"You told me your secrets, it's time you heard one of mine... I chose Tony, not because he was so different than you, but because he could give me no children. I never wanted a child to come from something like that and when I read your- You said that I had done the same as my mother and I... I laid with him and I did not love him, I could not receive a child from that."

"Because you were with Tony, we are even?" he asked in confusion.

"I- I don't know how to make you understand. I do not mean to say that we are free of what we- We did what we had to, at least, what we thought we did. We will never be even, not in that."

"I'm sorry, Kahlan."

Touching her hand to his cheek, she half smiled. "Don't be."

"I wrote- How can you be alright with what you read?"

"Because I know you. Everything you said, it was true and you had every right to- There is only one thing and I know that I have no right to ask, but-"

"You can ask me anything, Kahlan."

"The painting... The one of Emma and I, did it- I didn't send that to hurt you."

Richard closed his eyes and turned his head to the ceiling. "I know, but when I saw it... It wasn't anger I felt, it was... I couldn't stop looking at it, you and her... Everything I wanted was in a picture in my hands, everything I believed to be someone else's." Looking back to her, he blinked slowly. "It was beautiful and you both looked so happy. All I could think of was- I was never going to be a part of that family."

Her eyes were wet, holding his as she tried to find the right words to say. "When I sent it to you... I was so proud of her, she- She was so much I like you and it felt like the only way I could share it with you."

"When the anger faded, I... I love that painting, Kahlan."

"I know," she whispered. "You carry it with you in the pocket of your shirt." Richard nodded, his mind still trying to understand the woman before him. "I've been thinking," she added with a smile, "maybe it's time to have another one made." She watched a series of emotions cross his face, waiting for one to settle. Before he could say anything, she brought her hands to her stomach and sighed as though it changed her mind. "Maybe we should wait a short while longer..."

He chuckled, unable to stop himself as he laid his left hand over hers. "You're beautiful, Kahlan. Maybe you should show the world-"

"No."

Her eyes were closed now when he looked to her face, but he didn't need to see them to know what she was thinking. This wasn't the first time she thought herself to be unattractive and it wouldn't be the last, not when they had plans to grow their family.

"Take off your dress," he instructed in a way that caused her eyes to open and widen.

"Excuse me?"

"Your dress, Confessor, remove it." They had played a game like this before, many months back, but he wasn't entirely sure she would allow it to go on this time. "If you don't, I'll have to- Alright," he told her as he sat up and took hold of the white strings of her dress. She held his eyes with an expression he couldn't make out. It was hot with desire, anger and confusion, which one would win, he would only hope.

Her eyes closed after her dress began to open almost afraid to see the disappointment on his face. Richard pushed his hands inside the fabric, gently massaging his fingers into her skin as they traveled. Kahlan remained still, her muscles tightening as his hands came over the swell of her stomach. She could hear his breathing quicken with his movements, but she couldn't find the strength to look at him.

He whispered how beautiful she was before his lips came to her stomach, kissing over the swell. Her back lifted as his hands slipped beneath, holding her to him. Kahlan found her fingers winding into his hair, thrilled with the sensations he sent through her body. He didn't move hesitantly, his tongue gliding over her skin as he had done so many times before when they were lost in each other. There was no way to explain how she appeared to him, the beauty that couldn't be hidden and the way he felt seeing her pregnant. His body ached with want and need at the sight of her, something she couldn't understand.

Sliding his hands around her, he reached for her breasts, drawing out a long moan that vibrated his touch. He was gone suddenly and her eyes opened, searching for him.

"Are you alright?" she asked in a panicked tone as she attempted to sit forward.

"I'm fine," he whispered in return. "Kahlan, I-" Meeting her eyes, he helped her up, giving himself an extra moment to think. "I don't know how you can allow me to do that."

"You're good at it," she teased without thought. "Richard, I'm not upset with you for laying with another woman, I promise."

"Why?" He hadn't meant to ask, but it was all he wanted to know.

"Because I know it's not she that you love." With a warm smile, she leaned toward him, her eyes searching the area as though she wanted to make sure no one heard her next set of words. "And there's that one thing you do that drives me mad-"

"What?" he asked before he could stop himself.

Her hand slid over his chest as she whispered in his ear, her mouth grazing the skin as she spoke. Richard remained still, even as her tongue snaked out and tasted the flesh, any movement and he would have her beneath him once more. She seemed to hear his thoughts, bringing her left hand to his hair to stroke as she began kissing down his neck. His body ached, close to the end and long before they begun.

"If you keep doing that-"

"You'll have to have your way with me," she completed his sentence in a seductive whisper.

It took all of his strength to hold back the words in his mind, the request he had lingering on his tongue. She would never release her magic, not with him so close, no matter how much he wanted to be hers alone. "Kahlan..."

"Hmm?"

Her lips were still traveling his skin, sneaking their way across his jaw, making it difficult for him to think. "Are you sure this is alright?"

Kahlan pulled back at once and met his eyes with a sad smile. "I'm sure." Her mind flashed back to the night he had held her down in the forest and she knew it was part of where his remained. "I trust you," she added after a moment.

"Maybe you shouldn't..."

"Because you were with another woman or because you once tried to rape me?" The words fled her lips without hesitation or pause, her eyes holding his as though it wasn't a sensitive subject, but it was.

"Both," he replied breathlessly and with tears in his eyes. He had thought about what he did more times than he could count, but even with her knowledge and claim to forgive him, it was too painful to let go. "I can't- I don't want to hurt you anymore."

"Help me please," she whispered as she pulled on his arm, trying to move closer to him. He did as she asked and held her while she moved, helping her as she settled on his lap. "Don't close your eyes," she said, taking hold of his face gently. "Richard, I-"

"You couldn't have forgiven me, Kahlan. Not after what I did, that night I- "

"You tried to share me with Tony. Yes, I remember... Very well." Her thumbs wiped across his cheeks, removing the fresh tears. "I remember that night, I even dream about it."

Richard grabbed her shoulders and leaned forward. "I never- If I could go back and change what I did, I would. Kahlan, I never should have-"

"No you shouldn't have," she agreed. "But it wasn't you, not entirely." With an unsure smile, she dropped her hands to rest on his chest. "You would never share me." She could feel his body, fully ready for her and waited for the moment he could wait no more, but it didn't come. "The point of that night that matters to me is- Richard, you stopped. You took another woman, yes, but not to hurt me. I'm not alright with what happened, it's not something that I love knowing, thinking- I know you never intended to wound me and that, that is... Richard, I forgive you."

"How?"

"Because I love you and- That night, I knew it wasn't you, not the real you and, look-"

"It's not safe."

"It's the only way you'll understand. Let me show you the night how I saw it."

He was suddenly inside her mind, seeing through her eyes as he held her down to the ground.

"Is this how he took you?" he growled in her face. "No?" he questioned as she remained silent, her words unable to flow even if she wanted them to. The only sound that left he was a gasp of relief as he removed his hand and began unlacing his pants. "How-"

*Tell him the truth, her mind screamed. Tell him why you took Tony, he will not be angry. He loves you.*

"Mistress!" Tony shrieked as he came into view.

He started to run toward them, but stopped as Kahlan turned her head just enough to shift her body for a breath. "No!" The big man froze in confusion, unsure as to what was happening when his eyes now saw what made her feel the way she did. He could feel her pain, excitement and fear, but he couldn't understand why she didn't want him to help her.

"What's the matter?" Richard asked her angrily. "He can join us. I'm sure you would enjoy-"

*If you tell him this will stop. It will stop now if you tell him the child is his. He loves you.*

"Go back to the others, Tony! Go back and do not speak of this!"

"No! Come here! You want to please your mistress don't you?" Tony stood still as Richard looked up. "The pleasures we can give her-"

*He won't share you, her mind said without pause. He will stop, he loves you. Don't fight it, he will not hurt you.*

"Tony, go now!"

Something in her voice held Richard's attention, part of him seeming to realize what was happening. She wasn't screaming at him or begging him to stop, though he doubted that it would have made a difference. She laid beneath him and the tears in her eyes were the only thing to give away the truth of her emotions. He didn't see when the other man left, but he knew they were alone and the sword hissed its anger. His mind spun with so many images, he wasn't sure which was taking place. He wanted her to say something, to speak the one thing he knew she would never say.

*Tell him it was done because you love him. Everything you did was to protect him. If he knew the child was his, he would never leave your side and it would kill him. If this saves his life, he can do anything he wants to you.*

Her heart was pounding, hitting her chest and thumping against his as he continued to lay close. The pulse vein in her neck jerked along, giving yet another piece of proof for him to witness. She remained silent, watching him with an expression that told him that she knew what he was thinking, she could see the thoughts. Her eyes closed the moment he made a decision, fearing the worst.

Richard rolled off of her and onto his back at her side, screaming in agony while his body demanded he return to her warmth.

*You know he loves you. He stopped. He loves you.*

His eyes found a way to focus back on hers, the memory fading away inbto darkness as though it was a simple thought and meant no more to her than the rocks that trailed the path through the garden. She looked at him without pain and it soaked into him. The night he claimed to be the worst he had ever known was, to his surprise and confusion, something she had put behind her. Proving herself to be a better woman than all others, she had never thought him to be a bad man, to have been angry with his mistake, even as he riped the clothes from her dress and offered o share her with another man. Even in those moments, she could see his continued love for her, believing in him to know that he would stop and endureing his torture to keep him safe. In the time he was the weakest, she saw strength and continued to love him.

Before words could be formed, he kissed her, unable to let a moment pass without it. Now he understood how she felt, how she could look at him the way that she did and without any fear. There was no one she trusted more, not because she loved him, not entirely, but because she saw things in a completely different way. The woman, half naked, before him was more incredible than he could describe.

"I'm sorry, Kahlan."

"I know and I forgive that man. The one you set loose that night, I forgive him. His intention wasn't to hurt me, it was to claim me." She smiled, surprising him with its wideness. "He didn't have to work so hard, though... I was already his."

"You're mine?"

"Yours," she answered without pause. "I am not to be shared."

He smiled, his hands sneaking inside her dress to caress her sides. "Never." Leaning into his touch, she let out a long moan, always losing herself beneath his fingertips. "I will never share you."

Words failed to leave her lips as she dropped her hands between them and began untying his pants. His mouth was so close to hers, it took all of her strength not to claim it, demand it. She knew his mind was reeling, working to make sense of everything within and if she moved too fast, he would stop her.

Richard let his lips graze hers, a quick kiss that ended before she had a chance to return. He teased her for a few moments, she knew, to keep himself from throwing her beneath him. He would never take her roughly again. For months, she had been able to tell herself that it wanted to protect the child beneath him and he did, but she knew the image in held of her in his mind of that night, crying beneath him was lingering as well. He waited for her signal to continue, to do more than caress her lips, something he was more than grateful to do. She pushed him forward as her fingers wrapped around him, pulling gently in a way only she could. His head pulled back with a moan, his own hand coming to hers to warn her not to continue. When it came to her, his body rarely responded in any other way than the desire for instant release.

Locking eyes, she grabbed her dress and pulled it from her body, for the first time in weeks, exposing herself completely to him without fear of his disappointment. The look in his eyes being more than she could stand. Moving quickly, she nearly threw herself against him, reconnecting their lips in a fury that took over all senses. Their kiss didn't last long as he moved her to lay back on the bed.

Richard pulled back, sucking in a breath of air as he ran his hands up her sides and over her breasts. His hands came to the swell of her stomach, just as his lips came to her chest, appreciating the beauty before him. Her fingers wound into his hair while her back lifted to bring her closer to the warmth of his mouth. It was slow, his every move held in place until she desperately needed more. She was more sensitive, something he loved and cursed when a single move had her clutching the sheets beneath them.

Her magic was on the edge, her body shook in passion, ready to let to, seeking freedom in the man above. He held firm as her soft whisper of his name, a warning, left her lips. The magic's release being what he sought.

"Let it go," he breathed heavily as he brought his face to hers. "Take me."

She knew why he asked what he did, though it wasn't the first time he had. He wanted to be hers, completely hers and never fear hurting her again.

"I've already taken you," she managed to reply through a heated breath. "You're mine and I'm yours."

Nudging his nose against her chin, he closed his eyes to plea to her. "Please, Kahlan..."

"I can't. Confessing you would be more painful than anything I've already endured."

Tightening his arms around her, he smiled sadly. "I'm sorry, Kahlan."

"Stop doing things you have to apologize for."

"I can't... I'm destined to hurt you."

"No you're not. Richard... I know you and I know that you don't want- It's not your intention to hurt me."

"No, but it doesn't stop me from doing it."

Stroking her fingers through his hair, Kahlan smiled. "And it doesn't stop me from loving you." Leaning forward, she kissed him slowly. "I can't confess you, Richard."

"No..."

Shaking her head, she inched closer. "I don't need to run my magic through you to know you love me."

His hands snaked down her sides, his body fighting the urge to take her at once. "I can't prove that to you."

"No? I'm afraid I can't agree." Her body bucked against his as her arm wrapped around his neck to draw him in closer. "You being here... Partly naked... It proves more than you know."

"I love you," he managed to whisper just as she snaked her hand between them.

"I know."

She was still in his arms when he awoke and completely naked for the first time in weeks. Her back was against his chest, his left arm draped over her side and held against her chest with her own arms. Instead of moving away as he usually did, he pushed his nose back into her hair until his face came to the back of her neck. Taking in a deep breath, Richard inched closer and did his best not to wake her. From the soft sunlight that came through the windows, he knew they hadn't been asleep very long, the sun having only been threatening to rise as they rolled from each other for the last time of the night. Her heart was pounding steadily against his arm, closely matching his, a surprise considering how strong the last release of her magic had been.

They had held nothing back, both clinging to the other in a passionate roll of kisses, thrusts and scratches. She filled the air with his name, gracefully flowing from her lips as she encouraged him to continue. Her body had accepted everything he gave, multiplying it by a number he couldn't guess to reach the height she held onto.

His body fought the urge to rock forward, desire continuing to flow without hesitation. He knew there was no way to describe the way she made him feel, the heat her body brought his, but when they spent the night in each others arms, he wanted to believe she felt it the same way he did.

He suddenly fought himself, his mind returning to wondering how she could allow him to be near her. She shouldn't have been able to forgive the things he did, certainly never want to, but she did and she had. She made it clear, many times, the night before that she had moved past the horrific night, making him want to as well.

Keeping his nose in her hair, he closed his eyes. "I'm sorry, Kahlan."

"Mmm, are you alright?" she asked sleepily, turning her head slightly toward him.

"I'm fine, I didn't mean to wake you."

She smiled as she rolled onto her back, holding his hand to her. "Mmm, I'm know, what's wrong?"

"I was thinking."

"About what?"

"Your forgiveness." The smile fell from her lips, sleep fading as she held his eyes. "I will never understand, not completely."

Kahlan blinked, her hand sliding over his arm. "I don't know what I can do to help you. I know that the man I saw that night, the one who attacked me, it was not you. He was not you, Richard."

"I was there..."

Pushing her hand against his chest, she pushed until she was able to lay on her side and face him completely. "You were," she agreed. "And because you were there, I was safe. I forgave everything that happened that night, but do no mistake that for a single thought that tells you I would allow it to happen again. You are looking at me as though it was something I did lightly, but it was not. Richard, I know that it replays in your mind, the same as it does mine and we cannot undo the past, we cannot change mistakes, but we can choose to see through it. That night was painful for both of us and it will never truly leave our mind, but we both know it will not happen again. As long as we live, we will have that night preying on us both, but we can't- I will not let it win. I know the man you are, he's stronger than anyone I've ever known and he loves me."

"I'm afraid you're going to wake up one night in thought of what I did and I will lose you."

"You cannot lose me, Richard. I'm yours, remember?" She gave him a small smile as her hands moved over his chest. "I think of that night, but not as often as I do our many others." Grinning, she pushed herself forward in seduction. "If you feel that man returning, warn me, I don't want to sidle up-"

"Spirits," he panted as her voice lowered to match her movements. Richard grabbed her hands and pulled them between them, holding them still as he inched his hips away from hers. He needed to think, to speak before he was consumed in passion once again. "Kahlan... Do you remember the promise you asked me to make you?"

"Of course," she whispered painfully.

"I need you to make a similar one. Kahlan, if that man, if I turn into him again, do not lay beneath me. Kah- If it happens again, you have to do more than stop me. I can't hurt you again and if you believe, for any reason, that I'm going to hurt you or - Anyone in anyway, please stop me and if I return, do not allow me to stay."

"Richard, no-"

"I need you to promise, Kahlan. I can't keep-"

"You have control now. You aren't going to hurt anyone, especially me. Richard, please... I cannot promise what you want me to. No matter what happened, I could not send you away, I- Our children, us... It will not be something I can do."

"Yes it will," he said softly, releasing her hands. She grabbed his face at once and pulled it close, swallowing the lump he felt in his own throat. "You will send me away, you- Our children will be a strong part of that decision. They cannot know me that way."

She remained still, her lips parted to bring her air as she wondered if this was how he felt when she had asked him to make a promise. It was painful and not only because of the look in his eyes, but because he was right. She would send him away to protect their children and their view of him, the world's view of him. The only thing that kept her from speaking was the imagination of her mind as she thought about losing him. Her world would end with his absence, but it wasn't something she could say. He had promised her, though she knew he didn't want to, leaving her to do one thing.

"Alright," she whispered. "I promise." Rolling onto her back, she brought her hands to her stomach and closed her eyes, hoping the young baby would give her a distraction. Dark silence filled the room around her and before she could stop herself, she was struggling to sit forward.

"Kahlan, don't," he said softly as he took hold of her left arm. "You shouldn't get up, you haven't slept-"

"There will be plenty of time for sleep. We have an early meeting with the council and if we are to stop this war, it is important that we are there."

"Kahlan-"

She turned her head toward him, meeting his worried eyes at once. "If we finish early enough, I will return to bed after our lunch with Emma."

He almost asked her to promise, but the words wouldn't leave his lips, not after what he had just asked her to do. "Will you allow me to join you?"

Kahlan smiled widely with a tilt of her head. "I hadn't planned on giving you an option." His body jumped at once in need, but she was suddenly gone.

She was standing beside the bed with her arms crossed over her chest, her small attempt to hide herself from his eyes as she tried to find the dress that needed repairing from their night of passion. He stared at her, the beauty radiating off of her and stealing his breath.

"You're beautiful," he mused, capturing her attention.

"I'm fat," she replied, watching his face carefully.

He grinned, shaking his head as he came to his knees and inched to the edge of the bed. Pulling her arms to her sides, he took in a slow breath as he studied her belly. "You've spoken with Cara too much. You are breathtaking, Kahlan..."

"You and I have a different definition of the word."

"And yours is wrong," he replied with a smile. "I don't know how you don't see it."

She fought his hold on her arms, trying to shield herself once more. "Richard-"

"I'm sorry," he whispered as he released her arms at once, fearing the moment he hurt her. "I didn't intend to make you uncomfortable."

Bringing her hands to his face, she stepped forward and held his eyes. "I know, it's alright. I may not understand how you can look at me like that, but it doesn't mean that I don't like it just a little bit."

He chuckled, his arms circling her waist. "Just a little bit?"

"Maybe a little more. I don't know, it seems nothing has changed in your eyes."

"It hasn't," he told her without pause. "I can't take my eyes off of you."

"We're going to be late to the meeting, aren't we?"

Lifting his eyebrows, Richard smiled slyly. "Spirits, I hope so."


	11. Chapter 11

"They have made it clear, peace is not an option. If it is a war they wish, it is a war we will bring them and they will wish they had taken heed to our warning." Kahlan was breathing heavily, doing her best not to rip the paper in he hands, the letter their new enemy had sent in response to the attack on the Amnell-Rahl family. She could almost feel the spit on her face as she read each line and if Richard had not been standing at her side, she was fairly certain she would have exploded. "How dare they go against us! After everything we have provided, the aid we have sent! If they believe they are a better to rule this land, we shall take theirs from their cold grasps!"

The message had been made clear, the kidnapping of the young Confessor having been only a small part. The threat was high and covered the entire family, none being safe until it was taken care of. The Seeker remained calm, though his sword sat on his hip, whispering things he could do to the men who would come. They was comforting thoughts, helping with the sight of the Mother Confessor's anger.

"We will cut the heads off their men and drop them in their fields! If they come near our family, we will-" She stopped mid sentence, scaring the room with her silence, even more so the man closest, who watched her eyes go dark.

Richard caught her just as she started to fall, her body limp in his arms, but her heat pumping strong. Kristy was giving her mother another vision and he prayed that it would aid them.

"Take the Mother Confessor to her chambers, we will reconvene when she is at her strength. This must be resolved within the week," the Head of the Council spoke to the room. "I fear this will only become worse as the days past. Their men are already spotted in the outer parts of the city. If we cannot protect our people..."

"I will take Cara and a few men out at dusk, they will be found and held accountable." He lifted the brunette into his arms, watching her face to make sure she was alright as he began to carry her from the room. "Fine the Mord'Sith and send her to our room, we will leave once Kahlan is safe."

"You can see what she sees," Cara piped in as she leaned against the wall.

Richard was leaning over the Mother Confessor, making sure she was covered and kept warm. When she connected in visions with their daughter she seemed to grow cold, her fingers turning to ice.

"It's dangerous. If I- It takes so much out of her, if I jumped into her mind, I could cause more harm." Pulling back, he looked over to his friend and sighed. "It is tempting, but it can wait. Anything she sees, she will tell us."

"It could change everything we do out there."

Shaking his head, Richard reached to the hilt of his sword and let the anger seep into him slowly. "I will kill them for what they've done, for attacking my family. I wi not sit by when we have offered peace and they continue to move against us. I will keep them safe," he added as he closed his eyes. There were times when he would allow the magic within to combine with the sword, fueling it until he could see darkness and then retreated with complete control. "My family; our people will have no reason to fear. We will protect them."

With a single nod, the blonde straightened her back. "Yes, Lord Rahl."

"If we had killed him, there wouldn't be a problem," Cara stated as she followed Richard through the halls of the Confessor's Palace. "He's obviously lying, if anything had happened to her, someone would know. He is using your blind love for her-"

"He may be," he agreed, surprising the blonde. "It could very well be a trap, but if I did nothing and she - If I lost her because I dismissed it, I would... You know what could happen to me. Those men, each one knew the changes they stood to remain alive and if this last man has told me an ounce of truth, he will be taken care of. Kahlan can use him, the information we could gain could change everything." Coming to a stop at their bedroom door, Richard swallowed. "If anything has happened to her, you will kill that man and you will make it painful." Cara nodded, almost eagerly as she watched him enter the room.

Kahlan jumped as they entered, startled by the rapid movement. Pulling a cloth from her bloody nose, she turned and rushed to meet them in the center of the room.

"What's wrong?" She could see the panic on their faces, instantly making her fear the worst.

Shaking his head, he grabbed her right arm and pulled her close, his left coming to the side of her face to tilt her head. "What happened?" He scanned the room quickly in search of danger, but saw nothing.

"I don't know. I think the strength of Kristy's magic was stronger for a few minutes, it's alright now."

Taking the cloth from her hands, Richard sighed in relief. His mind had spun in so many directions he wasn't sure it would return to him. "Here, tilt your head up- Stop it," he said as she begun to chuckle at the expression on his face. "Mother Confessor, do you want my help or not?"

Had their blonde friend not been in the room, Kahlan would have demanded he remove their clothes to be sure it wasn't stained with blood, but she settled for a gentle smile. "Of course, thank you."

He studied her face as he brushed the cloth beneath her nose, ridding her upper lip from the fresh blood that had collected during their quick conversation. "Has anyone come to you?"

"Of course," she replied at once. "People come to me-"

"No, I don't mean the people... Has anyone tried to harm you?"

She seemed to think for a moment and he knew she was trying to debate with herself on telling him something. "There was one man, he arrived this morning, I do not know what he wished to do, but Kristy- She warned me not to meet with him. The guards have him in the guest hall with many others I have yet to see. I- After her warning, I wasn't feeling strong enough to help them. I was going to go back to them once the bleeding stopped."

"It might be a few minutes," he told her as he pulled back the now completely stained cloth to look at her nose. "It's bleeding heavily."

"It's nothing I can't handle."

"I know, but-"

"You still worry?" she questioned with a smile. "I know, but I promise, I'm alright."

"You should lie down, I-"

"You won't be joining me," she inferred as she turned and instantly walked to the bed. "What did you find in the outer cities?"

"Kahlan-"

"Richard brought one of the men back, he claimed to know information on the attacks on you." Cara was now standing beside him, pulling the cloth from his hands and tossing it to Kahlan to save some time. "He thinks if you confess him, you will have all the answers to save the world." Looking to her friend, she blinked. "Have I forgotten anything?"

"That's not-"

"She can soap up her nose and we could be done before dinner."

"Cara, no- Kahlan?"

Shaking her head, Cara crossed her arms. "You've put her to sleep, now we will never-"

"Go find the man she spoke of, it shouldn't be hard for you."

She was about to ask him what he would be doing when he began crawling onto the bed, answering her unspoken question. The Mord'Sith left without a word, closing the door behind her to give them some time alone.

Richard couldn't help the smile that held his lips as he laid down at her side. As the weeks passed and her stomach grew larger, he found her beauty to be more than breathtaking. The excitement was overwhelming and in the moments when they were able to pay down and just be, they were his favorites. He laid his hand on the swell of her belly, feeling the soft thump he loved so much, one he wished he had felt with Emma.

Before they had gone their separate ways, he used to watch her in the middle of the night. She would lay on her back, eyes closed and her hands slowly moving over her stomach. At the time, the way she would smile angered him, but now he understood. It was impossible not to feel joy at the movement, it was too beautiful. There were a few nights where Emma would crawl into her with them and lay her head on her mother's stomach, talking to her sister until she moved in response. This was the life and family he had always wanted.

"If there is a way to stop this war, I need your help to do it, Kristy. If there is anything I can do... I'm afraid of what this war will do to us, to me. If something happened to you, Emma or your mother, I don't think I could survive and I know that seems selfish, but it's the people I'm worried about. I'm certain you know of the darkness within me and I cannot set it free again. I know I have no right to ask this of you, you are not even born, but I'm afraid it is my only option to keep my family safe."

"She hasn't shown anything on the war in days," Kahlan whispered as she moved his hand to the side of her stomach just in time to feel a hard thump. "She's acknowledging you, do you feel that?"

He grinned, unable to do anything else even though he was receiving no answer. "She's active."

"Mmm, she likes it when you talk to her." She had yet to open her eyes, but she didn't need to see his face to see the grin. "Maybe you should tell her a story."

"What do you think she'd want to hear?"

With a soft chuckle, Kahlan looked over to him. "Anything you have to tell, she will enjoy."

"I'm not sure I can think of anything..." he whispered as he moved closer. Snaking his hand around her stomach, he pushed himself against her and began kissing the side of her neck.

Kahlan let out a soft moan that quickly turned into a small groan as she brought both of her hands to her stomach. "I don't think she likes it when we try to devour each other."

It wasn't the first time Kristy had put in a few extra hard kicks when her parents were in the middle of something like this. It was beginning to happen more frequently and Richard couldn't help but wonder if she sometimes sensed how uncomfortable her mother was.

"How does she think she was created?"

"Didn't you hear?" the Mother Confessor questioned with a grin. "There's a wizard roaming the cities, creating children for poor; unfortunate families."

Richard continued to kiss her, moving from her neck to her chest, just enough to cause her breath to double. "We should thank him."

Winding her fingers in his hair, she pushed against his mouth with a soft moan. "I plan to."

"Kahlan?" The Mother Confessor turned to her friend's voice, surprised to have her standing a few feet from her. "Richard has him in the dungeons, he's not being cooperative."

"He would give you answers."

"He's not going to let me beat them out of him."

Moving closer to the blonde, Kahlan frowned. "He will. He can't without losing control, but you... You can get the information." Giving her a brief smile, she held her hands over her stomach. "I'll speak with him, you will be in the cells before dinner."

"We don't know what the man will say," Cara said surprisingly soft. "Whatever I get him to reveal, it could be worse than he has imagined. If we get answers, the war will begin the moment the words leave his lips."

"Richard will not blindly rush into battle, not now, not when I am weeks away from giving birth. Cara, we- He will wait and plan this through."

"If he doesn't, we are all going to be dead before he leaves the city."

"He won't- It's not going to end that way."

"You had better be right."

"I am."

"You're not eating, daddy." Emma poked her fork into his potatoes, smoothing a hole that she quickly filled with the green vegetables that were once on her plate. "Are you alright?"

"I don't know," he replied honestly. It was something she could count on, no matter what she asked, he would tell her the truth. "I can't stop thinking."

"Mommy said she was fine, Kristy doesn't want to come out yet."

Richard couldn't help but smile at her words. They had come from their bedroom, making sure Kahlan was alright after a few sharp pains that came over her. Emma had grown excited, anticipating the arrival of her sister and she hadn't stopped questioning it since. "I think Kristy knows how safe she is right now."

"She'd be safe out here, too. We are. Can I eat cake instead?"

"Cake is for after your dinner," he told her with a smile. "Once you finish what's on your plate and these here on mine, you can have some cake."

"The green things taste funny. I don't like them."

With a soft chuckle, he leaned back in his chair. "Neither do I."

"Then why do you eat them?"

"Because they will keep me strong," he said as he shoved one into his mouth.

"Do they taste any better?"

"Sometimes. I think they're growing on me."

With a soft sigh, Emma reached back to his plate and pulled a single green leaf from his plate and slowly brought it to her mouth. "Alright, but if it kills me, I'm going to tell mommy."

Richard watched her carefully as she shoved the food into her mouth and chewed rapidly with her eyes closed. When she finished and swill owed, he began to laugh as she gasped for a breath and reached for her cup of water.

"You're still alive!"

Scrunching her face, she looked at him. "Barely."

"It's not that had, Emma. See?" He piled his own vegetables onto his fork and brought it to his mouth, chewing slowly to make his point. "It's not cake, but it's not dirt."

"Dirt would taste better," the young girl whispered. "Daddy, may I ask you a question?"

His mind spun at once, wondering what she was going to say. Her tone told him it was important and the way she asked permission made it clear. "You can ask me anything, always."

Turning her body to face his completely, she blinked slowly until she took in a few breaths. "When Kristy is born... What if you like her more?"

Richard smiled, pulling her into his lap for a side hug. "That isn't possible. Emma, we are a family and there is no match for the love we have for each other. When another enters, our love doesn't fade from one to the other, it grows bigger."

"Like the fire when you put in more wood?"

"Exactly. Your mother and I will not love Kristy more than you."

Grinning, the small brunette hugged him. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," he whispered before kissing her cheek. "This doesn't mean you don't have to eat the green things, Emma."

"I know, but it didn't hurt to hope."

"It never hurts to hope."

"I don't like the smooshy ones."

Grinning, he picked up a few with her fork and handed it to her. "Swallow quickly, it helps."

"I don't think anything will help." Eating the food as quickly as possible, Emma shook her head and grabbed her father's cup of water to wash the taste away. "I don't know why mommy likes this."

"Maybe we will understand in time."

"I don't think so. She is the only one who enjoys them."

"I like these," he told her. Poking his own fork into a pile of long beans. "They're delicious."

Her nose scrunched instantly, even as she watched him eat. "It's not possible."

"You may change your mind, give it some time."

"Are you going to bring some to mommy?"

Nodding, Richard looked over the table of food. "Yes, but I'm not sure what to bring her."

"Cake! She likes cake!"

"But there's a beautiful pie, over there, too."

"I think she'd like the pie more, it's apple..." Her words trailed off as she looked to her father with sad sea. "Doris loves apple pie too."

"She will be back soon, I promise. She needs to go out and fly around, she's too big to be trapped in the palace all day. Maybe she has made some friends."

"But she's my friend..."

"She will always be your friend, even if she has gained others. You'll see, she will be back before you know it and you two will play just as before."

"I miss her."

"I know, but she'll return and you both can follow Cara until she goes mad." The little girl laughed, instinctively eating from the plate before making a face. "You're almost finished with them, a few more and cake awaits!"

Richard entered their bedroom, quietly carrying a tray of food for the woman he saw sitting in a rocking chair in front of one of the windows across from the bed.

"How are you feeling?"

Rubbing her hands over her belly, she smiled. "Fine, when I'm rocking. I think it comforts her."

Making his way to her, he sat the tray on the table at her side and then knelt down. "Maybe she knows it's nearly time for her to join us."

Meeting his eyes, she pulled his hand to the top of her stomach, letting him feel the hard thump. "She may be trying to fight her way out."

With a chuckle, Richard closed his eyes, focusing on the feeling and the warmth radiating off of her. "She is definitely going to be strong."

"Mmmhmm. She is a lot like you." Stretching her neck, she pulled his attention as she looked out of the window. "Has Doris returned?"

"No, Emma is starting to worry."

Kahlan sighed softly, relaxing in the chair once more. "I sent men out to look, but they haven't seen any signs of her. I thought maybe she had found a mate, but-"

"She would have returned by now," he said, finishing her sentence. "I'm worried too," he admitted. "If anything happens to her, Emma will be devastated."

"I know, and I cannot shake the thought that she was taken." She smiled for a moment as she looked at him, realizing how difficult it would be to take the large creature. "Losing her effects us all. Except Cara," she added with a chuckle.

"I thought she and Cara were going to become friends," he replied with a laugh of his own. "I think she is close to forgiving her for burning her leather."

Kahlan's laugh was loud and full, relaxing her body completely as she ran her hands over her stomach again. "I'm not sure Cara can forgive her for that, she had to wear some of my clothes for days." Licking her lips, she looked down at him, and grinned. "The leather really does fit her."

"I don't know, the green dress of yours... It looked nice on her."

"I agree, but it's not the Cara we know. I think she- She is happiest in the leather."

"Yes, she is."

"Do you think she's alright in the dungeon?"

"I do."

Taking in a deep breath, she straightened her back. "I'm afraid of what she will learn. If the war is to start soon, I- We both know what can come of it."

"Nothing is going to happen to our family, Kahlan. I will keep you all safe."

"Of that, I have no doubt," she commented with a grin. "I don't want our children to know that world. They can't be a part of that and see the darkness. Is it wrong to want to shield them from that kind of pain?"

"No," he said quickly. "You're right, but I'm not sure it's possible to keep them away from it. Emma knows it's out there, so does Kristy and she hasn't taken her first breath yet. We can't protect them from the horrors in the world, we can only hope to help them to know what to do when they meet it."

Bringing her hands to his cheeks, she leaned in close with a smile. "I can't imagine anyone being a greater father."

"A father is only as wonderful as the mother."

"Mmm, I can agree with that."

After a quick kiss, he stood and walked the few steps to the table where he had let the food. "You must be hungry." Carrying the tray of food to her, he sat down at her side and crossed his legs, using them as a table to hold it within her reach. "Emma saved you many vegetables."

"I have no doubt. She would rather eat mud than anything green."

"She did mention something like that."

"Thank you for bringing this to me."

"You're welcome," he beamed. "I brought a slice of pie as well. Emma seemed to think you would need it after eating the rabbit food."

Kahlan chuckled, swallowing a bite of lettuce with a slight cough. "Pie?"

"One of your favorites."

"Apple?" she asked with a wide smile. "It's not on the tray..."

"No," he agreed, watching her look over the tray sitting on his lap. "It's still on the table."

"Ah, saving it for after you tell me what's on your mind." Taking a slice of bread, she broke it in half and handed part of it to him. "You're not very good at hiding things, remember. You are far too good of a man to hold it in."

Richard took the soft food and pushed it into his mouth. He chewed slowly, avoiding her gaze as he tried to find the right words. "I'm angry," he admitted after a long pause. "I keep expecting you to wake up one night and know what we can do, but-"

"Me too. Every night since I first saw what she did, I... In that, I understand how you feel. I've awoken some nights to you asking her for help and I pray that she answers you, but nothing came."

"I can't protect you if I don't know what's coming."

Shaking her head, she gave h a small smile. "You are the only man who could without it. Sometimes I wonder if that's why she's keeping quiet. Maybe she's testing us or helping us to become greater... I don't know, but I'm sure she's not trying to lead us down a path we cannot come out of."

"No, but a map would be nice."

Kahlan laughed, her smile widening to reveal her perfect smile. "Yes, but there would be no adventure."

"If this war does begin-"

"We will strike hard," she interrupted with a deadly calm face. "They will not betray us again."

Cara was standing before the couple with her arms crossed over her chest. She had answers, many they had desired to find, but more in the area they had never thought to expect. Their enemy had a force within the city, hiding in sight until they were given the order to start the attack. The beginning of their plan having been told completely, due to the persuasion of the Mord'Sith.

"We can't attack if we don't know who they are," Kahlan whispered as she stepped closer to the others. They were alone in a spare and locked room, but she refused to take any chances. "Innocent people could die."

"Everyone will die if we do not attack now," the blonde countered.

"If we do not have a plan, we will all die." The women took their eyes from each other's to meet his as he took in a slow and deep breath. "You're both right," he added as he turned away from them both and walked to a window. He stared out at the people below, the people who wet on with their day as though nothing was wrong, when in truth, they could be moments away from the end. "There are many people we can trust out there, those we can use to help us keep the others safe. If we can bring as many of them as possible into safety, we will know who it is we are to attack." Looking back to the Mother Confessor, Richard straightened his back. "They will come for you first, but the attempt will not be their strongest. You will stay with Cara and I until this is over and it is not up for discussion. Doris has returned and she will keep Emma safe with Keegan, they will not be on the ground for this war." Kahlan wanted to protest, wanton to keep their daughter with them, but she knew he was right. There could be no safer place for the young Confessor than the back of a dragon in the sky. "We will need to find you something else to wear, anything that can help protect you."

Cara nodded as she took a step back, preparing to do as instructed. "There is a man in the city who will have the armor that will fit the fat-"

"Let's go," the brunette interrupted at once. "We do not have the time to waste on the size of my body." She spoke as she walked to the door, ignoring the annoyed sigh that came from the other woman.

"Kahlan," Richard piped sternly as she opened the door. She stopped instantly and turned around, almost afraid she had forgotten something important of his plan. "We need to send Emma off before we head into the city, we may not make it back to the palace." Walking to her side, he took hold of her left hand and squeezed, reassuring her of his words, "She will be safe with Doris."

"I know, but it doesn't keep me from worrying about her. She's just like you, Richard. I'm not sure we can keep her away from a fight, not when she wants to protect us as much as we do her."

He chuckled in spite of himself, the vision of his daughter fighting an army of men with a dragon spinning in his imagination. "We would be just as safe in her hands."

"She couldn't reach the enemy," Cara stated flatly. "She's far too small to cause any real damage. She should be nowhere near a battle."

Pulling her hand from Rchard's, Kahlan grabbed Cara's arm with a small smile at her attempt to disguise her desire to have their daughter safe. "You're right, she shouldn't be in battle."

The blonde pushed through the door without another word, the couple following closely as they made their way to the garden, where they were sure to find the young Confessor.

"She'll have a baby too!" Emma said joyfully as her parents came into view. "Doris found a mate, mommy! She's like a Confessor! Mom-"

"Emma, I need you to listen to me," Kahlan said as she knelt down before her. "You need to go with Doris, she will keep you safe. You both are to fly away, do you understand? No matter what happens, I need you to stay away from the city."

"Is it time for war?"

"I'm afraid that it is. I need you to promise me that you will not come until we tell you that it's safe."

"I can help, mommy. I have magic-"

"I know, but you cannot be apart of this. You have so much more you have to learn and I can't... Emma, we can't lose you."

Looking between her parents concerned faces, she slowly nodded. "Alright... We will- No Doris, mommy says we can't help. I promise, mommy." Jumping forward, she hugged the Mother Confessor tightly and whispered in her ear. "I can't lose you either."

"We will do everything we can to get back to you."

Richard lifted her into his arms, hugging her as she hurried her face in his neck. "I love you."

"I love you too, Emma."

The dragon was standing at their side, nudging her nose against Kahlan's arm until she turned toward her and petted the large snout. "You must protect her, Doris. She can't be here when it begins." The creature stared at her silently, watching her until the mother, at last, let out the tears she withheld. "Please take care of her."

Doris gave a softer than usual screech and flew into the air. Making a quick circle above them, she roared loudly for a few moments and then dropped down with two others. Richard pushed Kahlan behind him as they stared at the new creatures, each staring as though they were waiting to attack. They were larger than their pet, more than twice the size, but they remained still. Doris nudged the family forward, motioning to the others until realization flooded their minds.

"These must be her friends," Kahlan stated as she inched around the Seeker. The dragon that stood on the left, black and dark blue, with bright green eyes leaned forward and rested her head to the ground. The position was perfect for Kahlan to examine her, slowly running her hand over the scales of its face. "Hello... You're beautiful." The instant she stepped closer, the other, solid black with gold eyes, nudged her back and copied the others position. It waited patiently for her to touch its head as well, both seeming to take it as a sign of trust. "Hello to you, too."

"Doris says they'll go with you," Emma said as her father brought her feet back to the ground. "This one is a girl, too! Let's name her, Debbora! And that one... Oh." The small brunette stepped forward and studied the other dragon. "This is Doris'... She chose you. I'm going to call you, Ezechiel. Look, mommy, this is her mate."

Kahlan stepped beside her daughter and stroked Ezechiel's snout as her mind spun in circles. Her daughter shouldn't be this excited at the thought of the dragon being the same as them in taking a mate. "I'm sure they will be wonderful parents."

"We need to go," Richard voiced as he watched the two girls before him. "Emma, you and Doris need to go somewhere safe."

She crawled up instantly, moving carefully over the dragon's face until she was able to turn around and take hold by the neck. "Can we come back tonight?"

Meeting her eyes, the Seeker frowned. "I don't know."

"We will find you when it's safe," Kahlan said softly, looking up to the small girl. "Go, before it's too late."

"I love you, mommy."

She smiled for a brief moment, allowing herself to push the fear and pain from her mind. "I love you, too."

"Let's go, Doris..."

They watched them fly away, the couple finding the other's hand for a moment of comfort. Doris let out a loud roar, one the others on the ground reciprocated. A goodbye, assumed by those around.

"She will be safe up there, won't she?" Kahlan found herself asking as her breath flew away with their daughter.

"There is no safer place for her."

"She would be safe with us."

"Not today."

Blinking out a light set of tears, the Mother Confessor swallowed. "I don't like it."

"Neither do I," he admitted quietly. "We should get moving."

Releasing a heavy sigh, she turned to face him, at last pulling her eyes from the last place she had seen their daughter. "You're right." Looking to the dragons, she smiled warmly. "Will you join us? We will need a few scouts above."

The creatures were flying within a heartbeat, both circling the air around them.

"You're staring at me," Kahlan stated as she shifted in her new set of armor. It took her and three others an hour to help her dress and she disliked the way she felt in it. "Did we miss something?"

"No," he breathed out as she turned toward him. "I was admiring the beautiful view." The way he spoke brought a smile to her lips, hearing the sincerity of his words. "I don't know why you don't like it."

She almost asked how he knew, but she paused, instantly remembering who it was she spoke to. "Weakness."

"Wearing that doesn't make you weak, Kahlan. It makes you stronger. You are going into battle when you can give birth any moment, there is another life you are protecting. That is not weakness." Coming to stand before her, he sighed. "Kahlan, I- You're a Confessor and you at used to being your own defense, but in a battle of this size, this is what is neck safety to survive. You wear this for all of us to survive."

Holding his gaze, she rested her hands on her stomach. "I'm afraid."

"She will be protected, I promise. You and I, we aren't going to let anything happen to her."

"She is not the only one I am afraid of losing."

"We all will still be here, I promise."

Her frown deepened as she stepped closer. "That is not something you can promise, Richard."

"I will do everything possible to keep our family safe."

With a slight nod and smile, she brought her hands to his cheeks. "That is something I will never doubt." She kissed him briefly, a quick moment to unleash herself before pulling back and straightening her back. "If you are ready Lord Rahl, there is a war to be won."


	12. Chapter 12

Every move she made was quick and precise, seeing the next before it was made. She knew when to strike and when to duck, a surprise to the enemy as they came after her. Richard spun around, doing his best to fight off his own attackers while keeping an eye on the Mother Confessor. The dragons darted through the air, one grabbing a group of men and carrying them away, dropping them before repeating the action. The other, Ezechiel, blew fire through the trees, removing the next immediate threat. Aydindril's army was in full attack, running around with cries of battle as they fought anyone who stood in their way. They had responded rather quickly, once accustomed to the help of the creatures.

Her armor made it difficult to to maneuver perfectly, but each time a blade came scraping into the metal, she was grateful for it. The enemy was skilled, knowing where to attack to to harm the child and had the armor not been there, she would be lost. The Seeker's grunt pulled her from her thought, instantly turning to see his sword cut through a man who's own blade hung rom Richard's shoulder. Her first instinct was to run over and help, but there were too many around her to allow the action. He met her eyes for a brief moment, a blink, telling her not to worry. The action brought her back to the moment, a timing more perfect that imaginable

Three of their enemies circled her, lunging forward with a loud growl. Kahlan threw her left hand out, hoping to keep one at bay, while the she pushed the dagger in her right hand into anyone close enough. A gasp left her lips as a wave of lighting released from her fingertips, instantly killing two of the men around her. Her word stopped for a moment, her heartbeat pounding in her ears so loud, it was all she could hear. The people slowed down as her head swirled in pain, but they didn't stop. She felt exhausted, and every inch of her threatened to fall to the ground, but the battle was not over yet.

Richard was suddenly at her side, forcing the men to move back while she gathered her own breath. She wanted to fall into his arms and sleep, but from the look on his face, that moment would have have to wait. He said nothing as he pulled her to him, letting her use his body as a momentary shield, instant protection from anything. Her vision was still blurry as she straightened her back, tightening her hold on her weapon, she gave him a quick nod to tell him she was alright. Within a few moments, they were surrounded by double their enemy and before long, the magic ripped through her once more. She fell to the ground with a hard thump, her world going dark.

Richard moved instantly, running his sword through every man close enough as he stood over the Mother Confessor's body. As long as he was in place, she would be safe. The men didn't seem to notice she was down, circling as though they were waiting for a stronger attack, one the Seeker made sure to give them. He growled in anger, his sword glowing in the rage as he allowed it to consume him.

It had been months since he had brought out the magic, having told himself to never let it win, but with her beneath him, he lost control. Screaming in anger, he tore through anyone he could reach, demanding they pay for harming the woman he loved. His eyes had gone black, frightening the enemy who continued to come, scream and become swept away in the process. The dragons continued to work, taking spears as though they were leaves falling through the wind and attacking with full force. Ezechiel swooped down and loaded beside the Seeker, watching the unconscious woman until he gave an order.

The dark dragon leaped into the air, grabbing the woman's body at once, and as it was commanded, carried her into the sky. Richard watched for a few breaths, making her she was safe before he threw himself back into the battle. He saw red in rage and each man who stood before him was seconds from greeting the anger within. He did this for her, he did everything for her.

Kahlan awoke in the air, making her heart stop for a moment as she looked to the ground. It was dark, telling her that she had not been asleep for very long. She could hear the battle below, but they were too high for her to see anything. Fear filled her as she imagined the ground below, the man who, she was sure, was still alive and fighting. Doing her best to remain calm, she called out to the creature, requesting to be returned to the war.

Ezechiel gave a loud screech, turning around at once with a swift dip that nearly made her empty the contents of her stomach. She was definitely not made to fly with a dragon. It was a quick flight, only a few breaths and she was back to the sight of blood and anger, the Seeker standing in the center. She hit the ground softer than she thought, partly believing the bodies helped. Richard was lost in rage, too far gone to realize she came closer and safe.

Kahlan dove into the battle, making her way to the Mord'Sith, who was, happily attacking the men around her. It was impossible for her to ignore his growls, his grunt with each swing of the sword.

"Don't move!" Richard shouted, instantly bringing everyone around him to a stop. His voice was deep and frightening, a sound none of them familiar with. A single man stepped forward and without hesitation, the Seeker shoved the blade of his sword into the man's chest and with his left hand, burned through his neck. What was left of the enemy gasped in horror, stepping back before the body fell to the ground.

The world stood still as he brought his eyes to circle the area. Cara straightened her shoulders, and grabbed Kahlan's arm, pulling her close as she made her way to his side. They couldn't be sure if he noticed their movement, he showed no sign as he let out a loud whistle. The Mother Confessor jumped at the sound, knowing what it was he called to them. Both dragons came down at once and each, scooped up a dozen men in their mouths, leaving a few to stare in shock as Richard made his final move, killing seven.

She wanted to vomit, needed to find her breath and prayed for it to end. Watching the man she loved rip one man apart, while burning another was not something she wished to ever see, but it didn't stop. He growled in anger and threw himself forward, almost tearing another man's head from his shoulders before kicking him to the ground. Richard took hold of one of the last set of men and followed the dragons on their next round of attack. When there were only a few men left, he returned his eyes to the man he held captive.

"You cannot win and the next move you make will be your last." He took in a deep breath and blinked slowly, letting his words sink into each man around him. "You are going to tell me everything you know. Make it the truth or you will not have the pleasure of the Mother Confessor's magic running through you, instead, I will cut you into the smallest pieces possible and then feed you to the young dragons we are sure to have soon."

"I don't know anything," the younger man whispered in terror. "Please," he added as he looked to the brunette standing behind his captor, "help me."

Kahlan took in a deep breath as her own, matching Richard's as she stepped forward. "You came to murder my family. Do not look to me for help. I will be the hand that holds you still while he rips the heart from your chest."

Her words flooded through him, bringing him to take a step back and look at her, his anger fading as he saw her face. He knew why she spoke what she did, she would always stand beside him, even in his worst of times. Her face was splattered with blood, her clothes and armor matching in the dark red that held his attention. The sight of her, and blood, made his heart pound in anger and agony, both emotions he knew he couldn't show.

"Speak!" he shouted at the man, needing a moment to reclaim his performance.

"If we did not take over the palace tonight, the war, everything he has planed... If we do not win, he will destroy you all. He will kill your people, burn your land and allow you to live just long enough to watch it all end. He is not a man you want to... You have dragons, but he has men, men crazy enough to do anything he commands. You once thought of him as an ally, he can fool anyone into anything."

"He can lead us to him," Kahlan stated as the thought formed in her mind. "He can-"

"No! I cannot go back! You-" He grew desperate at once, knowing what his master would do if he returned with the enemy, and then he moved.

The Mother Confessor held his gaze, the Seeker jumping forward in an instant, a breath too late.

Where the small blade had come from, no one knew, but it was now held firmly by her skin. He had perfect placement of the weapon, just missing the armor beneath her arm, hitting her side. She made no sound and no movement, her mind focused on the one thing she held closest. As she began to fall, Richard wrapped his right arm around her, holding her up as best as he could while Cara came to her other side.

His head jerked back to the man they had cornered, his blood boiling in rage. His mind spun with thoughts on how to kill him, each was different, each more painful than the rest. It wouldn't be quick, he made the decision instantly. Shoving his sword into his left shoulder, he pinned the man to the tree, and with dark eyes, he touched his hand to his chest and watched as the magic slipped in.

He gasped for air, his body shaking as he grew pale. His veins turned black, seen through his skin as he fought to breathe. Richard gave no second thought to the dying man, even as the others mumbled in shock and fear.

"Kahlan-"

"I'm fine," she lied quickly, trying to push her hand against the wound. "I don't think it was deep-"

Richard met the blonde's eyes and growled, "Kill the rest of them." Cara went without hesitation, leaving him alone with her. He held her arm still, using his other to push against her side. "Don't move," he said quieter than he thought he would. "I'm going to have to take the armor off and it's- It's going to hurt, Kahlan."

"I know and it's alright." Squeezing her eyes shut, she nodded, "Do it." She remained quiet as he pulled the metal from her body, ignoring the pain that shot through her. He watched her carefully, knowing she would hide anything that would bring him to be concerned. "It's not your fault, Richard." Looking to the man, who attacked her, now dead. "He wanted to die. He attacked me, knowing-" she sighed, shaking her head slightly as she reached for his hand - "what you would do. He wanted to die."

It was just like her to say what she did, instantly trying to help him feel better for killing someone. No matter the reason, it would upset him. "I'm going to keep you safe, I promise."

"I'm already safe, Richard."

He healed the wound with ease, his magic flooding through her as though it was apart of her as well. Their daughter within, in mixed her own, making Kahlan twitch on the ground for a few moments.

"Are you alright?"

"Fine, I- Kristy wanted to help you." She saw the relief in his eyes at the mention of their daughter, a fear he had been holding to himself for what felt to be hours. "She's fine, I promise. I think she found it more exciting than we did. I think she might secretly be Cara's," she added with a teasing smile.

"Don't worry, Lord Rahl," the blonde piped in from a few feet away. "Had I spent the night with her, I would have taught her some-"

"She doesn't need your lessons," Richard found himself saying before he could form a thought against it. His mind was on the night before, remembering the feel of her against him with a heat that spread through him. "How does it feel?" he questioned, hoping to change their topic of conversation.

With a sly grin, she lifted her arm and pretended to test the skin, doing her best to appear skeptic on his healing. She watched his expressions for a few breaths and then smiled, "It feels as though it never happened."

"We should get moving, then. I don't want this to carry on much longer. If we do not end this soon, he will have time to gather more men."

"We need help, ourselves. Richard, this was just his first, his smallest, attack. We have no idea what is waiting for us out there. If we... There are many questions we didn't think to ask and now, we have no way to learn the answers."

"Yes, we do," Cara stated bluntly in annoyance. "The dragons can scout ahead, take many of their men and leave just enough to make it fun."

"War isn't fun, Cara. If we-" Kahlan took in a deep breath, trying to keep all as her mind shouted one thing and her instincts, another.

"Cara is right. We will send the dragons ahead, you'll ride Ezechiel, you can tell us what you see."

"Alright," she replied, watching his pull his sword from the dead man's shoulder, sending his body to the ground. "Maybe I'll see Emma," she grinned as he hurried his eyes to hers. "She's your daughter, we both know she is out there somewhere, watching over us."

"Make sure she's safe."

Reaching out for his hand, she smiled. "Of course." Ezechiel lowered his head for her, snorting out a breath as she climbed up, bowing the hair back on her friends. "I'm sure she's going to meet us in the sky." They were flying within a moment, Kahlan closing her eyes until the rise was over and her heart quit pounding. "I don't think you want me to empty my stomach on you, when we do this again, can you move a little slower?" She waited a moment before laughing, realizing one important factor. "You can't respond, even if you could understand me." The dark dragon did a small dip, graceful and smooth, just as she had requested moments ago, an unspoken reply that eased her completely. "Thank you."

Her mind began to fill with all of the stories her daughter had told her. She told her so many things about what it was like to fly in the back of Dorris and how freeing it felt. She once described it as almost as though she was releasing her magic at all times and as Kahlan closed her eyes, she knew exactly what she meant. The air was crisp and cool, blowing her hair back as it brought a whiff of a scent she couldn't place, but wanted to hold onto it. The way the creature moved made it feel as though she was gliding along the clouds, a smooth motion that was comforting, even after the heat of the previous battle.

As she had thought, when she opened her eyes, she was granted the view of Doris and Emma, gliding toward them.

"Mommy! What's wrong?"

Shaking her head, she gave a weak smile. "Nothing, I wa- I am going to get a look at our enemies territory." The young girl nodded, bringing her eyes ahead of her as they flew side by side. "Do you want to help me?"

The smaller Confessor grinned widely as she looked back to her mother. "Are you sure it's alright?"

"Of course. I would like a moment to talk with you about something."

"I know you wanted me to find a safe place, but-"

"I'm not upset with you for staying close, Emma. That is not what I was wanting to speak with you about."

"What?"

Kahlan took in a slow breath, hoping that the right words would find her before it was time to return to the others. "Why are you so happy about Doris taking Ezichiel?"

"Because she has someone, mommy. Like you have daddy and me with my mate-"

"I don't think it's going to be the way you think it will. Emma, choosing a mate and what I have with your father, they are not the same thing." Her mind was spinning, wishing that this wasn't the life her daughter was to live. "The relationship I have with your father, Emma, it's not what you believe it to be, it is not how taking a mate is done."

"I don't understand."

Darting her tongue to her lips, she bought herself an extra moment to think. "I have not taken him as my mate. I love him, I can't... When we are together, I cannot- I hoped that you would be older when I talked with you about all of this."

"I know what you do," Emma said softly. "Cara told me."

A small smile crossed her mother's lips as she thought. "You've spent too much time with her."

"She's teaching me things." Looking away, she ran her hand over the dragon's scales. "You can't release your magic with daddy, but-"

"Your father can leave at any time, your mate, the man you choose, he will be bound to you through your magic, devoted in every way, it is not something to take lightly."

"I won't-"

"It's not the same as an enemy you Confess to save lives, Emma. When you take a mate, you- Taking a mate, sharing yourself with someone... It is not the way you think or the way anyone can describe to you. I took a mate, after I was with your father and I... There are no words true enough to explain the way that it felt. I was told for years how it would be, but in those moments, everything was different."

Meeting her eyes, Emma blinked slowly. "I can find someone like you did daddy."

"It's possible, but everything I've learned, that I've expereinced... I would not hold my breath. I am not saying that I do not believe it to he possible, but it is rare."

"You have daddy and Doris has Ezichiel. Why can't I?"

"It is one of the small burdens we must face. Our magic, it keeps us apart from those we may love. I never imagined finding someone who would, could, love me. Never anyone like your father. He- Every moment, I am greatfuly confused by his love for me, for us. You know how people feel about us, the way they see us, fear us and there is nothing we can do."

"This is why you wanted me to think about keeping my magic, isn't it? You- If I gave it up, I wouldn't be feared."

"You wouldn't be who you are."

"I could find someone and get married. If I was normal, I could have all of the things you can't!" Closing her eyes, she closed her fists and fought her anger, the same red that took hold of her father. "We need to go, Doris. Mommy can find the place on her own."

"Emma, wait-"

"He'll find us when it's time to come home."

And then she was gone. Kahlan watched the two girls fly away, the air tightening around her in a threatening wave.

"He has more men than we do. They are spaced throughout the land, most of them are here at the border of our cities. Richard, they're waiting for us."

"We won't be walking into their land. Anyone they have there will not see us coming."

"We only have two dragons, they can't carry all of our men."

Richard smiled, shaking his head. "We have over a dozen, the men are waiting for the orders."

"When do we leave?"

"As soon as you tell me what happened with you and Emma." Kahlan blinked in confusion, having hoped that she had appeared to be alright. "What happened?"

"I was trying to protect her," she started quietly. "I think I made a mistake."

"Taking a mate?" He couldn't help but give a small smile at the surprise on her face. "I saw the look in your eyes when she mentioned it with Doris. She may be smart, but she is still a child, Kahlan. There is no way to truly prepare her. She sees things differently; sometimes I think she sees them better than we do. She has your innocences, believing the world will be how she hopes."

"I haven't believed that in years."

"No, because the world we live in better it from you. Kahlan, who are we to say that she cannot find what she is looking for? We talk about changing our world for the better and if we succeed, if we manage to do half of what we dream, Emma may live a part of that future."

"I'm so afraid she's going to get hurt."

Taking her hand, he squeezed gently. "We cannot stop that. We all get hurt, our hearts... All we can do is give her the tools she will need to heal and become better."

Wiping the tears from her cheeks, she sighed. "I think you should have had this conversation with her."

"When the war is won, we will have it with her, together."

"I need you to promise me," she whispered suddenly.

Releasing her hand, he grabbed her cheeks gently and inched forward. He knew why she asked him to promise, he knew very well and it pained him to think that what she I visioned in her mind would take place. "I promise."

It was all she needed to hear. Leaning forward, she kissed him briefly, savoring the taste of his lips for a final time, committing it to memory. "I love you, Richard."

"I'm not going to die, none of us are. We will see the sun rise in the morning and it will shine down upon the bodies of our enemy."

Giving a quick nod, she forced a smile. "Let us not keep them waiting."

"You're spending too much time with Cara."

Letting out a soft chuckle, she began walking toward the dark dragon, who continued to wait for orders. "I said something similar to Emma. We are going to need to talk with Cara, too."

"Cara?"

"It can wait until this is over." He followed her onto the creature, helping her when he was needed. When they were settled on the back, Richard held her arms to him. "I could get used to flying like this, with you." Her hands began to travel over his chest, her lips coming closer to his ear as she continued, "We're alone... Overdressed..."

"Spirits, Kahlan," he half panted as she lowered her hands.

"I'm sorry," she spoke after a moment of thought. "Sometimes I cannot stop myself."

"I'm not complaining."

"Maybe you should. We're in the midst of a war, and I'm trying to seduce you while flying on the back of a dragon. If the roles were reversed, I would believe you had gone mad."

"I know you haven't gone mad, Kahlan. I saw you up here before, the way you- You're comfortable up here. When you returned before, I could see it in your eyes. You had the same expression on your face that Emma had when she had to let to let go of Doris for the first time. You looked as though you had lost something."

"How do you manage to see such things?"

Turning his head, he tossed her a side smile. "I pay attention."

"You must use magic." Pulling herself closer, she brushed her lips against his ear and grinned. "When we have won the war, I request another private flight with you, Lord Rahl."

"Mother Confessor, I believe we have a plan."

No one saw the dozen dragons, not until they were swooping down with a hungry roar. Had they not set fire to the many, they may not have held a chance. There were hundreds of them, men, willing to die for their leader. Kahlan had been taken to the ground for a round of battle as the Seeker circled the area for a better view. She had informed him on everything, never missing a single man and as he came back to her area, she continued to be just as accurate.

The Mother Confessor moved swiftly between the enemy, cutting one down before lifting her hand to another. One man was Confessed and them the next, blown apart by the lightning that flowed from her fingertips. Their unborn daughter had perfect timing in bringing her own aid. She didn't look exhausted, though from the amount of magic flowing through her, she should be unconscious. Ezechiel tilted, his wings outstretched perfectly as he slid down to the ground. He fought at her side, taking down everyone he could reach while she did the same with more elegance. He longed to take a step back and watch, but there were too many of them.

"Down!" she shouted suddenly, causing him to drop to the ground without question or hesitation. She spun quickly, her hands outstretched as her magic escaped and claimed a dozen of the men around them. "Kill your friends!" she ordered at once, never keeping her eyes on anyone long enough to see the darkness. "Your leader, find him and bring him to us, alive!" The moment the men rushed to do as she commanded, she knelt down and grabbed his face, making sure she had not touched him with her magic. "I- I'm sorry, I wasn't sure- I was afraid I had lost you."

"I'm still be here."

She kissed him, hard, for a moment, smiling as she pulled away and looked around them. "Our moment alone seems to be arriving sooner than we thought."

"Are you alright?" He was looking over her, having missed her previous statement as he examined her. "I can call Ezechiel-"

"I'm fine, Richard. I- Most of the magic wasn't mine. I don't know how she's doing it, but she is allowing me to grab onto her magic." She smiled widely for a breath and then let it fade. "The amount of power... Richard it's exhilarating and frightening at the same time."

"You use it well," he said in a voice that held her attention. "It's beautiful."

"I can't wait to see her use it."

Takin her hand, he gave a gentle squeeze. "Me either."

Straightening her back, Kahlan lifted her head. "With our luck, she will be born upon this battlefield."

"Spirits, I hope no-" His eyes grew wide for a moment, his body going rigged, as he looked at her. "Are you-"

"No, I'm sorry- I... She's not ready, not just yet. This isn't exactly the moment I'd like her to choose, either. This, it shouldn't be the first thing she sees."

"No," he agreed in relief. "But I don't think she knows how innocent the world should be."

"She's a prophet, Richard. There will be no innocence for her." His mind spun and she could see each thought clearly, bringing her to tug on his hand for his attention once more. "She will have a life she will be proud of. She will help cities of people and she has already begun."

A familiar grunt pulled their attention, their eyes falling upon the blonde friend, who fought three men with a smile. Without a word, they rushed forward, releasing the other's hand as they came toward the enemy.

The wars end was in sight as the night continued on. The enemy dwindled as they reached the center of their home and soon, they came face to face with the man who caused it all.

Lawrence Dew.

The sight of him had always made her skin crawl, but seeing him like this, in the heat of battle, it made her angry. The man who stood feet from her was the one who wanted to destroy everything she had; everything she loved. She had never felt this kind of rage before and suddenly she knew. The Rahl magic was deep within her and she needed it to move, to exist and as she came closer to Lawrence, she felt herself becoming lost. Everywhere she looked was red, a rage that thrived on each breath.

"You will no win this war, Dew! Call off your men before we have their head fertilizing our dinner!" she seethed. The world stood still as the Mother Confessor's tone held their ears. "You end this now and we will remove your head before using your body as an example to those who would follow you."

"There is nothing you can threaten me with, monster. You are not fit to lead anyone, your people want someone like me." Looking to Richard, who, in comparison, was calmer than a leaf on a tree limb. "Your lover feels the same way. What man wants you, when he can have so many others... Hear their cries of ecstasy as you empty yourself within them. You will never experience a true night of pleasure with a Confessor in your bed."

Kahlan didn't blink, nor look in Richard's direction, her attention set fully on the man before her. He was not a big man, but he was larger than her. He was thicker and stronger, but those around them would not bet against her. He had to have gone mad, her mind tried to reason as she took a full look at him. Here he stood, feet from the Mother Confessor and showed no fear, no emotion other than the smirk he gave the man beside her.

"You can speak the truth, Seeker, tell her. You have known far more from other women."

Before Richard could form a thought to speak, she did, "The nights Lord Rahl and I share in our bed, I assure you are more than pleasurable. That is not the case in our bedroom, he is not bound to me and if he wished to leave, he is free to do so at any moment." Lawrence shifted, almost confused by her words, but the man she spoke of didn't disagree. "If Richard wished to take another woman to his bed, I would not stop him. He is his own man and is more than capable of making decisions on his own, as are my people." Richard's back straightened at the hiss that followed her words and he then realized the fight she had within. The anger wished her to act, but her mind and heart, her existence, told her otherwise. "If the people of Aydindril wish for a new ruler, for someone to take my place, they have the right. If I am unfit to care for them and protect them as I wish to do, they should be free of me. But I will die to be sure that the next body that sits in the throne is not a boy, willing to kill them for the chair." She was almost pressed against him, her body so close to his, he leaned back, the others having missed her movement. "If you have spoken with anyone in my land who wishes to have me removed, bring them out. Bring them to me, and we will discuss their concerns. You must have someone," she growled as she looked around them. "You have attacked my city, my family and with a story that I cannot make sense of. If I am the monster in this tale, please, show me who's eyes to look through."

"Your own eyes are monstrous."

"Yes," she agreed softly, yet another trait of herself screaming to be heard. "But they are not the source of my magic. They have seen more horrific things than you've been able to dream, but I am here and the death you have caused... It is you who is the monster."

"I seek to free us all from your soul!"

"You are all free!" she shouted. Kahlan grabbed the man's robes and lifted him just slightly to prove her strength. "No man here is a slave to me, but my men will fight for what is right, just for us all and the day I am no longer of use, I will not remain to take them in game. You have attacked my family in a selfish game and have no hope of winning. Tell your men to drop their weapons and they will be spared."

"And if I do not?"

She smiled, one that made his blood run cold. "I will use your body as an example. I will disfigure you in ways you cannot imagine and then, when your screams have faded, when you are in the grasps of the Keeper, I will begin on each man who remains a threat while you are slowly pulled into the underworld. As I step to each man, you will hear their death as you pray for yours." Holding her face to his, her smile faltered, replaced with a hollow expression. "If they do not drop their weapons, I will become the monster you wished to protect them from. Give the order." The man remained quiet, stubborn as he looked to his men. "Give the order!"

"Never."

The men exchanged looks as her army prepared their return to battle, each fearing the next move. At once, a group of men dropped their swords, their axes and any small blade they had concealed within their armor. The others, quickly followed the actions, their eyes on the Mother Confessor who didn't look away from Lord Dew.

"Your men are wiser than you." Turning her head slightly, she took in a slow breath as Richard moved in close. "Tell the men to return to their home; their families. We have no quarrel with them."

His first instinct was to question her, but she was not the woman he could reason with, not at this moment. Without pause, he turned to the other men, and slowly slid his sword back into its sheath. "You heard the Mother Confessor. Go home to your families, our men will not stop you."

No one looked back to their leader, who called after them with each move. Kahlan remained before him, his robes held firmly in her grasp. From the expression on her face, he could only assume she was deciding his fate. He was no match for her, there was none.

"You believe me to be a monster," she said quietly after a few heartbeats. "I have no right to deny the thought, my opinion counts as much as a fly in the stalls, but you will spend what is left of your life in service to me and my people. You will never harm anyone again." Before he could blink, her magic tore through him, his body flying from her grasp.

"Kahlan," Richard started, returning to her side. Her eyes were closed, her body exhausted and she gave no sign of hearing him or the man at her feet, who begged for forgiveness. "It's over."

"You will walk to Aydindril, helping anyone you come across and when you arrive to the city, someone will find use for you. You will begin your journey now." When he hurried away, Richard grabbed her hand, pulling just slightly for her attention. Her eyes were still dark, but it wasn't from her own magic. She looked at him, no, through him. "Richard?"

"We can go home now. The war, it's over."

"No," she whispered distantly. "I saw- She showed me so much more."

"This is over, Kahlan. None of those men will attack our family, this war is over."

"It's over?"

"You've won."

A brief smile crossed her lips before she grabbed his arms to keep steady. "We've won?"

Richard nodded, stepping forward to catch her as she began to sway, her world going dark.


	13. Chapter 13

"Mommy already told me," Emma whispered as she continued to rest against Doris. They returned hours before, but the young Confessor refused to go inside the palace

"I'm not here to talk to you about that," Richard replied as he knelt down before her. "I think you should come inside with me."

"I don't want to. I'm mad at mommy."

"She was trying to protect you."

"I don't need to be protected! I can take care of myself! She thinks I'm weak, but I'm not! I-"

"No, you're not," he agreed softly, quieting her shouting. "We know that you are capable of anything, but now is not the time to talk about- Emma, please come inside with me."

"No."

"If you do not walk inside with me, I will carry you-"

Jumping to her feet, she pushed him back with a huff. "No! I don't want to see her and you can't make me!"

"Emma-"

"You're not a father to me, I won't go!"

Moving back to his feet, he looked down at the small girl, who now cried softly. "You have every right to be angry with me, I wasn't here for you- Emma you can hate me, but your mother- When she awakens, you can speak with her about-"

"Awake? What happened?"

Turning away from her, he sighed. "War."

"Daddy?" she called after him, hoping for his attention. He didn't stop moving, even as she began to walk behind him. "Daddy, please... Da-"

"I understand that you are angry, but now is not the time to- When she wakes up, when we know she is well, we can discuss this again."

"Is she hurt?"

"I'm not sure."

Taking his hand, she hurried beside him, wishing she was able to turn back time and take back what she had said. "Doris said we won, is it true?"

"It is."

"Many people died, didn't they?"

"Yes."

"Daddy, please-"

"You may wish you could take it back now, maybe you believe you didn't mean it, but you did."

"No, I didn't, daddy-"

Blinking, he came to a stop and looked down at her. "Yes, you did. I've said something similar to your mother once and she was right, it came from somewhere."

"Anger," she whispered. "What did you say to mommy?"

Richard held her gaze for a few moments, wishing it had been something he could share in this moment. "Something terrible."

"Something worse than what I said?"

"Yes."

"Oh... But she forgave you."

Lowering himself back to his knees, he combed his fingers through part of her hair. "Yes, but I still hurt her. Words can be more painful than anything."

"I'm sorry... I- I don't know why I said it."

"I wasn't the father you should have had," he told her softly.

"You are now."

"That doesn't keep me from wishing I had been there from your first breath."

Emma leaned forward, wrapping her arms around his neck tightly. "I'm sorry, daddy."

"Come on, we should get back to your mother. I don't want her to wake up alone."

"How long?"

"Three hours. She lost consciousness just after the battle ended."

"Maybe she's tired."

"Maybe."

Kahlan slept through the night, never moving as Emma and Richard took turns speaking to her. Their daughter was laying next to her, the Seeker in a chair at the beds side. The room was tense, piercing anyone who came inside until the young girl could handle it no more.

"I'm sorry- for what I said outside... I'm not mad at you." She spoke her final word harder than the others, her eye falling to her mother. "She wouldn't let you be here. She-"

"I think the decision hurt her more than you realize," he interrupted.

"I used to ask her to bring you here, but she said it wasn't possible. She lied to me."

"I don't believe she did. Emma, keeping me away, she did what was best for both of you. The man that I was turning into... I don't know how she allows me to be close to either of you, even now."

"She must have forgiven you."

"Maybe and maybe it's time you forgave her."

"What did you do?"

Letting out a long sigh, Richard leaned forward and rested his forearms on his knees. "I gave her many reasons to fear me. The things I did- She loves us so much, she looks past the pain we cause her." His voice was distant, his mind replaying the horrific night in full detail. "If you want to be upset with someone for keeping me away, it's not your mother you should be angry with. It's me."

"No, mommy said she didn't want you here. It's her fault-"

Standing, Richard brushed his fingers through his hair and blinked out a heavy set of tears. "I thought you were some other man's child and one night I became someone else, and had she not stopped me... She had every right to want to keep me from you. The man who tried to cut a child from her mother should not be near that family. You mother has done nothing but try to protect you from the horrors that you don't know exist, because she has already faced them for you. You have no reason to be angry with her, she would die for you and she almost did." Turning away, he let out a loud growl and slammed his fist into the wall beside the door, almost covering the gasp that left his daughter. He had never wanted her to know any portion of what happened the night they spoke of, but with Kahlan lying motionless between them, he feared the worst and he could not let the anger, from his blood, be what Emma regretted if she died.

"Mommy said if she told you, you'd die, but that you would love me... It was a lie. You wanted to kill me!"

He wondered if he should leave the room, his body screamed for him to, but he didn't want Kahlan to wake up without him. He lost the trust and love he had from the small girl, he could feel it slipping from the room as it grew colder. Everything he wanted to protect her from had just come from his own lips. It was his fault and no matter what he said, he couldn't undo any of it.

"I wanted you to be mine."

"I was, but you didn't love us enough!"

Emma watched him, quietly letting herself process his words as her emotions raged within. She suddenly hated herself for being angry with her mother, for believing she had been selfish and wanted to keep her from him. The stories started to make sense, the look in the Mother Confessor's eyes when she asked about her father. Every conversation she had on the topic flooded her mind, whispering its truth in her ears. Her father's forehead rested against the wall, his hands fisted at his sides as he took in one heavy breath after another. He held the same expression in his eyes as Kahlan when she told her it was best for him to continue his training. She had protected her from the beginning.

Moving off of the bed, she walked slowly to the door, stopping beside him as her eyes held onto the wood. Reaching over, she grabbed his hand, his fingers instantly wrapping around hers. "When you knew I was yours-"

"I knew you were mine the moment I saw you at the Palace of the Prophets."

"Did you regret what you tried to do?"

"It didn't take me that long to regret it. I saw something in her eyes that night and it's haunted me every minute since. Even in my anger, I knew what I had done was... I knew she would never take me as her mate and knowing she had taken him-" Looking over to her, he sighed. This was leading them to the conversation she had fought with her mother about. "I couldn't understand why she had taken him. It was months later, when we first began to communicate again, that I saw a piece of what she had planned. She took Tony as her mate because she loved me. If she convinced me she was happy with him, I might let her go and find someone of my own. She didn't think about the pain it would bring her. I think that was what she was trying to warn you about."

Her eyes flew to his, angry at first, but softened as she studied his face. "When you wanted to give up your magic, a part of her wished that you would. She wanted you to have the life she couldn't. If you fell in love, you could be married; be happy. If you didn't have your magic, you could have the life you deserve. She never wanted you to feel the pain she feels every day." Looking over his shoulder, he moved his eyes over the other brunette. "She wants so badly to protect us, she is willing to be filled with pain. I know you've felt it, a portion of it. I see it in her eyes, when we are alone and I... There is nothing I can do to take it away, but when I'm with her, when we talk about our family, I see the hope in her eyes and I know she will never act upon it."

"Why?"

"Because she would rather die than Confess me."

Their eyes met once again and Emma frowned. "But you want her to."

"Yes."

"Why?"

"That is the only way I can prove my love for her."

Shaking her head, she released his hand and wrapped her arms around his waist. "No, it's not."

"If you have an idea-"

"Being here..."

Kneeling down, he grabbed her hands, needing the contact. "I'm sorry, Emma."

"Me too."

"I never wanted you to feel like I didn't love you. I've always loved you, I just didn't know it."

"That's not the worst thing you did, is it?"

"I wish that it was."

"Will I do it, too?"

Richard shook his head, giving her a brief and small smile. "You're stronger than I am. I don't believe you will let yourself be taken over by your own rage. You're like you mother."

"What do you mean?"

"She used our magic tonight, during the battle. She felt the anger within our blood and she fought it. When we stood before the man who wished to kill us, she remained true to herself and what she knew to be just."

"Is he dead?"

"Confessed. He is walking here from the field, I don't believe he will make it."

Confused, Emma tilted her head, matching the expression her mother had. "Why not?"

"Because she told him to help everyone he can and after what his people have endured in this war, he will never have a chance to stop helping. I think that is what she wanted. Not for him to die, but for him to, in some way, make up for his mistake to his people. That is the kind of women you both are. People can trust you and they know that no matter how afraid they are of you, you will aid them."

"Can I ask you something?"

"Anything."

"When I walked over here- After what you told me, why weren't you afraid when I touched you?"

"I'm never afraid when you touch me, Emma, but in that moment, I knew- I know that there is nothing that can bring me a worse pain that what I feel about that night. I have wished for death over it and begged her to take me so I may spend the rest of my life loving her the way she deserves. I wasn't afraid because I love you and as angry as you are with me, I know you. You may not forgive me for all that I have and have not done, but you love me, too. I have made mistakes and I cannot take them back. I only hope that somehow I am able to keep you from making the same ones." He studied her face for a moment, seeing her make the same expressions her mother did before she collapsed. "Are you alright?"

Shaking her head, she blinked and released her tears. "No. I'm sad... I keep- If you had killed me, I wouldn't be here. I was almost dead."

"I can't apologize for that night enough and I know that I can never take back the way it makes you feel, but I do love you. I don't know what I would do without you."

"Maybe you would be happier," she whispered. "If it wasn't for me, mommy never would have been out there and the dragon wouldn't have hurt her. Maybe-"

"I can not be happy without the both of you. You are my family and that day, that was not your fault. You wanted to protect her and in many ways, you did. She is here because of you. When you ran inside, I knew who you were and I- I loved you. You looked so much like her and the instant I saw you, I felt connected." Wiping her cheeks with his thumbs, he sighed. "You were strong and caring, beautiful and smart, everything your mother said you to be and I was proud."

"Proud?"

"How could I not be? Emma, you are more than everything I could have hoped my daughter to be. I never had a doubt that she would be a wonderful mother, but seeing you and watching the two of you together, I never thought I would see anything so wonderful."

Emma smiled at his words, twisting her hands before her as she held his gaze. "Mommy's my friend."

"A very good one," he told her softly. "You are lucky to have her."

Looking over his shoulder, she looked to her mother on the bed. "Is she going to die?"

"No, we aren't going to let her go. She's just tired, when she's rested, she will wake up and when she does, we will have a great story to tell you."

"Better than the ones Cara tells me?"

"I don't know, what kind does she share?"

Holding back a smile, she shook looked to the ground. "She tells me about the world, boys and how she-"

"Boys?"

"She says that when I'm older, I'm going to like them more than I think I will. She says when I take my mate, I... It will be the way mommy says it will, won't it?"

Releasing a soft sigh, Richard straightened her dress. "I don't know, but I don't think it's something you should talk to Cara about. If you have questions, or want to talk about it, the only person who can give you answers and help you is your mother. Emma, Cara knows the world differently than we do and when she's with a man... You don't need to think about that for many, many years. Boys are not to he trusted, do you understand me?"

Emma nodded with a soft chuckle. "Yes. But I must take a mate, it's my duty."

"Your duty is to be you, a young, and happy girl until the day comes and you must aid your people, but when it arrives, I want you to promise me that you will move cautiously."

"I promise. Do you think mommy will want some pie when she wakes up?"

"I think she wants pie at every breath," he grinned. "It must be a favorite of Kristy's as well."

"I'll get some from the kitchen! I think Brenda made more apple!" She started to turn and hurry away, but stopped and rushed back to him. Wrapping her arms around him, she pushed her face into his neck for a moment. "I'm sorry I was mad at you."

Returning her hug, Richard closed his eyes. "And I'm sorry, for everything." She was running from the room the next moment, a smile on her face as though nothing had happened and he wished her life could stay that way. "You were right," he said as he turned toward the bed. Kahlan was still lying on her back, but her eyes were open and they met his at once. "We do need to have that talk with Cara." Coming to the side of the bed, her sat down in his chair and leaned forward, taking hold of her hand as he fought his tears. "You could have said something."

"I didn't need to," she whispered. "You said everything that mattered. It may hurt now, but she knows that you love her."

"I never wanted her to know what I had done. She shouldn't know that man exists inside of me."

"No, but now she knows for certain, that the man you are, the one who carries her through our home on his back is here because he wants to be." Closing her eyes for a moment, she shifted to for a better look at him. "You wanted her to be yours," she said after a moment. "I think that there is no greater way to explain to her. Richard, with that one sentence, you showed her the pain you felt and how much you wanted to be apart of her life. Richard, I-"

"No," he interrupted quietly. "You cannot blame yourself for that. You were not only protecting our daughter, but yourself as well. In truth, had I allowed myself to think without the anger, I believe I may have seen it all differently. Before, whenever I thought of you becoming a mother, I was excited for you because I knew that there would be no one greater and your child, your beautiful little girl, she... I knew I would love her, I would long before she took her first breath because I loved you." Releasing a sigh, he slouched her his shoulders. "Maybe I should have told her that, as well."

"I'm sure she would love to hear it." Wide in her smile, she pulled on his hand until he came closer. "Thank you for talking to her, especially about boys," she chuckled. "I hope she's still as agreeable when the time comes."

With a chuckle of his own, he nodded. "Me too." Inching his face close to hers, he nudged his nose against her cheek. "I was afraid I was going to lose you both. You scared me."

"I know, I'm sorry. I tried to stop it, but she was determined that I rest." Kahlan let out a quiet laugh, bringing her left hand to her stomach with a soft tap. "She's just about ready to join us."

Richard stumbled to his feet in both panic and excitement, his mind rushing back to the vision she had given him of Emma's birth. Looking around the room, he tried to figure out his next move, lost in the moment.

"What do I do?"

Squeezing his hand, she pulled. "Help me sit forward, please. This will go smoother if I am able to see the room. Richard," she added quietly, "stay with me?"

"I'm not going to go anywhere."

Emma was sitting in the rocking chair that was moved next to her mother's bed, slowly rocking as her little sister squirmed in her arms. Richard remained on the bed with Kahlan, her back to his chest as he held her close, both watching their daughters.

"Why is she so small?" she questioned as tilted her head for a better look at Kristy's face.

"You were that small too," Kahlan told her with a smile. "She will grow bigger, just like you."

Richard's hold on her tightened as he watched, his heart pounding so hard, he was certain she could feel it. He was happy in a way he had never imagined and the sight of his family before him made him want to run through the city sharing his joy.

Emma looked up from the baby and met he father's eyes. "Is she what you wanted?"

"You both are," he replied at once. "She couldn't have a greater big sister."

"You should hold her. She needs her father to hold her as a baby."

"Emma," Kahlan whispered before the Seeker tightened his arms around her.

"It doesn't matter the age, as long as I can hold her."

"But you can hold her like this."

"I can hold you tighter."

Emma grinned and inched forward, coming to her feet with her sister close to her chest. "May we sit with you?"

"Of course," her mother whispered. "Carefully, please. I'm not sure I'm quiet up for a party."

"Kristy is," she giggled as she handed her sister to her mother. "Are you alright, mommy?"

"I will be," she told her quietly.

"Cara says it hurts... Having a baby."

Nodding slowly, she let out a slight laugh. "She's right."

"Can't daddy help?"

"He has, but a woman, her body is made to do this; it must heal on its own."

"But if it hurts, why can't daddy help?"

"He is, right now. He's taking in a portion of it as my body begins to heal. If he weren't here, the pain would be far worse."

"Was it that way when you had me?"

"Yes, but you and Kristy, holding you seems to take away much more. I can't describe the way it feels."

"Happy?"

"Very," she smiled, relaxing a little more against his chest. Kristy snuggled closer to her chest, her eyes closed as she slept next to the beat of her mother's heart. "It's almost hard to believe. I laid here for hours, with you just like this, watching every move you made. I couldn't take my eyes off of you."

"Because I was a part of daddy?"

"Partly. You are a part of both of us and you are proof of our love. I- I never expected to feel such joy."

"What do we do now?"

Richard chuckled, "I think we watch her sleep until she wakes up."

"And then we watch some more?" she questioned. "Cara was right, she doesn't do much, does she?"

"Not yet, but soon, she will be chasing you down the hall."

"I can't wait." Bringing her eyes back her her father's she blinked innocently. "Will you still want to carry me on your back when she's bigger?"

"Always."

****** The End******


End file.
